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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Woman gets written up by HR for having menstrual products in her car

108 replies

AngryAttackKittens · 14/05/2018 09:19

Turns out that the coworker who complained was a transwoman. The complaining part is sadly not a surprise, since we already know that some transwomen think women are being female at them out of spite, but the fact that HR actually took the complaint seriously and wrote the letter writer up for having personal care items in a bag in her car rather than explaining to the complainer that the complaint was unreasonable is not exactly a great sign in terms of how workplaces are handling complaints relating to trans issues.

www.askamanager.org/2018/04/i-got-in-trouble-because-my-coworker-saw-maxi-pads-in-my-car-and-more.html

OP posts:
MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 14/05/2018 12:02

@Juells - we've just reinstated your post. Really sorry - we aren't sure what happened there! It was very near another one that got deleted. Might have been one of us having a fat fingers moment. Apologies!

MipMipMip · 14/05/2018 12:08

The writer did not reveal the trans element until the third communication with the blogger (original letter than short exchange between them - what the blogger described as second PS). It was not in the published letter and was not mentioned at all until the blogger answered a question on the gender of the complainant and manager/HR. I do not see any way this could have been a set up.

To me the trans element is a red herring (other than the complaint appears to have been given extra weight because of it. But I'm guessing - it could be that HR would have done this for anyone). It does demonstrate very well the ridiculous way women and their biology are treated in the world. It would almost be better if nothing about the complainant had been revealed to just show how misogynistic the world is.

phlewf · 14/05/2018 12:12

I clicked assuming this would be about used menstrual products, perhaps in an emergency/flood/leaked kind of way and an observer being shocked. Not actually just a packet. Blokes in my family haven’t had a problem with it but I know a few people who keep them hidden like heroin in the house lest their husbands see them.
It’s a weird old world out there.

ErrolTheDragon · 14/05/2018 12:41

Is this a US site? Are these things more sensitive there?

I'd have thought so. The silver lining of the 'tampon tax' is that it's normalised the discussion of them in the U.K. - e.g George Osborne cheerfully talking about them in the House of Commons in one of his budgets.

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 14/05/2018 12:49

Oh ffs. Assuming this is true:

Why is the person snooping in someone else's car not written up for looking at someone else's property? That would have as much merit (i.e. none)

I'd be inclined to have inadequate sanitary protection for my next period and bleed all over the office chairs (but you told me I couldn't keep emergency pads in my car and I was taken by surprise.......). It's normal biology for women. About time men realised this.

spontaneousgiventime · 14/05/2018 12:55

I was at my DD house yesterday, she had sanitary protection in the living room to take upstairs as she had been shopping early morning. I used to keep supplies all over the place when myself and my DD needed them. I'm glad no 'oh my God' TIM came into my house then or my DD yesterday, our names would have been mud in the twittersphere.

averylongtimeasSpartacus · 14/05/2018 13:46

Who on earth is offended by a packet of pads or tampons?!

Half the human race uses them, what on earth is the problem?
How do they go shopping when there are racks of the things, or even watch tv, they must have to switch off every advert.

I'm not sure which would be more shocking tbh, that a trans person was offended or a woman- just why?

Juells · 14/05/2018 13:55

I'll admit to getting a bit of a shock when I saw a fb update from my daughter saying "Feeling a bit periody :( " as she has hundreds of fb friends, but ultimately gave myself a kicking and got a grip.

I can imagine that if a man made a ridiculous complaint like this that a HR department would humour him, rolling eyes behind his back, but still find it hard to believe they'd write up a complaint. The whole shock horror "and all the time it was duhduhduhhhhh A TRANSWOMAN" has been dripfed.

@HebeMumsnet (MNHQ) Thanks! Smile

thebewilderness · 14/05/2018 17:15

6th rule of misogyny: Women who go around being female AT men by menstruating and breast feeding babies deserve punishment.

Kyanite · 14/05/2018 17:31

Why couldn't this situation happen? We have seen organisations bend over backwards to be pro-trans. A transwomen could be that sensitive since they want to be believed to be women and saying that they are not biological women is regarded as transphobic. It was probably easier to make it the woman's fault than tell someone so unstable to just deal with it.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 14/05/2018 17:42

It makes no sense.
I'mnot sure what "offence" the pad buyer has committed in the privacy of her onw car

thebewilderness · 14/05/2018 20:15

It is the disbelief that astonishes me.
In a country where women are interviewed under caution by the police when reported for transphobia on twitter,
and the political parties are purging women who express their opinion on women's rights,

people think a woman being disciplined by employers at the behest of a transgender identified male is fake news?
Have you been paying attention?

Ereshkigal · 14/05/2018 20:35

I once read an everyday Feminism article where it was considered transphobic to have a photo of your children at your desk.

freezerfoodyum · 14/05/2018 20:35

I'm quite aware of all that bewilder, but there is something about this particular story which does not ring true for me.

freezerfoodyum · 14/05/2018 20:35

Everydayfeminism are beyond batshit these days.

Juells · 14/05/2018 21:21

@thebewilderness
people think a woman being disciplined by employers at the behest of a transgender identified male is fake news?

In this case, yes. What would the disciplinary note say? "You were seen to have a packet of MaxiPads in your shopping in your car."

Can you think of a way it could have been worded? Wouldn't you be going to a tribunal immediately if you were the woman in question? Or a lawyer, since it's in the US?

thebewilderness · 14/05/2018 21:37

In Canada they would cite the rule that was violated by the woman who was disrespectful of her coworkers beliefs and thereby creating a hostile work environment.
Hostile work environment would be the cite in the US as well.

It is simply a way to harass women with the assistance of authorities like employers and the police. They could file a grievance or appeal through whatever process was available, if there is one.
Like most harassment of women in the workplace it is an obedience training exercise.

LaSqrrl · 14/05/2018 22:31

My view is in line with Kyanite's
Why couldn't this situation happen? We have seen organisations bend over backwards to be pro-trans.

Of course, it is thebewilderness' 6th rule of misogyny
And I think it lends more credibility that the TW thing was not mentioned until later. Why would the letter-writer would have, having sucked up the 'transwomen are women' thing?

Did anyone notice the link at the bottom of those five letters?

thebewilderness · 14/05/2018 22:37

The business was faced with a choice of disciplining the employee or being charged with creating a hostile work environment themselves. As frequently happens they chose to save themselves the hassle by disciplining the employee.
Easy enough to remove the letter from the employees file if they challenge it.

LassWiADelicateAir · 14/05/2018 22:44

It’s weird that your company is hiring 11-year-old boys into management positions. Was it bring-your-kid-to-work day and then they forgot to tell him to leave, and someone accidentally moved him into a real job?

Love that reply. As I said on the unisex toilets thread I used to keep sanitary products on open display on a bookshelf- not at eye level, but not hidden. The 3 male partners I worked with either never noticed or cared.

Re this story don't most work places have (usually out of order) vending machines in the loo anyway?

MipMipMip · 14/05/2018 22:51

Which kink sqrrl? It seems to change every time I open the page.

LassWiADelicateAir · 14/05/2018 23:07

Which link sqrrl? It seems to change every time I open the page.

It opened to a very long series of very sensible replies saying there was nothing wrong in keeping a box of tampons on a work shelf (apart from one idiot who kept comparing them to condoms)

Pratchet · 14/05/2018 23:37

I would find this believable tbh. The complaint and the handling of it. People who scoff obviously haven't seen lesbians told to leave lesbian groups by trans mods because they don't think TW have periods like women do.

Pratchet · 14/05/2018 23:39

The whole world is transphobic because men ain't women and never will be, and some of them need to take out their rage about this on all women. Womb envy.

Ereshkigal · 14/05/2018 23:43

I love the way you edited LaSqrrl's typo in your quote Lass Grin and some of the comments were batshit.