Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

100% Hate-Proof Debate Opportunity!

125 replies

MadBadDaddy · 04/05/2018 00:41

(An invitation to pour scorn on a man for being an old credulous hippy and not for hating women)

Why not? I'm a bit Wine, & you lot look like you could do with cheering up. There is a serious point here, but yes I am Mad, and here's how. I thought I'd share something original that is at least accusation-proof and, in my wildest dreams, debatable!

Here is the plate, hand me my ass. Bonus points for unconscious sexism.

*
There is a magic to MN/Fem boards. I believe in magic.
Some boards feel like a Spell has been cast that aims to make a woman feel safe and trusted, as though it were an actual, physical 'Safe Space' (refuge, etc.).
The words of the Spell are the Rules of the Debate for a particular topic. The words are spoken in parts, in many posts and statements. The Rules of MN/Fem aim to create a 'Safe Space for All Women,' to talk or to listen and not be afraid. Fearless debate needs this as a minimum requirement.

A 'Safe Space' ceases to exist once it is compromised in any way. Any male presence will compromise it. If one woman feels compromised, all women are. A male presence is as much of an intrusion here as it would be in any physical space, but there is a difference.

Any male voice here is not destroying a Safe Space, it is breaking a Spell. The threat is almost identical, but there is no spell in a real-world shelter, just locks and doors. Your shelter has transparent walls and advertises its address. The personality of the board adds the locks & curtains and creates Seclusion. When secluded from Men, Women can feel safe.

Any debate with a Male presence can always be perfectly civil (depending on the male...) but there is a sense that the spell blows away a bit with every post I make. I notice it as I type, and as I read. I am intruding, whatever my intentions.

I see the impatience, irritation or frustration in some posts (not all aimed at me :)), and they could be read as if it were the Spell that is being defended or complained about, rather than the Male presence that is being attacked.

As protective and powerful as it is, a Spell is not real like a wall is, it is an illusion. It is powered by belief. You are not secluded here, but can feel like you are. That is enough for the Spell to work. My voice reminds you of the illusion, but it was an illusion before I arrived.

The Spell serves a much-needed purpose, but it can sometimes be destructive if used without care. You are all magicians, whether you know it or not. If you cast the spell as a defensive reflex, what you are doing is a little like flinching. Sometimes a big, strong Shield can get in your way as much as your attacker's.

I'm not suggesting you change a thing, but just don't be fooled. Seclusion or isolation is a hard place to be if you want to get off your back foot.

As they used to say, blessed be!

OP posts:
MadBadDaddy · 04/05/2018 11:37

'ning
Head's not too bad, thanks for asking.Brew Shock

Yes I made a fool of myself, (there was no avoiding that) but its always nice to have some company. (take THAT, double-meaning fans!)

Next week I'll just do a straight Q&A: "All About Me", and I can demonstrate some useful knee-licking tips. Bring Honey.

I'm done here. Thanks to anyone who saw any value, and for all of the comments, expected or otherwise. Thank you for letting me use you.

Brew [werk]

(BTW If you want to see this comedy thread move out of the way in a flash, just start adding the right magic words, and the Mod Pixies will do the rest. You won't need much!):)

OP posts:
Tinkletinklelittlebat · 04/05/2018 11:49

Thank you for letting me use you.

.......... oh how to respond to that without getting banned? Angry Angry Angry You're welcome. After all, what else are a bunch of women for?

Quick, someone pass me a lemon curd recipe.

BarrackerBarmer · 04/05/2018 11:54

Thank you for letting me use you

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/05/2018 12:02

Please don't anybody report that!

Let the mad, bad one read it back a few more times and think about it....

Daddy I do hope you can get something positive from all of this. Mainly that, despite how you might feel you still communicate in a particularly masculine manner. And we, as women, are used to spotting it, mainly because it belittles us. No matter how unintended, and the fact that it is usually unintended just underlines how socialised we are into gender stereotypes, it is always felt, it always belittles and is never acceptable.

MadBadDaddy · 04/05/2018 12:11

I used my man-magic to drag you in here, read it, respond to it and keep it at the top of the charts?

OP posts:
BarrackerBarmer · 04/05/2018 12:22

You call yourself 'daddy'
And 'man'
But also 'trans'

What the heck have you transitioned FROM and TO?

MadBadDaddy · 04/05/2018 12:44

@CuriousaboutSamphire I read, I learn. I wasn't really trying to not be masculine. I was trying to not be silent. I'm glad some of you can spot a personal agenda when you see one. I don't mind the ones that can't.
This is the price of easing the weight of the chip on my shoulder.

Being conditioned to be silent is a genuine Trans issue as much as it is a Feminist issue but for completely different reasons. You are being silenced by men, while we are silencing ourselves from childhood. 'Men' men don't have a clue, but you lot do. ( Dammit, busted!)

That's a take-away, BTW, not a challenge.
The bottom line of this debate should be:
I've learnt a lot since I washed up here and I'm grateful.

Dammit, busted!

OP posts:
MadBadDaddy · 04/05/2018 12:45

@BarrackerBarmer I thought getting your chap out here was frowned upon?

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/05/2018 13:00

You are being silenced by men, while we are silencing ourselves from childhood Erm... you may have missed the fact that we do silence ourselves, mainly from fear of what society as a whole will think of us if we act 'out of character'

'Men' men don't have a clue, but you lot do. ( Dammit, busted!) Look, I can see what you are trying to say, but you still don't really have your listening ears on (and just here I had to delete the smiling emoji my socialisation demanded)

There is no take away! -That's not really a female concept
There is no 'should be' in a real debate - that's a male concept
You 'washed up here' - we live here!

Now, I don't think you meant any of what you said the way I have interpreted it... but it does, again, show the wide chasm between what you might think you are doing and how you are coming across.

Except for This is the price of easing the weight of the chip on my shoulder I am afraid you have again shown your overriding masculinity, we don not exist to ease anything for you. Stop using us!

We have asked quite nicely. Maybe, if you could stop, listen and think outside yourself for a moment, you would see that we really are trying quite hard not to just tell you to fuck off!

BarrackerBarmer · 04/05/2018 13:09

If this was a post about recipes I wouldn't ask.

You are offering a personal perspective on female only space and the impact of male people in it, on a forum which you know is full of women opposed to the idea that males should be able to mask their sex with 'gender' in female spaces and use obfuscation to breach boundaries.

And here you are, coyly obscuring your sex whilst announcing you are 'trans' and 'daddy' And 'using us'.

You're behaving exactly like the sort of man you claim you understand we need to have boundaries against.

BarrackerBarmer · 04/05/2018 13:11

Mumsnet rules prevent me from saying fuck off.

There's a nice analogy for you.
My choice is 'talk, but be nice to the men"
Or "deleted"

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/05/2018 13:12

Oh, that was much better, totally succinct! I really need to stop being such a bloody 'teacher', don't I?

MadBadDaddy · 04/05/2018 13:44

@CuriousaboutSamphire fucking off is fine with me. Say the word and I'll have it pulled myself. I can save 'bowing out gracefully' for another day.

I'm not asking for a Gavel to bang, but it was 'my' topic. I came in with as few cards in my back pocket as I could manage. All the rest were on the table.

"Now, I don't think you meant any of what you said the way I have interpreted it" The benefit of the doubt is always an unexpected joy for me here whenever is see it. Unjudged is not an expectation.

OP posts:
cistersofterfy · 04/05/2018 13:59

I've read the OP twice and I still don't get it. You don't sound very accepting of yourself. Honestly, and I'd say this to anyone, if you're seeking external validation to fill an internal void then it'll never work. Accept and love yourself and then it'll be easier for others to accept and love you plus you won't need external validation anyway.

Greymisty · 04/05/2018 14:32

Clueless as to what this thread is about.

MadBadDaddy · 04/05/2018 14:48

@cistersofterfy I don't disagree with anything you say, and yes I made use of this website for selfish ends, and probably not very well either. The validating bit for me was being heard, and i'm not talking about some Pagan Woo. I wasn't goading feminism. I demanded nothing and said nothing I'm ashamed of. If you can't see any love in what I say than that's not really my problem. I'm not throwing my problems in your faces any more than you are throwing yours at me. My issues are personal, your debates revolve around social issues, at least the ones I read do.

Social issues never blend easily with personal issues, I've learnt to my utter distress over the last year or so.

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 04/05/2018 14:51

'Stand back, Ladies. For a Man hath foolishly mixed his Drinks before Sundown!'

WishTheGroundWouldSwallowMeUp · 04/05/2018 15:11

interesting.

practicing masculinity.

on a light note drunk threads can be funny.
Although I once strayed into The Doghouse boards drunk. I dug myself a hole then just kept on digging. I was price tit and no body was amused.Blush

MadBadDaddy · 04/05/2018 15:13

I said I wasn't here to defend myself but...

"and just here I had to delete the smiling emoji my socialisation demanded"

That's the kicker and possibly the only comment here that hurt in any way. Avoiding the pitfalls of socialisation must be a game as you learn how to notice them in yourself and others. Reasonable, because this is your playing field. I have no reason to spoil it or change it. I'm mostly happy to spectate and wave my little flag occasionally. So long as I don't run naked onto the pitch too often, I don't see a problem.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/05/2018 15:18

Oh dear! Did I hurt your feelz?

cistersofterfy · 04/05/2018 15:22

You sound so miserable. Are you getting any help? I mean this seriously.

MadBadDaddy · 04/05/2018 15:26

"practicing masculinity." I suppose I am. I would have argued your ears off a short while ago (I'm Trans! How very dare you, etc.), but you've been all SO keen to tear my eyelids off and corrupt me with your clear, comprehendable, consistant logic.

Dadsnet is crap for this.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/05/2018 15:30

Ye gods! I can't imagine how you could even start a conversation like this on Dadsnet. I am guessing they did tell you to fuck off!

I don't know whether to offer yet more sarcasm for your stupidity or a medal for conspicuous (aka pointless) bravery!!!

WishTheGroundWouldSwallowMeUp · 04/05/2018 15:33

oh look, I am still a Prize tit, as I have just price tagged my boob! apparently.

mad Flowers

Teacuphiccup · 04/05/2018 15:33

‘I have nothing against women’s spaces’

And yet you’re here.

Swipe left for the next trending thread