Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

"Wrong bathroom" sign in university toilet

320 replies

PinkChestnut · 03/03/2018 10:58

I peak transed a while ago, but then have leveled out recently and taken the live and let live approach in my thinking.

However this sign in a Scottish university bathroom, designed by transpeople, bothers me.

"they are using the facilities they feel safe in - please do not take that right away from them"

So if there's a petite young woman in the toilets beside a 6'3 muscular male appearanced person and she feels uncomfortable, where does she go to feel safe? The disabled toilet?

Also "don't challenge them" sounds wrong to me. Like they're untouchable. What if they're acting inappropriate?

"Wrong bathroom" sign in university toilet
OP posts:
Jaxhog · 05/03/2018 13:46

Reminds me of the 'mixed gender' loo I used last year. I came out of the cubical to the sight of a man using the urinal.

BigDeskBob · 05/03/2018 13:58

YimminiYoudar, why would a male appearing person be subject to transphobic abuse in a male loo? Wouldn't they just be a man using the man's toilet?

AngryAttackKittens · 05/03/2018 14:01

Somewhere like a motorway service station or shopping centre I think everyone would be safer and more comfortable if all facilities were unisex with floor-to-ceiling doors and no open urinals, and enough larger cubicles a with mirror and sink of their own that anyone who needed to get changed or wash out a moon cup could do so.

The explanation of why this would be safer than the current arrangement seems to be missing, and isn't in the latter part of the same paragraph either. Even given proper doors that you can't see around etc, why are unisex spaces inherently safer? Because of traffic? In a service station during quiet hours traffic is still going to be low.

SnibbleAgain · 05/03/2018 15:46

Most men probably feel safer in with a bunch of women they don't know than a bunch of men they don't know, probably?

SnibbleAgain · 05/03/2018 15:51

Most men aren't sexual predators and sexual predators do not tend to operate when there are men around.

This is why most women have had encounters with multiple creepy men but men who are not predatory find this hard to believe as they have never seen it.

Anywhere girls / women are likely to be without men, creepy men will operate.

In a mixed environment a normal man might walk in at any moment- it is less safe for them. And of course normal men are bigger and stronger and more violent than girls and women, on the whole, and might well react badly to the situation.

Also mised sex tend to be open- to the street / shopping centre / shop floor / whatever. If someone wants to follow you in they have to force their way in after you before you lock the door, in a more public place. In a more traditional layout they can follow you in through the first door and after that anything they do is closed off from the public + they have another set of lockable doors to get you into. So, they can wait until no-one is looking to nip in (door not lockable) and then they have the person in "private" with further ability to get them into a cubicle and silence them if they hear someone come in.

SnibbleAgain · 05/03/2018 15:54

They can also go in and go in a cubicle and wait until they can hear only one person in there.

if it's one lockable door then they can go in and wait til the cows come home but they'll be by themselves Grin

SnibbleAgain · 05/03/2018 15:57

Feel free to browse the internet sites for men who are into voyerism in public toilets & changing rooms if you want Smile

They are not a small community and give each other tips on which ones are easy to access, where to hide cameras, they share stories and footage etc.

The bottom line is that a large minority of men have really fucked up turn-ons and act on them, in a way that most women find hard to imagine. And I don't give a fuck about "kink shaming" they deserve it. Upskirting, flashing, "peeping", stuff to do with hair, school uniforms, shoes, feet, the list goes on and on.

Jaxhog · 05/03/2018 16:43

Why is it ok for the many women to use converted to unisex men's loos with urinals, but not ok for the few transwomen to use those men's loos now? Are transwomen more vulnerable than women? If it's safe for women to use former gents loos, then surely it's safe for transwomen to use the gents now?

I doubt most men would bat an eyelid at a person in a dress using a cubicle in the gents. Most women I know have had to do this on that desperate situation when the queue for the ladies is too long! But I wouldn't want to do this as a regular thing.

PJsAndABlanketOnTheSofa · 05/03/2018 17:21

Jax in the evwnt that your question isn't rhetorical...

It's important for TIMs to be able to use the women's toilets because

A) they know women don't want them there

PJsAndABlanketOnTheSofa · 05/03/2018 17:23

And

B) it validates them as Real Women.

But it's mainly becaise they know we don't really want them.thee and it's forcing us to join in their game with them.

MrGHardy · 05/03/2018 18:42

"They are using the facilities they feel safe in".

Mmmhmmm what about those they are now making feel unsafe?

thebewilderness · 05/03/2018 18:50

Once we learn to recognize the dozens of public displays of male dominance that we are subjected to on a daily basis the men's enthusiasm for self ID as transgender and genderfluid makes perfect sense.

SnibbleAgain · 05/03/2018 18:56

Maybe we all need to buy shewees and start pissing on teh streets Smile

MrGHardy · 05/03/2018 19:19

TerranceandPhilip

What's so difficult about this? Do you value women feeling safe more than a few men "feeling safe" (in reality it's feeling validated) or not?

Ifonlyus · 05/03/2018 19:27

Once we learn to recognize the dozens of public displays of male dominance that we are subjected to on a daily basis the men's enthusiasm for self ID as transgender and genderfluid makes perfect sense.

Yes to this. Once you see it, you can't stop seeing it.

SnibbleAgain · 05/03/2018 19:57

Yes to this as well.

TerfyMcTerface · 05/03/2018 20:13

Upskirting, flashing, "peeping", stuff to do with hair, school uniforms, shoes, feet, the list goes on and on.

There was an article in the Guardian about upskirting yesterday. It was quite astonishing the number of commenters who saw no problem with it, or thought that actresses were inviting it by wearing dresses.

I think we need to stop saying NAMALT. More than enough are. #MMALT (many men are like that). Let's just fucking admit it.

Yspadadden · 06/03/2018 15:50

I'm hoping this helps to explain the problem, for people who prefer examples to being bombarded with facts and figures... kaygreen.blog/2018/03/06/a-message-to-male-feminists/

ArcheryAnnie · 06/03/2018 16:07

That was interesting - thanks, Yspadadden.

Riverside2 · 06/03/2018 19:18

This is from more than three years ago, same thing

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/universityeducation/student-life/11238813/University-trans-awareness-poster-prompts-huge-response.html

I have to queue at the only single sex loo at my work, it's in private companies too.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page