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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Sweden: historical open-air bath removes sex barriers for "queer day" - women driven home by ogling men

92 replies

heresyandwitchcraft · 12/06/2018 18:09

Cross-post from Reddit.
ALL work courtesy of genuskritisk:

The Ribersborg open-air bath in Malmö dates back to the late 1800s and is a well-known institution in the city. Owned by the city, it is the biggest, most well-preserved and most visited open-air bath in the Nordic countries. Ribersborg, or "Kallis", is for nude swimming in the ocean, with separate areas for women and men, with separate showers, saunas, etc. Since a couple of years, there is also a mixed nude sauna in between the men's and women's areas, available to both men and women alike.

After a motion from local politicians Hanna Thomé (Left party) and Linda Hiltmann (Feminist intitiative), the city board decided to organise a monthly event called "Queer Kallis", with the separation between men and women taken out of effect for a day. In the politicans' motion, they wrote that a bath house with only two options for locker rooms "indirectly discriminates trans and intersex people". (SeeSydsvenskan May 19)

And so it were, from May, every first Monday of the month is dedicated to an event called Queer Kallis. From the bath house's web site:

On this day, the Ribersborg open-air bath is open to all - no matter your sex, body or identity. Our ambition is for Kallis to always be an inclusive and welcoming oasis in Malmö. Queer Kallis is a step in that direction.

Queer Kallis is for everyone, but especially to LGBTQ people. Non-binary and trans people who previously were unable to visit Kallis due to the strict gender separation in women's and men's areas are now able to do so. During these days, everyone can access the bath and visitors decide for themselves which area to swim or visit the sauna in.

On May 7, a woman in Malmö visited the bath house, unaware of the Queer Kallis event. Here's a (only briefly touched up) Google Translation from local newspaper Sydsvenskan's article about her complaint, from May 19:

Kit Ljung, from Malmö, baths often and gladly. She has half-yearly card at Ribersborg's cold bathhouse and went there - completely unaware of the Queer Kallis premiere.

"On the bridge I saw that one flag was exchanged for the rainbow flag and I saw a rug in the rainbow colors. I thought that was nice," she says.
"I am very careful to point out that I do not turn against LGBTQ people and I have both male and female homosexuals in my friend circle."

What she is criticizing is staring men. She encountered the first ones after getting dressed, in what is usually the ladies shower.

"His look was improperly placed on my body," Kit Ljung writes in a letter to several politicians, the head of the cold bathhouse and Malmö City's sports director.

"I was completely unprepared. It was very overwhelming," she says to Sydsvenskan.

The situation did not improve on the bathing bridges.

"Usually women in the women's department are moving naked, of course, but this day a lot of them wore clothes, towels or a sarong. For many women, the ladies' department in a cold bath house is a free zone from men who do not have healthy values," says Kit Ljung.

Wearing a sarong, she, for once, ventured into what is usually the men's area.

"There were very few people, probably only half compared to the women's side," says Kit Ljung. "I spoke to several women who were very upset.

In the letter, Kit Ljung wants the premiere of Queer Kallis to be the last instance of the event. She felt, among other things, stared at by a man who had previously bothered her and other women on the shores of Skåne [the county Malmö is in].

"It is obvious that he took the opportunity, like several other men who usually do not visit the bath house", writes Kit Ljung.

Hanna Thomé (Left party), one of the initiators behind Queer Kallis, regrets Kit Ljung's experience.

"Kit Ljung expresses the patriarchal world we live in. The problem is that some men can not behave themselves," says Hanna Thomé.

Thomé did participate in the Queer Kallis premiere. And she definitely wants to continue the venture.

"The wrong group would be punished if we shut down because some men can not take care. I met very happy transgender people who previously had not been able to visit to the bath at all," says Hanna Thomé.

"Hekajo will obviously work with security for next Queer Kallis," says Hanna Thomé.

Hekajo is the company that runs the bathhouse, on behalf of the municipality. The manager there is Jonas Rincon Dahlberg. He points out that rules of order were distributed, including a ban on "unwelcome staring".

"I think we had about 500 bathers this day. There is a very small share that has come with reactions like Kit Ljung's. I have seen a lot of positive posts in social media," he says.

The reporter asks: But Kit Ljung finds that several men went there to stare at naked women.

"It's the danger. That situation can occur. Just for that reason, everyone got a folder with code of conduct and rules, and in addition to our staff, there were volunteers in place," he says.”

Jeanette Larsson, a former policewoman, LGBTQ activist and lecturer in diversity issues, wrote a letter to the editor in Sydsvenskan this Friday June 8. Google Translated version (briefly corrected by me):

The basic idea is wrong. Women are discriminated by men taking over their space

The first Monday of the month, men can move freely inside the department that is otherwise "ladies", writes Jeanette Larsson.

Malmö Sauna Club announced on April 30th that "Now history is written in Ribersborg's cold bath!"

Yes, it certainly is.

The first Monday of each month nowadays, men can move freely inside the department that is otherwise "ladies". It takes place under the slogan "Queer Kallis", which is highlighted by elevated pride flags and a beautiful rug in all the colors of the rainbow at the entrance, as well as a brochure that states "there is zero tolerance to unwelcome looks".

Politicians and LGBTQ activists have certainly thought about and want to satisfy transgender rights and opportunities. I also want that and naively walked into the ladies' area on Monday.

Outside the sauna there are two benches where older ladies, the ones we call the "regulars", usually sit and talk about life. Some of them have two breasts, others one, some don't have breasts. There is no doubt that here they can relax and feel safe.

But on Monday, three men, legs widely apart, took up the entire bench while looking out over the bridges. An elderly woman with a walking aid looked scared and chose to go elsewhere. On the bridges women were scarce, but plenty of men walked back and forth.

Two young women beside me embarrassedly put on their bikinis. The woman on my other side looked around her, worried. She told me that she had been stalked by her ex for several years and now worried that he would come here, despite having a ban on visiting. It was quite possible just this day.

Then I could not be quiet anymore. I swept the towel around me and went to the staring men and asked why they chose to be on the women's side today? Are they queer? I also told them that I heard many women on the bridges express their discomfort and inform them of what I read in the brochure.

The young women in bikini and several others joined me and agreed. The men on the bench spread their legs even winder and became noticeably annoyed. "But we're allowed to be here today!" they say in a chorus.

I ask if they understand that they can be an obstacle even for the transgender who is primarily intended for this day and who may not feel comfortable at their glance? The men do not seem to understand the question.

Immediately two swim guards arrive, one in red sweater, one in black. They say us women makes for a "bad mood". We should "subdue" ourselves. Two of the men go into the sauna, the third is stubbornly left. Another man happily shouts "You gotta take the chance when you can!"

How did this happen? The argument that transgender can not go to Kallbadhuset without feeling uncomfortable has been resolved in a strange way. A better way is perhaps to try to fix an area of the bathhouse that is always reserved for transgender people.

The argument that the queer day only occurs once a month is strange. It is the basic idea that is wrong because women are discriminated against by men taking over their area.

"I do this for the LGBTQ community," writes Andi Johansson on the Sauna Club's website. Yes, he probably does, but unfortunately, the result has been that horny men abuse the trust. No lesson seems to have been taken by the #metoo movement. Now we women have to let men consider our bodies as objects also at Kallbadhuset.

There are men everywhere! Inside the toilets, in the stalls, in the sauna, in the showers, in the dressing room, along the road to the water, on the bathing stairs and above all, by the sidewalks back and forth along the bridges. Several women go home, angrily.

Once again I ask the swim guards if this really was the thought? Several women agree. Finally, the guards take a man and asks him to leave the area, as he does during wild protests.

From late afternoon, I happily notice that the first few transgender people have entered the "ladies" area. Some of them have male genitalia. No one seems to be disturbed by it.

But at the same time, I also see that the same men as before, now watch the same transgender people disapprovingly, shaking their heads.

I post a comment on Facebook that receives over 200 comments, few of which do not agree with me. I also write on Kallbadhusets Facebook page. There I get the answer that the day is for "A more open and tolerant society".

For whom, do I wonder.

On June 2, two representatives for the Queer Kallis initiative were interviewed in Sydsvenskan. The Queer Kallis event will continue. Google Translate version:

After the premiere of Queer Kallis, the organizers received criticism. Some women felt embarrassed by men. On Monday they will be open again. "It's nothing new, unfortunately, women experience it everywhere," said Chris Schenlaer, one of the people behind Queer Kallis.

After the premiere of Queer Kallis last month came criticism. Regular Kit Ljung told Sydsvenskan that she felt ogled at by men, saying that the arrangement was "a free ticket for men who want to stare at women and behave badly". Andi Malm and Chris Schenlaer have been in the work of Queer Kallis and were volunteers at the premiere. They have taken part in the criticism, but are pleased with the premiere at large.

"There were 500 guests and three who complained, I think that's a good measure. Some thought it was uncomfortable, and we thought that could happen. But that's nothing new, it unfortunately happens to women everywhere," said Chris Schenlaer.

"We are very well aware that heterosexual men can take the opportunity to ogle women. But that's something we just have to deal with. Not just heterosexual women but queer communities also expose themselves to the same risk of abuse," says Andi Malm. He is one of the initiators of gender neutral opening hours.

He received inspiration from Trans health, which holds similar events in Stockholm.

"I had a thought to create a space for transgender to swim and get the recovery needed. Even though we are talking about just trans and queer, the ultimate goal is that all people will feel good. Feel calm, socialize and enjoy the sun," says Andi Malm.

The political decision was taken in December 2016, meaning that the entrepreneur Hekajo, who runs Kallis on behalf of the municipality, must have gender neutral opening hours one day a month.

"We are looking forward to welcoming people who, as usual, may not feel welcome. We want to be an inclusive place for anyone who wants to visit us," says Jonas Rincon Dahlberg, partner in Hekajo.

He thinks it's a shame that some have not felt comfortable. At the same time, he points out that it is open as usual for the rest of the time.

"It's twelve days a year, and you have the opportunity to visit us all other days if you really do not want to be there when it's Queer Kallis."

Hekajo will continue to share the information leaflet that tells about the rules, and talk with visitors to make them feel comfortable.

"It's also about something new may be a bit unheard of for some. Then it will also drop when you have done it a few times," says Jonas Rincon Dahlberg.

After the premiere, an evaluation meeting with Hekajo and the project team was held. There the criticism was raised. Among other things, it was talked about being more clear about the set-up.

At the same time, the building looks as it does.

"Neither the critics nor we have any other solutions. We can not tear the wall and create a single big room. It's a strange situation where we have two rooms instead of one," says Andi Malm.”

Yesterday, the national tabloid Aftonbladet did a write-up about the case and talked to Jeanette Larsson, and other people.

"[The men] were in the showers, in the toilets, in the changing rooms, and on the bathing bridges. The place was invaded by men, not by transgender what I could see. It felt incredibly unpleasant everything. I did not know what it looked like on the men's side," says Jeanette Larsson.

Both her and others felt that they were stifled and objectified. Jeanette asked the guards if this was the way it was supposed to be - but got no response. Some of the women, according to Jeanette, chose to leave the bath because of the men.

"There were some transgender people, and then the men began to stare at and mock them."

Jeanette thinks it's wrong to call it Queer Kallis considering how the day is designed now, as it does not fulfill its purpose. She thinks it should be called "Mix-kallis".

"It should be noted that heterosexual men might show up to stare."

Or you can simply create a special area for those who identify themselves as queer, she believes.

"Where they can move freely every day of the year and not just twelve days."

She thinks that a risk and impact assessment should be done before the introduction of the day.

"Everyone should understand that there will be an open market for those who are only interested in looking at women's bodies."

OP posts:
loveyouradvice · 12/06/2018 18:42

well no surprises there.... great example of what happens in detail when Transgender trumps women's rights.....

And great solution too - always have a third space... why should the genderqueer only have 12 days a year? Until Men quit from ogling and commenting, neither women nor transgender will feel safe....

The problem is created by Men - not by women who I suspect are very tolerant of the genderqueer so long as they are women!

loveyouradvice · 12/06/2018 18:42

Last word should probably have read female rather than women.... with respect

AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 12/06/2018 18:44

Well. Duh.

Who knew?

mancheeze · 12/06/2018 18:54

What a surprise this is! Like, nobody could've EVER imagined that you give men an inch and they take a mile!

If this isn't the best argument for sex based spaces, along with the endless other stories of men behaving like animals towards women when you open up a women only space to them, I don't know what is!

SweetGrapes · 12/06/2018 18:56

But of course it never happens. Men take undue advantage of rules? Of course not!

AngryAttackKittens · 12/06/2018 19:02

So as usual the answer is that women will just have to put up with the men creeping on them, then?

Nope. We're not going to accept that any more.

NotMeOhNo · 12/06/2018 19:11

Woman does mean female loveyouradvice

It doesn't mean ladybrain. What does genderqueer mean in this context?

thebewilderness · 12/06/2018 19:20

If women don't like being harassed they can stay home is the price businesses are willing for women to pay so the business can claim to be creating "A more open and tolerant society".

kaitlinktm · 12/06/2018 20:07

There were 500 guests and three who complained, I think that's a good measure.

Loads of women would either have scurried back out again instead of using the facility - without daring to complain - or would have modified their behaviour by wearing sarongs/bikinis etc.

I can see the point about it only being 12 days a year - but it is a good indicator of what self ID might be like for women - and that would not be for just 12 days a year.

Picassospaintbrush · 12/06/2018 21:16

Well that's one for the this never happens crowd to digest isn't it?

I am particularly disgusted at the nonchalant way women are told, this is what men are like, you will get used to it.

Give the voyeurs a leaflet, yes, that will help.

heresyandwitchcraft · 12/06/2018 21:28

Yup, we've solved the problem of men staring at naked women, objectifying them and making them feel uncomfortable by the magic of leaflets! They must be VERY well-written...

Just thinking about the hundreds of comments on Facebook, the women who left in silence, the several women mentioned in these articles all having their concerns minimised really frustrates me.

The very fact that women even kicked up a fuss about this in super-liberal Sweden indicates that they must have felt upset.

Also, it's remarkable how dismissive people seem to be of women's same-sex spaces and concerns even in a country with an ostensibly "feminist government."

OP posts:
thebewilderness · 12/06/2018 21:31

There were 500 guests and three who complained, I think that's a good measure.

The measure is that for every complaint there are many silent and angry women who are going to tell their friends how unpleasant their experience was.
96% of unhappy customers don't complain, however 91% of those will simply leave and never come back – 1st Financial Training services. A dissatisfied customer will tell between 9-15 people about their experience. Around 13% of dissatisfied customers tell more than 20 people.

GibbertyFlibbert · 12/06/2018 21:44

"but it is a good indicator of what self ID might be like for women"

It is the exact opposite. As the write up makes clear, this isn't ideal for most trans people either. The more trans people you fully integrate into the status quo (ie trans women in with women) the fewer will campaign with the gender queer activists for outcomes like this. Conversely, if trans people are blocked their only alternative is to join gender queer campaigns.

thebewilderness · 12/06/2018 21:46

If you want to keep the males out you have to let the males in?
Srsly, you really are gibbering now.

Picassospaintbrush · 12/06/2018 21:50

There are three spaces, male, female and nixed. How was that not enough for queer people? They make it all queer, and it's still not enough for queer people.

Implacable, completely implacable.

ALittleAubergine · 12/06/2018 21:56

Would be good to know what the outcome would be if it was just self-id rather than totally mixed. There are less self identifying transwomen than there are men using that place I would think.

heresyandwitchcraft · 12/06/2018 22:02

The point is that self ID = anyone can say they are trans = no actual method of gatekeeping = unisex in practice

OP posts:
ChickenMe · 12/06/2018 22:02

What a fucking surprise

heresyandwitchcraft · 12/06/2018 22:04

Besides that, why can't females just have their own space?

OP posts:
AngryAttackKittens · 12/06/2018 22:06

Once again Gibbert appears to be viewing discussions as hostage negotiations. "Do what I say or X gets it!"

MrsWooster · 12/06/2018 22:10

That's the bit I don't undertand: there's male, female, mixed so why do tg people feel excluded from the normal set up? Why is the mixed area not appropriate / accessible for them? I know the argument that only access to female segregated spaces offers validation, which may be the 'logic' (and I use the word quite wrongly) in the case of, eg, trans women using the Hampstead pool, but, in the Malmo case, they removed this segregation. Bizarro world.

Picassospaintbrush · 12/06/2018 22:10

Once again Gibbert appears to be viewing discussions as hostage negotiations. "Do what I say or X gets it!"

Gibberty seems to be in a deep Stockholm syndrome state.

Ereshkigal · 12/06/2018 22:12

Yes it's like the "if what you advocate for results in blanket unisex provision, other feminists and I will be very cross" on another thread. When no one here is advocating for blanket unisex provision.

AngryAttackKittens · 12/06/2018 22:16

Gibb is an excellent example of the fact that in many cases the "helpers" are as much of a problem than the trans people they're trying to "help" themselves. Having decided on complete obedience and self-abasement themselves they're now determined to impose the same conditions on everyone else too.

GibbertyFlibbert · 12/06/2018 22:16

'Once again Gibbert appears to be viewing discussions as hostage negotiations. "Do what I say or X gets it!"'

Hardly. Trans people want to swim, use the gym etc. They (generally) would rather use the existing single sex spaces according to ID. If you de Y them that, then trans women will not use the male facility. In fact they are less likely to do so in my experience than most women because they have seen how bad men can be. So, they are only left with one alternative - days like the one in Sweden. That's not telling anyone what to do, I am just explaining the dynamic as I see it.