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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A temporary cessation of hostilities

355 replies

ScarletBegonias · 19/06/2018 09:40

I know how serious all this is – but there may be no harm in a little light relief from time to time.

So - has anyone else found themselves watching the football and fantasising about a game between Trans Rights Activists (or whatever they’d like to call themselves) and … shall we say … a Mumsnet Team of Everyday Radical Feminists? (Or maybe a team called Spartacus?) After all, there was a temporary cessation of hostilities at Christmas 1914 during which English and German troops apparently played football with each other.

Here are some extracts from how the commentary might go:

“That was a dangerous run by Munroe Bergdorf, neatly blocked at the last minute by AngryAttackKittens.”

“Keeper Jane Fae has put the knitting down in the corner of the net as Datun steps up to take the penalty.”

“SwearyGodmother has been shown a yellow card for something she said to the referee.”

“Bowlofbabelfish, Spontaneousgiventime, and LangCleg are in the wall as Paris Lees gets ready to take the free kick.”

“We can see how important the preparation was, with R0wantrees briefing the team on the opposition’s tactics in previous matches.”

“The referee is running over to an incident involving the realposieparker and Lily Madigan.”

You can paint your own mental pictures of what the spectators might look like!

Okay. Back to reality.

OP posts:
Sciencelogic · 19/06/2018 22:07

I'm on a roll....Grin
Team TRA have announced they have ripped up the rule book, but it's OK, our Bewilders has the master copy of all the rules.

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 22:10

@CardsforKittens

Indeed - Miranda was man of the match.

Never have team TRA been so happy to not be the recipient of an award.

They have however issued a demand that MOTM should be banned and replaced with Person of Self Determined Gender of the Match.

This was then contested by a breakaway faction led by India who felt this did not reflect the now infamous Pinocchio accord who has now led calls for "I am a real man/woman of the match".

At which point both teams Queer and Non Binary have entered the fray claiming discrimination.

Team Sportacus had no comment to make having long since departed to the Blue Stocking for a gin piss up.

ItsNotUnusualToBe · 19/06/2018 22:10

In the fantasy league I drew the bottom finisher Confused

PlectrumElectrum · 19/06/2018 22:14

Thank you for this, a badly needed spark of the genius humour that I love so much here. Gin

BettyFloop · 19/06/2018 22:18

FWR rocks! Gin Wine Brew Cake

DJLippy · 19/06/2018 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ for repeating deleted message. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DJLippy · 19/06/2018 22:19

POST MATCH ANALYSIS

There is an appeal against the VR ref decisions, but it is confirmed that potential, imagined and fabricated fouls will be treated as actual fouls, depending on both the context and which team the individual referee supports and, in some cases, their mood on the day.

This has definitely been the group to watch in the playoffs.
Off the 4 teams in Group A of the Gender Games trying to make it to the last 16 Sportacus have been seen as the underdogs by the other 3; TRA, MRA and Mermaids.

Mermaids and MRA face each other off tomorrow but there's a general sense of apathy about the game with very little appetite for competition.

Mermaid's Manger, Susie has made clear she's generally unconcerned about the result and is saving her squad for the Sportacus match. She's not even proposing to utilise star striker MimmyMum in the MRA/TRA matches and has confined her to the TwitterSpa to get her in the best mindset for Sportucus match.

Its still unclear if the heavily anticipate Sportacus/Mermaids match will go ahead however, as official are still debating Susie's demands for the match to be played in Thailand, whilst Sportacus have launched a counter claim that many mermaids team members are under age and not eligible to play.

We contacted Susie for comment and got the following "there is no debate to be had. I've named my squad and the location. Frankly the game shouldn't be played at all. I've already decided it will be a 5-0 result and Sportacus are just bloody meanies who don't like football".
Sportacus PR have respond with an official eye roll and a a seemingly coded message of DFOD.

And here we are live in the TRA locker room where we are watching Jane as she Fae teaches Willoughby the knitting basics while Madigan asks Jones to get the coffees in, while flicking through a catalogue of nice prams and Bergdorf looks over their shoulder can't decide which ones look the most glamorous.

Back to the studio with news hot off the press. Whoever tops this group will face Saudi Arabia in the last 16. What a match that will be. I don't fancy Madigan's chances of getting through a match against those gals without breaking a nail.

Just a reminder to tune in tomorrow for coverage of the Group C matches where will will be watching team GCJ (gender critical jounos) vs team STHP (Spineless Try Hard Politicians).
Both teams are looking to field some strong players with team GCJ putting forwards Turner, Freeman and Kirkup on from start of play. It's a solid and experienced team of whom much is anticipated.

STHP have already announced star defenders Corbyn and Butler will be playing despite scoring a number of home goals in the pre-tournament friendlies with the forwards largely being pulled from the LibDem LGBTQXYZRDG academy (known for its particularly combative style of play).

The other match in this group is expected to less well contested with team YTL (YouTube Lesbians) captained by Peachy Yoghurt to dominate from the kick off over Riley Denis's YTGDM (YouTube Genitals Don't matter ) team.

Remember these two have clashed repeatedly, with Peachy always leading her team to a decisive victory.

West Yorks Police are out in force to support Mermaids with the Leeds constabulary also highly represented. Suzie sidles up to them and whispers in one's ear. He winks at her and taps his nose.
Parker is centre forward of Team Sportacus today. A contraversial choice, but she is looking confident and there's no denying her track record.

An interesting piece of trivia... Suzie and Mimmy from Team Mermaids have consulted with the stadium and all the associations prior to the match. A very successful and well-received presentation called 'Moving the Goalposts for Fair Play' - some really shocking and unsubstantiated statistics along with emotive pleas got everyone motivated to start making major changes straight away.
This should be our least triggering game so far.

MsMcWoodle · 19/06/2018 22:22

You're all bloody marvelous.

Sciencelogic · 19/06/2018 22:23

The dope testing team has intervened and is questioning members of all participants. There seems to be a problem identifying the urine samples. They are not correctly labelled, therefore not suitable for testing.

Sciencelogic · 19/06/2018 22:29

Nice work Lippy

DJLippy · 19/06/2018 22:30

Does anybody mind if I try to put an edited version of this out on blogs/social media?

It's so funny I think it could get some media coverage.

Either way, this should be saved for posterity...

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 22:31

I don't mind - great editing @DJLippy

spontaneousgiventime · 19/06/2018 22:33

Set yourself away DJ You can use any of my posts.

JuzzaL · 19/06/2018 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LangCleg · 19/06/2018 22:54

Jane Fae's knitting and the SPOFS (retrieved from Little Owen's gender neutral parents) are now on display at the National Football Museum to commemorate this unforgettable tournament.

(Inspired by Robbie Savage's hair - www.theguardian.com/uk-news/the-northerner/2014/aug/12/robbie-savages-hair-national-football-museum-manchester)

DJLippy · 19/06/2018 23:07

If anyone has a blog that they'd be happy to host a version of the final edit - please DM me and I'll send you a copy. I think this should be shared on as many blogs that will have us...

AngryAttackKittens · 19/06/2018 23:08

Wait, wait, we're picking something up from the corner of the field? What's that Faye is carrying onto the field? It's a lacrosse stick! Toff contingent, represent! Team TRA has filed a request that the game be switched to something more appropriate for girls. The Reddit team is looking confused as to why this would be considered validating, as lacrosse is generally not played by girls in their country. Two countries separated by a common language!

The request from the Canadian contingent that the game be moved to a hockey rink has been rejected on safety grounds.

Agerbilatemycardigan · 19/06/2018 23:14

The Team TRA supporters try to create a Mexican wave, but their blue hair lets them down a bit by making it look like the world's shittest tsunami.

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 23:15

@DJLippy

Is it worth posting about on the blog topics here to see if it gets picked up or is that a bit -ahem- controversial under the new rules?

AtreidesFreeWoman · 19/06/2018 23:17

It does need proofing though....quite a few typos mainly mine as I get carried away on my phone Blushother contributors seem to maintain their Grammarly decorum better than me!

thebewilderness · 19/06/2018 23:22

I posted it at trollbuster.

RaininSummer · 19/06/2018 23:47

Very funny thread. Just caught up. Hope we dont lose good posters though.

Sciencelogic · 19/06/2018 23:56

Hope to see you all in tomorrow's register Grin

Amalfimamma · 20/06/2018 00:09

heir blue hair lets them down a bit by making it look like the world's shittest tsunami.
🤣🤣🤣

djlippy oh please do share it far and wide,

We will need to wear wellies for a bit thought because all the melting snowflakes will floor us out!

Datun · 20/06/2018 00:32

HQ, you know this is a classic.

But if that's a bridge too far, how about filing it in the stationary cupboard? Hidden at the back of a filing cabinet, down the dark stairs, in the basement, with beware of the leopard written on the front? Just to be on the safe side. For posterity. And in the interest of truces everywhere.

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