Dittany - where is she now?

[PlectrumElectrum]

Just reading a reference to dittany on another thread & was struck by the feeling that in the current climate she's sorely missed (by me, maybe others too). Did anyone know her IRL? I often wonder where she went, what she's doing now with her feminism. I'd love her to make a triumphant return!

I only lurked back in 'her day' and found her posts challenging (in a good way - made me stop & think & question my own in built ideas, prejudices, and a lifetime of female socialisation - I was a crap feminist, of the 'it's all been done, I don't have anything left to do but enjoy the freedoms already fought for) type. I'm still a million miles behind others but I'm trying to do better

So to you dittany, wherever you are now & thanks for jolting me out of my ignorant feminist slumber

I had forgotten about Beachcomber and CailinDana!! They were brilliant - so clear about everything they stood for and believed in and so patient at explaining it all! So many great feminist women have passed through FWR. Last night I was talking with DH about the evil men who have done unspeakable things to girls and women both Individually and as a group. Demons like Lawrence Bittaker and his ilk. I went to bed feeling so unhappy at the utter lack of care for women....but coming back on these boards and reading this thread about the beautiful and incredible women who CARE about women and girls....makes me feel there is always hope.

I am sick of the trans stuff (while quasi-obsessively following it) but: 1. it's important, and 2. from the POV of consciousness raising I think it almost doesn't matter what we talk about here. whatever matters in the moment acts as the issue of illumination that can help women see things differently. 3. however I do think that there are a lot more internalised-misogyny-women-blaming-and-minimising voices on mn as a whole. A thread from an exhausted woman who doesn't get practical or emotional support from her husband is very likely to be met with a majority of "suck it up buttercup, men don't do house stuff, so get over it" responses these days, and I find that sad. Back in the day there was a real robust support for women in common or garden shit situations who were getting the "suck it up" from mainstream people in real life and I really think something is missing nowadays

I haven't been around for very long but recognise a lot of names and this board has brought me to full fruition as a proud rad fem! I was a 'lazy feminist' for ever- the work was done, I and most of my friends have our equality, men are like us and believe the same things, porn is a bit of fun... mumsnet generally showed me outside my little bubble: men in relationships do WHAT?? that's not FAIR.
From ignoring fwr, to lurking, to wondering, to desperately trying to reconcile my beliefs to increasing evidence, has been an amazing journey and I thank all the women on here who keep posting because for everyone who does there is a dozen lurkers, just wondering if everything they know IS right...

, well remember you coming under a few name changes Lass, and not being upfront about it

Rather defeats the point of changing if it has to be announced. As it is I I soon discovered there was no point due to calling out. I've been Lass for ages. I havw never posted using 2 names on the same thread replying to myself which Buffy did.

There is a bit of hypocrisy on name changing. I particularly like the posters with no posting history referring back to something I'm supposed to have said to them. I don't call them out on a name change.

Kim is another poster who wasnt allowed a name change.

then I’m surprised that you do not recognise why some women are supportive of MRAs. You made no mention of these women who have been conditioned to support them in your previous post.

I refer back to your earlier comment:
I think that, perhaps, you forget those women brought up by misogynists, as I was.

"those women", which clearly means you think I was not one, and somehow privileged, and you and your kind had just no choice but to absorb misogyny? Because that is what it sounds like you were saying.

You were playing at the 'but I am more disadvantaged' card. Sorry sunshine, that won't wash as to why you embraced it and blame other women who saw threw it. And clearly, STILL cannot see through it. I can see no evidence you will progress from that. I really have no time to engage with those who will twist things around to support a faulty framework, so please do not address me again.

aaannnd the reason why so many posters went off with their noses in slings begins to become clear.....

Was there really a need for that LRD

Some girls will be conditioned by misogyny, some will rebel against it, some will do the former for a while and then the latter.

A lot of disagreements arise just from the odd missing 'some'.

Re swapping between existing NNs (not creating new ones) - very easy in the app, but I'm pretty sure it's easy in the browser too, though I've not used that for a while.

Yes, rufus, terribly rude of me really, to point out that malicious lies about a poster who's a personal friend and who isn't on here to defend herself, have been rightly deleted.

I did it because some may not skim back and see they've been deleted, and I don't want people thinking there was a shred of truth to what lass was saying.

I appreciate your interjection there Errol, but there was the "but you could not possibly know" embedded in her comments. And that is what I reacted to. As well as the "poor me, how could I possibly have known?" As if she had the worst upbringing in the world. Not true, most radfems have been through hell. It is a myth that most radfems are privileged white women without a clue. Most of us lived through it to tell the tale. And learned. Those who took more time to realise - they actually did have the luxury of more privileged lives.

"Kim is another poster who wasnt allowed a name change."

Is this mythomania or just meant to be funny?

Kim namechanged so many times. I can think of at least 5 names used by the same person after "Kim".

@LaSqrrl I think you went off for no reason.

I think you read more into that post than was actually there and there’s really no need for the OTT reaction.

Ffs! This was a great thread. For a while.

I think the point was whenever Kim namechanged someone would recognise their posting style and connect them back to Kim. AFAIK, Kim didn't actually announce name changes.

(I tend to mention my name changes on the pub thread to people I know will be interested - there's a tiny handful I've been chatting to for years. I just like to make advanced search that bit harder for people.)

Kim namechanged so many times. I can think of at least 5 names used by the same person after "Kim"

The point being that everytime Kim name-changed someone called her out on it. It is pretty bad form just because one poster recognises who someone is to then out that poster.

I stick by what I said about Buffy. I'm glad she has gone. FWR , even with trans boredom is more interesting without her monopolising it.

"the FWR are all mean plus they use academic language to exclude people'... all the endless feminism 101ing"

Yes, there was a lot of that. FWR was a very unwelcoming, aggressive place where only one viewpoint was allowed. Anything else, and you would be condescended at for not having read or understood this book or that author - what you call "Feminism 101" - with the assumption that one had to have been initiated into that brand of feminism to have anything worthwhile to say. People had to be sent off to a newcomers' thread to ask their questions and arguments because the regulars couldn't be bothered with them on other threads.

Dittany was instrumental to getting feminist discourse off the ground on here and she has changed the lives of many MNers, by all accounts. Nobody can say otherwise. However FWR was not all a bed of roses under her rule & command.

Kim generally likes to make it perfectly clear who they are IME

Nothing to do with whether i felt it was rude or not

Could just have easily said 'anyone who hasnt noticed be aware that those patently untrue accusations about buffy have been deleted'

As opposed to ner nicky ner ner

Im always tempted to do ner nicky ner ner

However FWR was not all a bed of roses under her rule & command.

True!

True, I could have said that, but I share your temptation. And, frankly, I wrote it off the cuff as soon as I got MNHQ's message in my inbox.

“to point out that malicious lies about a poster who's a personal friend and who isn't on here to defend herself, have been rightly deleted. ”

Tbf we just know they’ve been deleted

No idea how mn came to that conclusion or that it proves lass was being anything other than accurate in her account

Sometimes temptation is too much to resist

I write loads of posts and usually delete them for excessive swearing and threats of violence

One day I'll accidentally forget and they will kick me straight off here

Well, I reported them as lies, and MNHQ deleted them. Of course, you're right, it could be because it's the second Friday in the month (is it?).

rufus - yep.

Yeah LRD screenshoot the email I wanna see proof mn deleted it cos it's the second Friday of the month also thanks for reminding me it's Friday I thought it was Thursday today