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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A temporary cessation of hostilities

355 replies

ScarletBegonias · 19/06/2018 09:40

I know how serious all this is – but there may be no harm in a little light relief from time to time.

So - has anyone else found themselves watching the football and fantasising about a game between Trans Rights Activists (or whatever they’d like to call themselves) and … shall we say … a Mumsnet Team of Everyday Radical Feminists? (Or maybe a team called Spartacus?) After all, there was a temporary cessation of hostilities at Christmas 1914 during which English and German troops apparently played football with each other.

Here are some extracts from how the commentary might go:

“That was a dangerous run by Munroe Bergdorf, neatly blocked at the last minute by AngryAttackKittens.”

“Keeper Jane Fae has put the knitting down in the corner of the net as Datun steps up to take the penalty.”

“SwearyGodmother has been shown a yellow card for something she said to the referee.”

“Bowlofbabelfish, Spontaneousgiventime, and LangCleg are in the wall as Paris Lees gets ready to take the free kick.”

“We can see how important the preparation was, with R0wantrees briefing the team on the opposition’s tactics in previous matches.”

“The referee is running over to an incident involving the realposieparker and Lily Madigan.”

You can paint your own mental pictures of what the spectators might look like!

Okay. Back to reality.

OP posts:
spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 16:04

Jane 'eggshell skulls' Fae is offering media training.

SwearyG · 19/06/2018 16:06

Mimmymum is having a shocker of a match, learning that blocking means something entirely different from lalalalala-not-listening in the real world. As a result she’s entirely unable to defend a single play from team Sporticus and her subsequent bitching to the chosen few in the stands has left an opening the size of the future enquiry into Mermaids right in front of the goal. Successful attacks from team Sporticus now coming thick and fast.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 16:09

And weeee're off.. Parker doesn't hesitate - looks like she is going for a strike... wait.. what's this?

West Yorkshire Police are cordoning of Team Mermaid's goal - they are shaking their heads and waving their hands.. apparently it is a test case. . Kicking a spherical object into Team Mermaid''s goal could be a criminal offence..

Amalfimamma · 19/06/2018 16:11

Mermaids have called for a sub. The new player has come on the pitch in a bikini and high heels with a sash that says miss mermaid on it. We're not entirely sure who it is or who it's meant to be.

The ref has stepped in and is saying "this is not miss England you fool"

Red cars for the player much to the protests from the stands and dugout and screams of "you're literally denying our existence"

Amalfimamma · 19/06/2018 16:12

*red card

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 16:17

The red card is for Suzie but she doesn't seem to get what cutting in-front of means.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 16:21

Mimmymum stole the flag of the lineswoman, waved it around frantically and got herself in a tangle -all tied up in the police cordon and net - play is interrupted while the referee helps her out.

Amalfimamma · 19/06/2018 16:45

Owen Jones is back with his mother in tow who's waving a rolling pin at the Spartacus team screaming 'let my son play with your balls".

He's seen smirking at the team

Wait. Here come the NUJ in hot pursuit of Owen's demanding their membership card back for his abuse of snark tones in his pieces.

He's not smirking now

GardenGeek · 19/06/2018 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 16:56

New chant being heard from the Sportacus fans - they're really getting behind their team now....

It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
Women's rights are coming home

It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming,
Women's rights are coming home

Everyone seems to know the score,
They just know, they're so sure
That Mumsnets gonna throw it away, gonna blow it away
But it should be fair play,
'Cause we remember

Man Friday on our shirts
Feminists united
A hundred years of hurt
And we'll damn well keep on fighting

So many jokes, so many jeers
But all those "oh so near's"
Wear you down, through the years
But I still see Datun post on a thread
Read what Janice Turner has said
And sigh at Mumsnet back tracking

Man Friday on our shirts
Feminists united
A hundred years of hurt
And we'll damn well keep on fighting

GardenGeek · 19/06/2018 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 17:01

Team Sportacus for the win!

TerfsUp · 19/06/2018 17:07

[Gah. I got my India's confused: the player should have been Willoughby, not Knight.]

As you were.

TerfsUp · 19/06/2018 17:08

GG, this is not the place for you to flog your thread.

placemats · 19/06/2018 17:09

If ever England is failing and a goal is needed I always put on

It's coming home.

For all the great people I watch/watched football with. Live and on the telly.

xx

SwearyG · 19/06/2018 17:10

Off topic but I stacked my first car to Three Lions. It was not dignified.

Amalfimamma · 19/06/2018 17:14

To be honest I'm living the dream. Little or no fotte in the TV, no mad parties and no screams of goaaaaaaallllllllll to be heard at all hours.

And I get a sort of sadistic smugness when I do hear ppl. Discuss the world cup and talk badly about other teams. I just butt in with "at least they made it to the world cup. What happened to Italy?" with a "I'm a girl I don't understand football" innocent smile

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 17:26

And we've had a pitch invasion by Team Appeasement captained by Garden.

Interestingly they only seem to be targeting Team Sportacus and the distraction has caused on opening on the left flank for Mimmymum to make a shot on goal.

Thankfully it came off the post in a deflection but it was a near miss.

Team Sportacus management are seen respectfully asking Team Appeasement to stick to their own group and game to play to continue.

birdbandit · 19/06/2018 17:39

There seems to be someone invading the pitch, with a banner asking for Sportacus to be nice, use new words to describe the people who want them to burn in a fire.

It seems team Sportacus are a bit perplexed as to why they are being targeted by the banner, some are choosing to ignore and play on, and others appear to be offering a gin and a biscuit.

birdbandit · 19/06/2018 17:42

Sorry @AtreidesFreeWoman I didn't see, your post, your commentary was much better than mine!

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 17:44

Team Sportacus are unphased by the interruption and play continues.

PermissionToSpeakSir · 19/06/2018 17:46

The talented pundits are showing female socialisation and apologising where none was needed. Wink

AsAProfessionalFekko · 19/06/2018 17:47

Where is this being held? The Den?

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 17:48

@birdbandit

Grinwe are obviously just on the same train of thought!!!

Kettlepotblackagain · 19/06/2018 17:49

Another disruption...a streaker!

A woman - the type with a penis - at least we think so, it's a cold day, flies across the pitch, waving and cheering at the crowd! Moobs flapping in the wind, she is carried off by a Police person with a cervix.