What do you use the womens’ toilets for?

[FancyRibbon]

Inspired by recent posts on the Radio 4 thread.
I realised that the whole ‘Why do you even care who is pissing in the cubicle next to you?’ argument against single sex toilets underestimates how I think many women actually do use/need the ladies’.

It’s not just about the cubicle being private to you as an individual woman (though this is really important), it’s also about knowing there is a door behind which there is a women-only space that can be really important. Some of that is specifically about it NOT being a male space.

So eg what I use the women’s toilets for is:

• pissing, crapping, dealing with periods, POAS
• a place to cry especially at work when you don’t want anyone else to see
• a place to go and just sit and feel exhausted because your baby is not sleeping and you’re back at work

-as above washing and drying breastmilk leaks on clothes which involving standing about with some stuff off

• a place to sort out falling down tights and gappy shirts, -against adjusting/taking off clothes possibly while checking in a mirror
• somewhere to talk to other women privately knowing men won’t be around
• in bars and clubs, a place to get away from male hassle

I just don’t want to share women’s toilets with men. Self ID will be making that not my choice any more. I feel that I won’t be able to just avoid gender neutral toilets and look for a women’s any more, because women’s toilets won’t exist and campaigning for them will be hate speech.

When I lived in France there were toilets for both sexes all together. I found it weird weeing when I guy could hear it let alone pooing.

Also in a bar or club it's time away from men. I hated having no time out. I hated having nowhere to redo makeup infront of the men because sometimes I'd redo my fountain which means taking it off first. There were also leery men and I felt terribly prudish but I missed a place to have a girly catchup ect.

Mostly crying recently and changing knickers and most every other thing previous posters have mentioned. Im not a cis woman. I am a woman ie biological adult human female

One more thing I go to the ladies for - wiping off the evidence of small children's mucky hands. DH does not seem to need to do this as it's me they make a beeline for as default parent.

Quite a few loos in pubs now are self contained unisex within a bigger - unisex - space.

A lot of the things you mention are done in the cubicle anyway - not that I can say I’ve ever done a pReg test in a public toilet.

I’m a woman, not a cis woman, but this is one of the things I can’t get worked up about - unisex loos are common.

The issue of Women’s shelters etc being accessed by men is far more worrying.

Pissing
Shitting
Cleaning myself after the above, not always straightforward thanks to birth injuries
Pregnancy testing
Emptying/changing mooncup
Cleaning up flooding when my period starts
Changing tights

Want to do this in a vagina only space please

I use gender neutral/mixed sex loos where there isn’t a choice. I just really don’t like being in a closed off space with men, I find it stressful.

I don’t like men hearing my tampon packets and the sanitary bin lid going. I don’t like standing with men washing our hands together because I feel inhibited to do any of the normal stuff/professional face/teeth/outfit checks that I would usually do.

It just doesn’t feel private or relaxed to me with men in the same toilets space. I just want to wash my hands and get out as quickly as possible into a more public area.

I’m not in control of whether when I am out and about or at work if I am going to have a flood of blood to deal with or whatever.

Another thing which is horrible and runs through my mind- I remember as a student, they brought in mixed sex toilets and my gleeful male friends coming back into the SU bar saying they had just been listening to girls piss in the toilets next to them.

I just don’t think (most?) women have the same reaction to a mixed sex space that (some? many?) men do. (Yeah, yeah, NAMALT ) I don’t see why women’s wish to be private for what seem to me to be really obvious, basic reasons is becoming apparently hateful and unsayable.

basically its all the period, miscarrying and breastmilk leaking stuff that has made me grateful for women's loos.

I also find a lot of public toilets not that well maintained so the locks are broken, the occasional woman accidently opening the door on me sorting out a tampax is embarrassing but not as embarrassing as a man opening a door on me. A really nice, non predatory man doesn't want to accidently see that.

Also can we not make toilets all about being a place to cry please? If I’m crying in a loo it’s not because I don’t want a man to hear, it’s because i don’t want anyone to hear.

I’ve done preg tests in public toilets. I didn’t want anyone I lived with to know.

Good point OP, never thought about that - the luxury of living alone i guess.

Also forgot squeezing milk out of overfull breasts and changing breastpads

Poking at stitches (in not too horribly a personal place but still personal enough to have to poke around in bra).

Ive peed with the door open in the last cubicle when Ive had little ones in prams with me.

I dont go there to "feel womanly". I mostly go there for vagina related chores.

Simply having a space that is free of biological males is an oasis in a world that is dominated by them.

By allowing men (however they dress or have themselves surgically altered) into female space, that oasis is gone.

The world is male enough already. There needs to be female space.

Not all of these reasons apply to cis women. And a lot of them apply to trans women.

Not all of these reasons apply to women. And a lot of them apply to men.

Corrected that for you. All of those things apply to women - not necessarily all things to all women of course as each woman is different.

Why can't biological men do the things they need to do in men's toilets? There are cubicles in them usually. I'm confused as to why men need to go into a female toilet to do those things.

Simply having a space that is free of biological males is an oasis in a world that is dominated by them.

Preach. Even a wee is more peaceful.

I don't do any of the things mentioned other than Peeing, possibly changing if I've had an af issue, and on 1 occasion a miscarriage.
The rest of the things are done in my own home.
But even if I did do any of the other things it wouldn't matter a fig to me who was the other side of the cubical, they can't see what I'm doing so who cares.
AND I can honestly say that when I had a miscarriage in the public toilet the last thing to cross my mind was who's on the other side of that LOCKED cubical door.
Not quite sure what's so private about putting on make up or why it's ok to phone woman's aid in front of possible 10 bio women but not in front of 1 nonbio. Oh wait I forgot I'm in the realms of all men are woman beaters and every man is a potential sex offender

Ffs! Enough with the "men do this stuff too". Men have their own toilets, there are no proposals that I'm aware of to have anyone else encroach on them.

Oh yes. I often have to use the end loo with the door opener I can see the buggy - with 3 small ones there is no way I can take them all in with me, and I always have one in a sling....

Why is a grown Man who dresses up (in fetish wear) like a little girl coming on here to tell Women we are wrong?

Piss off, we see you.

and actually thinking aobut it - when I had a buggy I very often had to pee with the door open basically

like most I not too fussed about a trans person who has had surgery and looks very feminine using the space - but someone who looks like a man, has a penis and hasn't taken hormones, less keen.

Simply having a space that is free of biological males is an oasis in a world that is dominated by them.

Yes. Sick to death of their loud judgy inane bollocks. After a train ride when you have had to listen to them prattling on for 2 hours, a nice quiet piss in peace when you get to the station - bliss.

in front of possible 10 bio women but not in front of 1 nonbio

Men are not, and never will be, women.

We do not want to do these things in front of males. It's as simple as that. They already have the rest of the world. Women fought for their own spaces. Men are colonising them.

Oh yes, dealing with urinary incontinence caused by childbirth
Just a woman here. No need for the 'cis' label. Thanks.

Changing clothes - on several occasions when my period had leaked through and I had to buy new trousers.

And a female colleague changes out of her jilbab (not sure of spelling) in the summer and changes her clothes underneath. She also removes her hijab and re arranged it. Not sure she'd do that in a unisex facility.