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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Sweden: historical open-air bath removes sex barriers for "queer day" - women driven home by ogling men

92 replies

heresyandwitchcraft · 12/06/2018 18:09

Cross-post from Reddit.
ALL work courtesy of genuskritisk:

The Ribersborg open-air bath in Malmö dates back to the late 1800s and is a well-known institution in the city. Owned by the city, it is the biggest, most well-preserved and most visited open-air bath in the Nordic countries. Ribersborg, or "Kallis", is for nude swimming in the ocean, with separate areas for women and men, with separate showers, saunas, etc. Since a couple of years, there is also a mixed nude sauna in between the men's and women's areas, available to both men and women alike.

After a motion from local politicians Hanna Thomé (Left party) and Linda Hiltmann (Feminist intitiative), the city board decided to organise a monthly event called "Queer Kallis", with the separation between men and women taken out of effect for a day. In the politicans' motion, they wrote that a bath house with only two options for locker rooms "indirectly discriminates trans and intersex people". (SeeSydsvenskan May 19)

And so it were, from May, every first Monday of the month is dedicated to an event called Queer Kallis. From the bath house's web site:

On this day, the Ribersborg open-air bath is open to all - no matter your sex, body or identity. Our ambition is for Kallis to always be an inclusive and welcoming oasis in Malmö. Queer Kallis is a step in that direction.

Queer Kallis is for everyone, but especially to LGBTQ people. Non-binary and trans people who previously were unable to visit Kallis due to the strict gender separation in women's and men's areas are now able to do so. During these days, everyone can access the bath and visitors decide for themselves which area to swim or visit the sauna in.

On May 7, a woman in Malmö visited the bath house, unaware of the Queer Kallis event. Here's a (only briefly touched up) Google Translation from local newspaper Sydsvenskan's article about her complaint, from May 19:

Kit Ljung, from Malmö, baths often and gladly. She has half-yearly card at Ribersborg's cold bathhouse and went there - completely unaware of the Queer Kallis premiere.

"On the bridge I saw that one flag was exchanged for the rainbow flag and I saw a rug in the rainbow colors. I thought that was nice," she says.
"I am very careful to point out that I do not turn against LGBTQ people and I have both male and female homosexuals in my friend circle."

What she is criticizing is staring men. She encountered the first ones after getting dressed, in what is usually the ladies shower.

"His look was improperly placed on my body," Kit Ljung writes in a letter to several politicians, the head of the cold bathhouse and Malmö City's sports director.

"I was completely unprepared. It was very overwhelming," she says to Sydsvenskan.

The situation did not improve on the bathing bridges.

"Usually women in the women's department are moving naked, of course, but this day a lot of them wore clothes, towels or a sarong. For many women, the ladies' department in a cold bath house is a free zone from men who do not have healthy values," says Kit Ljung.

Wearing a sarong, she, for once, ventured into what is usually the men's area.

"There were very few people, probably only half compared to the women's side," says Kit Ljung. "I spoke to several women who were very upset.

In the letter, Kit Ljung wants the premiere of Queer Kallis to be the last instance of the event. She felt, among other things, stared at by a man who had previously bothered her and other women on the shores of Skåne [the county Malmö is in].

"It is obvious that he took the opportunity, like several other men who usually do not visit the bath house", writes Kit Ljung.

Hanna Thomé (Left party), one of the initiators behind Queer Kallis, regrets Kit Ljung's experience.

"Kit Ljung expresses the patriarchal world we live in. The problem is that some men can not behave themselves," says Hanna Thomé.

Thomé did participate in the Queer Kallis premiere. And she definitely wants to continue the venture.

"The wrong group would be punished if we shut down because some men can not take care. I met very happy transgender people who previously had not been able to visit to the bath at all," says Hanna Thomé.

"Hekajo will obviously work with security for next Queer Kallis," says Hanna Thomé.

Hekajo is the company that runs the bathhouse, on behalf of the municipality. The manager there is Jonas Rincon Dahlberg. He points out that rules of order were distributed, including a ban on "unwelcome staring".

"I think we had about 500 bathers this day. There is a very small share that has come with reactions like Kit Ljung's. I have seen a lot of positive posts in social media," he says.

The reporter asks: But Kit Ljung finds that several men went there to stare at naked women.

"It's the danger. That situation can occur. Just for that reason, everyone got a folder with code of conduct and rules, and in addition to our staff, there were volunteers in place," he says.”

Jeanette Larsson, a former policewoman, LGBTQ activist and lecturer in diversity issues, wrote a letter to the editor in Sydsvenskan this Friday June 8. Google Translated version (briefly corrected by me):

The basic idea is wrong. Women are discriminated by men taking over their space

The first Monday of the month, men can move freely inside the department that is otherwise "ladies", writes Jeanette Larsson.

Malmö Sauna Club announced on April 30th that "Now history is written in Ribersborg's cold bath!"

Yes, it certainly is.

The first Monday of each month nowadays, men can move freely inside the department that is otherwise "ladies". It takes place under the slogan "Queer Kallis", which is highlighted by elevated pride flags and a beautiful rug in all the colors of the rainbow at the entrance, as well as a brochure that states "there is zero tolerance to unwelcome looks".

Politicians and LGBTQ activists have certainly thought about and want to satisfy transgender rights and opportunities. I also want that and naively walked into the ladies' area on Monday.

Outside the sauna there are two benches where older ladies, the ones we call the "regulars", usually sit and talk about life. Some of them have two breasts, others one, some don't have breasts. There is no doubt that here they can relax and feel safe.

But on Monday, three men, legs widely apart, took up the entire bench while looking out over the bridges. An elderly woman with a walking aid looked scared and chose to go elsewhere. On the bridges women were scarce, but plenty of men walked back and forth.

Two young women beside me embarrassedly put on their bikinis. The woman on my other side looked around her, worried. She told me that she had been stalked by her ex for several years and now worried that he would come here, despite having a ban on visiting. It was quite possible just this day.

Then I could not be quiet anymore. I swept the towel around me and went to the staring men and asked why they chose to be on the women's side today? Are they queer? I also told them that I heard many women on the bridges express their discomfort and inform them of what I read in the brochure.

The young women in bikini and several others joined me and agreed. The men on the bench spread their legs even winder and became noticeably annoyed. "But we're allowed to be here today!" they say in a chorus.

I ask if they understand that they can be an obstacle even for the transgender who is primarily intended for this day and who may not feel comfortable at their glance? The men do not seem to understand the question.

Immediately two swim guards arrive, one in red sweater, one in black. They say us women makes for a "bad mood". We should "subdue" ourselves. Two of the men go into the sauna, the third is stubbornly left. Another man happily shouts "You gotta take the chance when you can!"

How did this happen? The argument that transgender can not go to Kallbadhuset without feeling uncomfortable has been resolved in a strange way. A better way is perhaps to try to fix an area of the bathhouse that is always reserved for transgender people.

The argument that the queer day only occurs once a month is strange. It is the basic idea that is wrong because women are discriminated against by men taking over their area.

"I do this for the LGBTQ community," writes Andi Johansson on the Sauna Club's website. Yes, he probably does, but unfortunately, the result has been that horny men abuse the trust. No lesson seems to have been taken by the #metoo movement. Now we women have to let men consider our bodies as objects also at Kallbadhuset.

There are men everywhere! Inside the toilets, in the stalls, in the sauna, in the showers, in the dressing room, along the road to the water, on the bathing stairs and above all, by the sidewalks back and forth along the bridges. Several women go home, angrily.

Once again I ask the swim guards if this really was the thought? Several women agree. Finally, the guards take a man and asks him to leave the area, as he does during wild protests.

From late afternoon, I happily notice that the first few transgender people have entered the "ladies" area. Some of them have male genitalia. No one seems to be disturbed by it.

But at the same time, I also see that the same men as before, now watch the same transgender people disapprovingly, shaking their heads.

I post a comment on Facebook that receives over 200 comments, few of which do not agree with me. I also write on Kallbadhusets Facebook page. There I get the answer that the day is for "A more open and tolerant society".

For whom, do I wonder.

On June 2, two representatives for the Queer Kallis initiative were interviewed in Sydsvenskan. The Queer Kallis event will continue. Google Translate version:

After the premiere of Queer Kallis, the organizers received criticism. Some women felt embarrassed by men. On Monday they will be open again. "It's nothing new, unfortunately, women experience it everywhere," said Chris Schenlaer, one of the people behind Queer Kallis.

After the premiere of Queer Kallis last month came criticism. Regular Kit Ljung told Sydsvenskan that she felt ogled at by men, saying that the arrangement was "a free ticket for men who want to stare at women and behave badly". Andi Malm and Chris Schenlaer have been in the work of Queer Kallis and were volunteers at the premiere. They have taken part in the criticism, but are pleased with the premiere at large.

"There were 500 guests and three who complained, I think that's a good measure. Some thought it was uncomfortable, and we thought that could happen. But that's nothing new, it unfortunately happens to women everywhere," said Chris Schenlaer.

"We are very well aware that heterosexual men can take the opportunity to ogle women. But that's something we just have to deal with. Not just heterosexual women but queer communities also expose themselves to the same risk of abuse," says Andi Malm. He is one of the initiators of gender neutral opening hours.

He received inspiration from Trans health, which holds similar events in Stockholm.

"I had a thought to create a space for transgender to swim and get the recovery needed. Even though we are talking about just trans and queer, the ultimate goal is that all people will feel good. Feel calm, socialize and enjoy the sun," says Andi Malm.

The political decision was taken in December 2016, meaning that the entrepreneur Hekajo, who runs Kallis on behalf of the municipality, must have gender neutral opening hours one day a month.

"We are looking forward to welcoming people who, as usual, may not feel welcome. We want to be an inclusive place for anyone who wants to visit us," says Jonas Rincon Dahlberg, partner in Hekajo.

He thinks it's a shame that some have not felt comfortable. At the same time, he points out that it is open as usual for the rest of the time.

"It's twelve days a year, and you have the opportunity to visit us all other days if you really do not want to be there when it's Queer Kallis."

Hekajo will continue to share the information leaflet that tells about the rules, and talk with visitors to make them feel comfortable.

"It's also about something new may be a bit unheard of for some. Then it will also drop when you have done it a few times," says Jonas Rincon Dahlberg.

After the premiere, an evaluation meeting with Hekajo and the project team was held. There the criticism was raised. Among other things, it was talked about being more clear about the set-up.

At the same time, the building looks as it does.

"Neither the critics nor we have any other solutions. We can not tear the wall and create a single big room. It's a strange situation where we have two rooms instead of one," says Andi Malm.”

Yesterday, the national tabloid Aftonbladet did a write-up about the case and talked to Jeanette Larsson, and other people.

"[The men] were in the showers, in the toilets, in the changing rooms, and on the bathing bridges. The place was invaded by men, not by transgender what I could see. It felt incredibly unpleasant everything. I did not know what it looked like on the men's side," says Jeanette Larsson.

Both her and others felt that they were stifled and objectified. Jeanette asked the guards if this was the way it was supposed to be - but got no response. Some of the women, according to Jeanette, chose to leave the bath because of the men.

"There were some transgender people, and then the men began to stare at and mock them."

Jeanette thinks it's wrong to call it Queer Kallis considering how the day is designed now, as it does not fulfill its purpose. She thinks it should be called "Mix-kallis".

"It should be noted that heterosexual men might show up to stare."

Or you can simply create a special area for those who identify themselves as queer, she believes.

"Where they can move freely every day of the year and not just twelve days."

She thinks that a risk and impact assessment should be done before the introduction of the day.

"Everyone should understand that there will be an open market for those who are only interested in looking at women's bodies."

OP posts:
Racecardriver · 13/06/2018 09:25

*queer

SuitedandBooted · 13/06/2018 13:01

I think trans women are perfectly happy using the women's pool.

Of course you do. It's all about the (wo)men, isn't it?

Sweden: historical open-air bath removes sex barriers for "queer day" - women driven home by ogling men
WTFagain · 01/09/2018 21:28

It'll be just perfect for trans women and men.

Not so much for women. Who would choose to go swimming on a day where you'd be viewed as a piece of meat?

I grew up going to all-women saunas. Large, small, old, young - women and their unedited bodies relaxing together, yet privately, without feeling the need to be on guard.

All this will be destroyed by allowing men in - the pretext is irrelevant.

IdaBWells · 30/09/2018 16:36

In this cartoon suitedandbooted who is David Lewis (? Is that what it says) they refer to?

Popchyk · 30/09/2018 16:43

David Lewis is a Labour party member who applied to be Women's Officer of his CLP. He said he identifies as a woman on Wednesdays only and is a man the rest of the time.

He did it in order to call attention to the LP's policy of allowing any man to self-identify as a woman and take roles reserved for women in the Labour Party.

Labour very swiftly suspended him.

PineappleSunrise · 30/09/2018 17:47

I think we can work out why men's spaces are not being opened to TG folks.

It's because men would be uncomfortable. And when men are uncomfortable, they might get angry, or violent, or start shouting. They might even attack someone.

When women are uncomfortable, they are less likely to be violent. Hence, it's okay to run over their discomfort in a way that you'd not consider running over a man's.

Of course, if you really wanted a freer society for GNC people you'd go straight after het male discomfort and police the hell out of it. It might not be as quick and seemingly cheap, but it would be a hell of a lot longer lasting.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 15/10/2021 09:37

There are three spaces, male, female and nixed. How was that not enough for queer people? They make it all queer, and it's still not enough for queer people. Implacable, completely implacable.

Exactly, Picassospaintbrush.

EdgeOfACoin · 15/10/2021 09:46

I see this thread is from 2018.

My only comment is that I thought we were always being told that in Sweden, Norway and Finland everyone always gets naked with each other in mixed-sex spaces. It's only we uptight anglophones who have problems getting naked in front of the opposite sex.

Looks to me as though this isn't always the case, which ties in with my own (admittedly limited) experiences in Scandinavia.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/10/2021 10:11

So all of those female-bodied non-binary, genderqueer, agendered, bi-gendered, lesbian and queer folks were not really welcome on their own terms (and it sounds like many trans people were not either) because male-bodied folks (and who knows what other labels they attached to themselves) took the opportunity to behave like typical men in a patriarchal society where women's bodies (female bodies) are objectified, pornified and considered the property of men.

Nothing new to see here folks!

Beamur · 15/10/2021 10:18

I think this incident was referenced in a recent thread, hence it's resurrection.

IntermittentParps · 15/10/2021 10:34

Seems to me that adding mixed swimming and showers, open to all, would be the obvious solution.
Or am I not understanding and would that not work? Genuine question; I'd love to hear from some trans people on this.

nauticant · 15/10/2021 10:45

we were always being told that in Sweden, Norway and Finland everyone always gets naked with each other in mixed-sex spaces

You'll find that this tends to apply to both sexes in family groups or in long-established groups of friends, often who have grown up together.

MarshmallowSwede · 15/10/2021 11:00

There is always this false belief that Swedish are all around naked men and women together. We don’t usually do sauna together. No women in Sweden want this. We want our own separate spaces and I don’t understand why if there was already a unisex space, then why this was even needed.

This is the major problem of self ID. Men will and do take advantage of this… why because they are men! If they have a change to see naked women then of course they will take it.

Unisex only gives men an opportunity to see women and act as predators. Of course if you give them an opportunity they will take it.

Does a wolf stop being a wolf just because you put it in a building? No.. a wolf is always a predator in the forest or in a building!

And they use “queer days” as a way to get away with this. So now men are happily taking the opportunity to harass and see women naked and make women uncomfortable.

I’m really sick of this.

Jaysmith71 · 15/10/2021 11:02

@nauticant

we were always being told that in Sweden, Norway and Finland everyone always gets naked with each other in mixed-sex spaces

You'll find that this tends to apply to both sexes in family groups or in long-established groups of friends, often who have grown up together.

Yes. Sauna culture is among family and friends.

And Swedes can be very officious and bossy when it comes to policing the unwritten social rules in public spaces.

MarshmallowSwede · 15/10/2021 11:04

We usually take sauna women and children first.. then the men go in together last. The only man I do sauna naked with is my husband.

Some families take sauna naked together. But not random men. I did unisex sauna in Germany.. I was uncomfortable because there were groups of young men who were obviously there just to ogle women.

I personally prefer doing sauna with only women. I just don’t feel I can relax if there are men around and I am naked. Maybe that’s just me.

MarshmallowSwede · 15/10/2021 11:09

Any time you give a permission for men to go where women are naked and vulnerable, then it will creat a lot of problems.

And just because many women did not complain while there… believe me they complained at home and will likely never go again.

As someone mentioned before, we do like to follow and adhere to social rules and so seeing that the respect of women is not respected at this sauna, the women will just likely go elsewhere.

What these business are saying is that they don’t want money from women. So listen to them and just go elsewhere. My grandfather said the best way to make a business understand your complaint is to stop giving them your money.

334bu · 15/10/2021 11:11

I just don’t feel I can relax if there are men around and I am naked. Maybe that’s just me

I think you will find that that is almost every woman..

EdgeOfACoin · 15/10/2021 11:15

MarshmallowSwede and Jaysmith71 that makes far more sense than random strangers having naked saunas together (and corresponds with what little I know about Finnish culture too).

But certainly I have been embroiled in arguments where the 'gotcha' has always been 'men and women in Scandinavia and similar places have always got naked together and British women just need to get over their hang-ups'.

It's good to know the reality!

MarshmallowSwede · 15/10/2021 11:37

@EdgeOfACoin

I hear this a lot and I don’t know where people get this. We are very open minded people.. to a point. Do what you want as long as you’re respecting the rules and not hurting anyone. However, you shouldn’t disrupt the public. We are definitely not frolicking naked together and I don’t know any Swedish woman who is running the streets topless or getting naked in sauna with men they don’t know. You can tell the British man that said this to you that the 1970s Swedish pornography film they saw is not real life and we don’t actually live this way. 😂

This is why self ID and doing this like this sauna is problematic. It’s really disruptive to most people. Of course men love it. But no one is excited about a strange man in the sauna while you are naked.

Let’s remember that self ID is really again something that only benefits men. It’s not for women who even want to be men. It was and has always been for the benefit of men. Either to have access to women spaces or to gain some perceived right that they feel entitled to.

EdgeOfACoin · 15/10/2021 11:39

You can tell the British man that said this to you that the 1970s Swedish pornography film they saw is not real life and we don’t actually live this way

GrinGrinGrin

LemonSwan · 15/10/2021 11:52

I was going to say it sounds a right mess. But I dont have an issue with one day a MONTH for trans people. Thats hardly a lot.

But then someone brings a good point.. there's male, female, mixed so why do tg people feel excluded from the normal set up? Why is the mixed area not appropriate / accessible for them?

Is it that their is no individual/ transgender change facilities?

IntermittentParps · 15/10/2021 12:18

@334bu

I just don’t feel I can relax if there are men around and I am naked. Maybe that’s just me

I think you will find that that is almost every woman..

I am old enough and ugly enough to be perfectly happy to be naked with men I don't know in sauna/swimming etc type situations. I am aware that I might not be the majority. But I'm not sure 'almost every woman' wants single-sex spaces. But anyway, they absolutely must exist, for all those women who don't feel as I do.
MrGHardy · 15/10/2021 21:25

a monthly event called "Queer Kallis", with the separation between men and women taken out of effect for a day

What does this even have to do with queer?

334bu · 15/10/2021 22:05

But I'm not sure 'almost every woman' wants single-sex spaces.

Really?? I wouldn't take a bet on that if I were you.

LobsterNapkin · 15/10/2021 22:10

@LemonSwan

I was going to say it sounds a right mess. But I dont have an issue with one day a MONTH for trans people. Thats hardly a lot.

But then someone brings a good point.. there's male, female, mixed so why do tg people feel excluded from the normal set up? Why is the mixed area not appropriate / accessible for them?

Is it that their is no individual/ transgender change facilities?

A day a month, or twice a month, an evening a week. Any of this might be fine but it needs to be run in a way that actually serves the people it was intended to serve.