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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

"Wrong bathroom" sign in university toilet

320 replies

PinkChestnut · 03/03/2018 10:58

I peak transed a while ago, but then have leveled out recently and taken the live and let live approach in my thinking.

However this sign in a Scottish university bathroom, designed by transpeople, bothers me.

"they are using the facilities they feel safe in - please do not take that right away from them"

So if there's a petite young woman in the toilets beside a 6'3 muscular male appearanced person and she feels uncomfortable, where does she go to feel safe? The disabled toilet?

Also "don't challenge them" sounds wrong to me. Like they're untouchable. What if they're acting inappropriate?

"Wrong bathroom" sign in university toilet
OP posts:
Fishfingersandwichnocheese · 03/03/2018 15:27

I’ve never said I hated anyone. I certainly don’t hate people with gender dysphoria or trans people.

Ok I hate Nigel Farage. But I think that’s fair enough.

You seem to be confusing facts and concerns based on facts for hate ?

Also please do come back with your own stats on male violence if you don’t believe mine ?

stitchglitched · 03/03/2018 15:28

Is 'not being raped' now the standard that women are supposed to accept? What about discomfort, loss of privacy, feeling unsafe or intruded upon? What about men who are able to make you feel intimidated without laying a finger on you, and get off on it? What about men who get off on being validated as a woman and are forcing you to be an unwilling party to their fantasy? What about women who have experience of male violence and need to feel safe, or women from other cultures for whom single sex spaces are vital? Should women suck all that up as long as they are not actually being raped?

IfNot · 03/03/2018 15:29

So....you haven't actually bothered to read any of the totally reasonable posts explaining why the objections are not coming from a place of hate, but a place of self protection?
Most people who are against self id are logical, rational and compassionate people, who are pro gay rights, anti gender stereotypes and wish no harm to anyone. But that doesn't mean we have to lie down and give up our boundaries. Sorry.

Fishfingersandwichnocheese · 03/03/2018 15:30

I fully support the right of anyone to dress, act and behave how they want to (within the law).

That is not the same as ignoring biology and simple facts.

BigDeskBob · 03/03/2018 15:36

"The only thing we have any control over is how decent we are to other human beings"

Only women are expected to show respect though. Men and tim get to do and demand what they want and anyone (women particularly) who disagrees gets called a bigot.

TiM are never expected to treat women with the decency they demand of women.

littlevoiceofsanity · 03/03/2018 15:36

I will deface these if I see them.

I will challenge any male who walks into my spaces.

Time for talking is over. No one is listening.

Maybe the Suffragettes were right. Women have to take action . War is the only thing Man understands.

BigDeskBob · 03/03/2018 15:40

If saw one, I'd take it down and put it on the mens. It's about time men are forced to be nice to other men.

SimonBridges · 03/03/2018 15:42

Please also remember that most of you are getting your information from people who are not well educated and who just have massive amounts of hatred towards the world.

The statistical information about the percentage of violence against women perpetrated by men in fact. Cold hard fact. With no agenda, no hatred, no lack of education.

I am willing to bet that every woman on this thread has had some kind of sexual abuse from men. From cat calling and bottom pinching right up to rape. I am also willing to bet that the percentage of those assaults which were performed by women is as close to 0 as makes no odds.

itsgettinghotinhere80 · 03/03/2018 15:42

Ffs, I would remove a sign like that every time I saw it, and also complain to whoever put it up. Ridiculous misguided nonsense. If someone with a penis was in the female toilets damn right I would stare and make them feel uncomfortable. Why are women being expected put up with this shit??? And as for women who defend this misogynistic rubbish, well words just fail me

SimonBridges · 03/03/2018 15:44

Please also remember that most of you are getting your information from people who are not well educated and who just have massive amounts of hatred towards the world.

And on that note I’m still waiting for the quote from this thread saying that anyone thinks that all trans people are rapists.

stitchglitched · 03/03/2018 15:45

Yes the idea that women on this thread aren't extremely knowledgable and well researched on this issue, and are instead falling for uneducated propaganda- from a poster who seems to think that women pose an equal threat and sex segregation is comparable to racial apartheid.

Patodp · 03/03/2018 15:48

Did that organ donor thread really say that?

Truscum · 03/03/2018 15:50

Eugh. What a load of bull.

I’d say I’d deface them if I ever see one but it’s doubtful that will happen now I’ve started using men’s toilets/bathrooms regularly. I would go into women’s in the past when I was with females friends but now feel it’s no longer appropriate, the honour system is no longer workable.

I bet there aren’t any of these in the men’s Hmm

Freshlylaidterf · 03/03/2018 15:51

getting your information from people who are not well educated and who just have massive amounts of hatred towards the world
Shock

littlevoiceofsanity · 03/03/2018 15:52

All over the world little girls are being raped, abused and even having their genitals mutilated so they can never enjoy sex as their right.
Girls are kidnapped from school, raped repeatedly and made pregnant.
Women are catcalled, sneered at, leered at and judged totally on their sexual appeal to men.

And you expect me to now share my refuge, my toilet and my cell with someone of the same sex who carries out these atrocities.

You can fuck right off with your PC goody two shoes act and fuk off some more. This is about pushing women even further to the bottom of the pile and wiping the dirt on us as we fall.

Wake UP. This is not about Trans and never has been. This is a new way of women being destroyed. No name, no place and soon no voice.

MaybeDoctor · 03/03/2018 15:54

I am in a public space right now with approx 20 people.

Looking around, every male here is taller than me, stronger than me and I wouldn’t want to be urinating in a cubicle next to them. I am an assertive woman in my forties, with no history of rape or serious assault. If I don’t feel comfortable with this idea, then I dread to think how women with greater vulnerability might feel.

So yes, I would challenge this, regardless of what it says on a fucking piece of A4.

Patodp · 03/03/2018 15:58

now I’ve started using men’s toilets/bathrooms regularly

Really? truscum how's that going ?

holycheeseplant · 03/03/2018 16:01

Oh truscum. Thanks

MaybeDoctor · 03/03/2018 16:02

On another note, I am interested to see how this intersects with the ‘women you must breastfeed in the toilets’ message*. Will there be trans- identifying males fleeing the ladies loos to complain about this offensive practice of female biology being perpetrated in ‘their’ space?!

*I know that women can bf anywhere, btw.

SciFiFan2015 · 03/03/2018 16:03

I knew someone once (male) who loved listening to women urinate. It turned him on. He'd sneak into women's bathrooms, hide in a stall and masturbate. He'd also used to ask me loads of questions about why it sounded the way it does and the changes in sound from start to finish.
He could wander in and out if theses toilets, never be challenged and have a fine old time eh?

midgebabe · 03/03/2018 16:08

SO how does this tackle the university rape problem reported in today's guardian?

terryleather · 03/03/2018 16:13

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NICER!!!!!!"

Every.Single.Fucking.Time.

No.

Not when my rights as a woman are being shat on by men, and my intelligence is being questioned by someone who draws an anology between racial segregation and segregation by sex.

CAAKE · 03/03/2018 16:26

Validate meeeee!

But don't stare at me because OMG you bigot you are HARMING ME!

terfsRus · 03/03/2018 16:34

MaggieMay

what sanctimonious bollocks - "o ye hate spewing harpies begone" -
you must be quite the saint, living in a hate-free Stepford Wives world.
really, why bother coming to this forum if you don't truly engage?

oh I see that was never really the intention.

TerfyMcTerface · 03/03/2018 16:35

SO how does this tackle the university rape problem reported in today's guardian?

Universities are far more interested in pandering to the trans agenda than dealing with campus rape culture. So much so, that they are willing to allocate shared bedrooms (sometimes necessary at the start of the academic year when they have run out of accommodation) on the basis of self-declared gender. So a female student could find herself sharing a bedroom with a biological male. On the one hand, they’ll offer consent workshops because apparently young men seem to have a problem understanding what consent is. On the other hand, they’ve abolished single-sexual shared bedrooms, and young women can’t complain about that because they’ll be transphobic bigots if they do.