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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What do you use the womens’ toilets for?

449 replies

FancyRibbon · 24/03/2018 16:21

Inspired by recent posts on the Radio 4 thread.
I realised that the whole ‘Why do you even care who is pissing in the cubicle next to you?’ argument against single sex toilets underestimates how I think many women actually do use/need the ladies’.

It’s not just about the cubicle being private to you as an individual woman (though this is really important), it’s also about knowing there is a door behind which there is a women-only space that can be really important. Some of that is specifically about it NOT being a male space.

So eg what I use the women’s toilets for is:

  • pissing, crapping, dealing with periods, POAS
  • a place to cry especially at work when you don’t want anyone else to see
  • a place to go and just sit and feel exhausted because your baby is not sleeping and you’re back at work
-as above washing and drying breastmilk leaks on clothes which involving standing about with some stuff off
  • a place to sort out falling down tights and gappy shirts, -against adjusting/taking off clothes possibly while checking in a mirror
  • somewhere to talk to other women privately knowing men won’t be around
  • in bars and clubs, a place to get away from male hassle

I just don’t want to share women’s toilets with men. Self ID will be making that not my choice any more. I feel that I won’t be able to just avoid gender neutral toilets and look for a women’s any more, because women’s toilets won’t exist and campaigning for them will be hate speech.

OP posts:
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boldlygoingsomewhere · 25/03/2018 18:33

God that twitter thread is awful! How can anyone compare a miscarriage to having a shit?!

LineysRun · 25/03/2018 18:38

tobee, same here with heavy blood loss. It's a very personal matter. Why do should I have to share these experiences with people I don't feel comfortable with?

tobee · 25/03/2018 18:55

Btw I've had a male gynaecologist, a male midwife and a male gp internally examined me to see if I was having a vaginal prolapse. But there was consent ascertained first. Plus it's a totally different context going to the hospital/doctor's than being surprised in the toilets.

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 25/03/2018 19:10

Ugh....so sick of pig ignorant men right now and their evil attitude to women. Just so tired of them. Wish they would all fuck off and leave women in peace once and for all.

cuirderussie · 25/03/2018 19:12

Oh and his reference to "XY women" - horrific. Angry

tobee · 25/03/2018 19:15

I don't believe he really thinks that he's just being aggressive.

tobee · 25/03/2018 19:19

He certainly is pig ignorant though because he's just (like all TRAs) proving our point and providing yet another example.

Datun · 25/03/2018 19:39

Ugh indeed.

You simply cannot legislate for arsehole men who think having a miscarriage should be something that women are happy to carry out in front of a bunch of men fetishise womanhood.

AngryAttackKittens · 25/03/2018 19:48

Well, until we figure out a way to pass a piece of legislation that just says "Fuck Off".

Materialist · 26/03/2018 07:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SporadicSpartacus · 26/03/2018 07:38

At work, our loos are often used by Muslim women doing hijab adjustments.

I wonder if anyone has consulted them about if they’re cool with taking off their hijab in a gender neutral space. I know following a religion is a choice whereas being born female is not - but we’re not talking about a small number of women here, and workplaces are required to accommodate religious beliefs within reason. There might be an interesting Equality Act case in there somewhere.

Jaxtellerswife · 26/03/2018 07:44

I use them for toilet, hand washing, check reflection, brush hair etc. Apart from toileting which I would do in a cubicle, I couldn't give a rats tiny bottom who else is in there

Kneedeepinunicorns · 26/03/2018 09:24

That's lovely for you Jax . What about the (many) women who do?

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 26/03/2018 09:35

Jax doesn't give a rat's tiny bottom about women either, Kneedeep. As long as her hair is ok, that's what matters!

LineysRun · 26/03/2018 09:42

Yeah, fuck me and my gynaecological issues.

SporadicSpartacus · 26/03/2018 09:46

In SoA, didn’t Jax Teller’s wife once beat someone up in a bathroom? Or was that Gemma?

TERFragetteCity · 26/03/2018 11:38

Still laughing about that one Twitter numpty who, confronted with that question, declared he accepted transwomen as women “except for relationship purposes” and was duly heaped with ridicule that he was demanding women get naked with people he himself didn’t want to get naked with

This numpty...

What do you use the womens’ toilets for?
HonkyWonkWoman · 26/03/2018 11:52

Oh God! I think I'm too old for all this!!!!!
I don't know what label should apply to me, I also don't want or need a label.
All this labelling rubbish has only started in the last few years.
It's crazy.
Btw. I am what used to be described as a woman i.e. I was born with a fanny.
If I'd been born with a dick, I'd be a man.
Whatever some people think, you can't just think you're a certain sex and you are that sex. Even if you surgically change your bits.
It's all absolute rubbish and if I see a hairy arsed bloke in a ladies loo I'll chuck the bastard out.

TERFragetteCity · 26/03/2018 12:01

It's all absolute rubbish and if I see a hairy arsed bloke in a ladies loo I'll chuck the bastard out.

The issue is, that if you did that - you would be the one arrested for a hate crime.

HonkyWonkWoman · 26/03/2018 12:17

Not if I rang the Police right away and said he'd sexually abused me!
It's a risk they take coming into female spaces, they could be accused of something.
Better if they stick to their own loo's!
Btw. Yes I'm a dirty fighter!

iamawoman · 26/03/2018 12:18

Is cis a banned word on mumsnet? When did t his happen? There was a lovely chap on twitter this week who when a women was telling her story about a miscarriage in regards to the need for female only toilets he very kindly said words to effect that it was no different than having a s*t. This man is representative of the types of men trans or not who will abuse self id to literally s*t all over women at any oppportunity whether thats toilets/changing rooms/girl guides they will actively use self id to intimidate/demean/abuse girls and women

iamawoman · 26/03/2018 12:21

Should have rtft someone has provided the link already 😀

gussyfinknottle · 26/03/2018 12:37

Throwing up with hyperemesis. Washing bloodied hands when I've been dealing with whatever period issue.
Phoning doc/school etc about my daughter.
Crying in secret if I've had a bad day.
Make up/clothes adjustments or changing.
Dealing with my dd and any private toilet related issue she might have.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 26/03/2018 16:17

Washing curry stains from all down my skirt after a messy desk lunch. Hypothetically of course. I'm not that messy 😇

CircleSquareCircleSquare · 26/03/2018 18:22

Used the public loo today to empty my mooncup and wash my hands.
Over heard a woman (presumably on the phone) discussing a contraception fail.