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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Woman gets written up by HR for having menstrual products in her car

108 replies

AngryAttackKittens · 14/05/2018 09:19

Turns out that the coworker who complained was a transwoman. The complaining part is sadly not a surprise, since we already know that some transwomen think women are being female at them out of spite, but the fact that HR actually took the complaint seriously and wrote the letter writer up for having personal care items in a bag in her car rather than explaining to the complainer that the complaint was unreasonable is not exactly a great sign in terms of how workplaces are handling complaints relating to trans issues.

www.askamanager.org/2018/04/i-got-in-trouble-because-my-coworker-saw-maxi-pads-in-my-car-and-more.html

OP posts:
YetAnotherSpartacus · 14/05/2018 10:24

What is interesting about it is that in the initial letter nothing is mentioned re trans. The OP left this out. It was only later that the blogger mentioned trans (as per subsequent and private conversation). So, if it was a set up, it wasn't set up by the OP but my the blogger (who is otherwise reputable - why would she do this)?

LangCleg · 14/05/2018 10:25

I don't understand why everyone is smelling a rat? Or at least a trans rat (as it were) rather than a general rat?

The original post doesn't mention trans. The blog owner appears to have deliberately omitted this in the post. It only comes to light buried deep in the comments because someone directly asks if the complainant is a man. Then everything goes kablowey as it always does as soon as the word trans gets a mention.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 14/05/2018 10:27

Remember when a woman couldn't get co-workers to take down girlie calendars - which really were pretty offensive? HE would have wet themselves laughing if you'd complained.

yetanothertranswoman · 14/05/2018 10:28

Wait, yet, are you saying that you think the by all indications pretty pro-trans blogger made this up for unspecified nefarious purposes

I am suggesting that anyone could write in a letter that seems outrageous, get it published and then the letter writer reveals it's about trans,

Juells · 14/05/2018 10:37

I haven't posted anything to this thread apart from saying I didn't believe the original letter was real, and I've had a post removed :( :( :( Don't know what I could have said that offended the Talk Guidelines. :(

Original poster
AngryAttackKittens · 14/05/2018 10:40

OK this thread has officially gone weird. I was annoyed that you were coming across as if the "this is nonsense" was directed at me, Juells, but didn't and wouldn't report you, so don't look at me, not my fault.

OP posts:
Juells · 14/05/2018 10:43

Oh no, wasn't directed at you, one of my favourite posters 😘 If that's what my post said (I can't remember) it was directed at the letter writer and the blog for publishing it.

Original poster
AngryAttackKittens · 14/05/2018 10:45

Ah OK, crossed wires then! Obviously the comment with the slur in it was going to be deleted, but I'm as baffled as you are by the others.

Thread has gremlins.

OP posts:
Tinlegs · 14/05/2018 10:49

Can I ask if you think there would be a difference if the car / vehicle was a works vehicle or if it was the woman's (mensutrating one, obviously) own car. I am TerfyMcTerfFace but wonder if some companies (disclaimer I am guessing here) might have a policy about displaying personal items in a works vehicle.

TERFragetteCity · 14/05/2018 10:51

I've had company cars for years - and there has never been a policy that I've ever seen about content in the cars apart from not being allowed to smoke in it, and keeping IT in the boot.

KendalMintCakey · 14/05/2018 10:51

That is gender discrimination (writing up over the pads) & in England is illegal. AngryAttackKittens I love the tweet. It rocks... or pads lol

AnotherQuoll · 14/05/2018 10:51

Tbh I was expecting the complaint to be from a male. [Women who buy 'personal hygiene' products don't tend to get the vapours over seeing packets of menstrual pads, tampons, toilet paper, nappies, or whatever.] I just didn't know if the male wore a suit or not.

Yes, I believe it. Because plenty of male people do think female body functions and products that deal with them, should be hidden from their sight. I don't care how the complainant was dressed.

Tinlegs · 14/05/2018 10:52

Is this a US site? Are these things more sensitive there?

BerkInBag · 14/05/2018 10:53

I saw that on Reddit a while ago and thought it was a bit dubious. This however ...

<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8bjk8b/in_which_a_pakistani_woman_is_ganged_up_on_by" target="_blank">http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8bjk8b/in<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8bjk8b/in_which_a_pakistani_woman_is_ganged_up_on_by" target="_blank">whichh<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8bjk8b/in_which_a_pakistani_woman_is_ganged_up_on_by" target="_blank">a<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8bjk8b/in_which_a_pakistani_woman_is_ganged_up_on_by" target="_blank">pakistanii<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8bjk8b/in_which_a_pakistani_woman_is_ganged_up_on_by" target="_blank">woman<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8bjk8b/in_which_a_pakistani_woman_is_ganged_up_on_by" target="_blank">iss<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8bjk8b/in_which_a_pakistani_woman_is_ganged_up_on_by" target="_blank">ganged<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8bjk8b/in_which_a_pakistani_woman_is_ganged_up_on_by" target="_blank">upp<a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8bjk8b/in_which_a_pakistani_woman_is_ganged_up_on_by" target="_blank">on_by/

crunchymint · 14/05/2018 10:54

I am amazed that a few people on this thread don't think it is normal behaviour to leave sanitary towels in the car where others can see them. It is perfectly normal. My 80 and 90 year old relatives might not agree, but things have moved on since then. And I wouldn't think twice about doing this.

angryburd · 14/05/2018 10:56

And then the tampons clapped.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/05/2018 11:19

Exactly crunchy. As I said, I sometimes leave mine in full view if I’ve bought them and not bought a bag from the local coop and forgotten my reusable one. Or I may just leave some on the front passenger seat anyway for spares. I used to hide them but I’m too long in the tooth these days.

WrongOnTheInternet · 14/05/2018 11:22

As an aside, do trans women really get that het up about periods? Are they genuinely jealous of having to deal with bleeds and (potentially) associated pain every month?

I've already peak transed, but goodness, if they want it believe me I and probably half the rest of the human species would be only to glad to hand that particular 'privilege' over if we could.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 14/05/2018 11:25

As an aside, do trans women really get that het up about periods? Are they genuinely jealous of having to deal with bleeds and (potentially) associated pain every month

It's not really fair to generalise. Evidence from teh intwebebs would suggest that some individuals do, but a hell of a lot don't.

WrongOnTheInternet · 14/05/2018 11:32

I will assiduously make no comment whatsoever regarding the sanity of anyone who is jealous of periods in case it gets deleted.

And as for men who don't believe they should be bothered by reality, they can buzz off back to fairyland. I wish them joy of those stately homes with out-of-sight tunnels for staff - with no staff to clean, cook etc.

yetanothertranswoman · 14/05/2018 11:36

Are they genuinely jealous of having to deal with bleeds and (potentially) associated pain every month

I don't think jealous is the word I would use - but it's a reminder that 'our bodies and mind don't match up'. There's nothing that can be done about it though and there's no point getting upset or offended about it.

LangCleg · 14/05/2018 11:50

I don't think jealous is the word I would use - but it's a reminder that 'our bodies and mind don't match up'. There's nothing that can be done about it though and there's no point getting upset or offended about it.

You know what? That's unfortunate and if it adds to dysphoric feeling it's sad and I'm sorry for you - but in the end, it's just too bad.

Women aren't excluding trans people by living. Women aren't excluding trans people by discussing their biological realities - especially when those biological realities are what's fucking them over. Women aren't excluding trans people by not hiding products to do with their biological realities in their own fucking cars.

When trans people centre their feelings of exclusion because women's realities aren't hidden away - do you know what that is? It's privilege. That's what it is. It's not marginalisation, it's not exclusion: it's privilege. It's the privilege of thinking it's more important that trans people don't suffer the very biological reality that fucks women over and are sad about it than the very biological reality that fucks women over itself. You really cannot get more privileged than that. Narcissistic feelings are more important than material reality.

yetanothertranswoman · 14/05/2018 11:52

Women aren't excluding trans people by living. Women aren't excluding trans people by discussing their biological realities - especially when those biological realities are what's fucking them over. Women aren't excluding trans people by not hiding products to do with their biological realities in their own fucking cars

Of course you're not.

Ereshkigal · 14/05/2018 11:58

When trans people centre their feelings of exclusion because women's realities aren't hidden away - do you know what that is? It's privilege. That's what it is. It's not marginalisation, it's not exclusion: it's privilege. It's the privilege of thinking it's more important that trans people don't suffer the very biological reality that fucks women over and are sad about it than the very biological reality that fucks women over itself. You really cannot get more privileged than that. Narcissistic feelings are more important than material reality.

YYY.

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