@DonnaBe I would love to believe that you are arguing in good faith here, because you clearly demonstrate the fact that there is a huge amount of common ground between these two "sides", and that the areas of disagreement are often based on misunderstandings or falsehoods.
One of the major problems we gender critical feminists face is that our argument is rather academic, and based on an understanding of history, biology and anthropology that actually requires a fair bit of reading (not necessarily academic tomes) to grasp.
You agree with us on far more than you think you do, because you do not understand our position. You do not understand what biological determinism is, you do not appear to know what "social construct" means, and you are unable to grasp that "living as a woman" for many women (especially feminists) boils down solely to matters of biology.
If you are in good faith (and I'm not sure whether you are), I urge you to get better informed on these concepts, because I think you would be surprised at how much common ground we share.
For example, it is utterly ridiculous for you to want to "reach out" to infertile women. I am probably infertile - I've never tried to conceive, and am happily childfree, but I have messed up ovaries and ovulate very infrequently. My experience is not one of some kind of sad longing for a child that you, as a transwoman, can empathise with. It's a bloody pain in the arse. For twenty years I have had to take pregnancy tests every couple of months because without regular periods there is no way for me to be sure that my contraception is working. I still have to experience period pains, smear tests, pill check ups and the judgements of people who expect me to procreate and think I'm weird for not wanting to.
You have your biological challenges, but they are not, and cannot be, the same as mine. The challenges I face as a woman are based on my biology.
Yes, there are other challenges in life, and I'm sure we share some of those, but they are things that are not exclusive to women. The only ways in which my life differs from that of my male partner - or any male - are biological.
Everything else - pronouns, names, clothing, gender roles - they are all cultural constructs. Anyone can perform them, so they do not really constitute what it means to live as a woman. I have absolutely no problem with anyone adopting any aspect of any gender stereotype - I'll use whatever pronouns someone asks me to. I find gendered pronouns and honorifics ridiculous anyway. Please respect my right in turn not to be called "cis".
It's fantastic that some men want to adopt aspects of stereotyped femininity, because their very act of doing so challenges those stereotypes and proves that they do not add up to "woman". But there's no scientific evidence whatsoever for innate gender, or blue and pink brains. Forcing people to pretend there is through legislation isn't going to change that.
Performing femininity while asking the world to accept that it's the same as being a woman reinforces the gender stereotypes. Can you see that? It really is the crux of the issue. It's quite wrong to think that radical feminists want men and women to stay in stereotypical gender roles. We want the opposite.
Gender critical feminists do not believe all women should be feminine brood mares - we do not believe that gender roles are innate. You appear not to believe this either, because you said that gender is a social construct. If you understand what a social construct is, then you know that means there cannot be any such thing as an innate gender identity.
I completely understand that for people with gender dysphoria, there is an overwhelmingly strong feeling that they are in the wrong body. I am not diminishing that feeling - I understand that the feeling is very real and powerful. But there is no possible way for someone who was born one sex truly to know what it is like to be the opposite sex, because there is no evidence for male and female gendered brains. If transitioning brings some relief from the pain of the dysphoria, then that's a fantastic thing, and I support people's rights to present however they want, live however they want and be called whatever they want.
People with gender dysphoria are not the problem here, and not who the so-called TERFs are worried about. That's why so many of them support us - self-ID may reduce their access to treatment.
If you're for real DonnaBe, stick around, read some of the discussions here, listen and learn.
Geez this is long. Sorry chaps.