Brendan Cox has resigned

[RedToothBrush]

Brendan Cox @ mrbrendancox
Last week I decided to step down from my public roles to face up to mistakes I made several years ago while at Save the Children. I apologise to people I offended or upset at the time. My actions were never malicious but they were at times inappropriate.
I take responsibility for my actions and will hold myself to a higher standard in the future.

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/jo-cox-husband-brendan-cox-step-down-charity-a8215951.html%3famp
Brendan Cox steps down from charity set up in murdered wife Jo’s memory over 'mistakes I made several years ago'

Such hypocrisy in the media. When Donald Trump gets caught saying offensive things they (rightly) go mad over it, but some virtue signalling bloke like this actually carries out repeated sexual assaults and people are still defending him because "he seems like a nice bloke". I hope the women he attacked are looked after here- they are the ones I feel sorry for. I can't imagine how hard it must be to see your attacker being defended in the media.

www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/james-obrien/james-obriens-compelling-response-brendan-cox/
This is fascinating. Why the need to mention Trump?

I'm finding this while situation fascinating because I feel like I know someone very similar to BC. He's extremely charismatic, good looking, runs a small but successful charity which is making waves and has an image of being a wonderful family man.

He has absolutely hoardes of female followers. His facebook is full of adult women fan girls telling him he's amazing and going starry eyed.

When I met him, he sexually harrassed me and I saw a very manipulative, unpleasant side to him. He was very open about the fact he sleeps with a lot of women amd he visits a lot of third world countries so it's not hard to guess that some of them will be vulnerable. He does a lot of drugs too. He has a lot of MP's and tv celebrities as friends and I obviously don't know them but I've read rumours even on Mumsnet about dodgy sexual behaviour on their part.

It only just clicked about how interconnected it all is and how of course none of them speak out against the others. They all covet eachother's roles in some way. So many people would love a nice juicy charity job which makes them a saint in their own community. They each get status by being friends with important people. It's all absolutely bogus. These are not nice human beings. They're out there saving the world but for entirely selfish reasons

I'm sure some other people must be aware about the reality of the behaviour of the man I know. But if it came out in a similar scandal I have no doubt at all that the majority of his female followers would overlook it. They all fancy him. They all want to be in his orbit. Some men do just have a huge amount of charisma and it's very powerful.

I think it stinks.

Mariella Frostrup "you can't legislate for human behaviour"!

what an absolutely dunderheaded thing to say. Wtf does she think laws are for, alien behaviour?

As for JP's "we all know men who have done things we don't approve of." Well yes, yes we do. It's a massive problem, the generally appalling behaviour of large numbers of men. (Yes, not all men, and some women, but men are MASSIVELY over-represented when it comes to criminal and aggressive behaviour.) I was thinking this when I was watching a piece about stop and search and how black men are stopped disproportionately often. But no one questioned for a second that it's almost always men who are stopped, even though that is also disproportionate. It's because we all live with, and to an extent accept, that men are statistically massively more violent and dangerous than women, for whatever reasons.

That doesn't mean we should accept it, or that if a friend does it, you can just make excuses.

geronominoleapinglizards I am sorry you got abused and I am not surprised by the set up you describe of a charismatic leader who is a dickhead.

I have namechanged and I have to careful not to divulge re a charity I worked for.

I did a small stint at a rich charity.

They were ethical and above board and really really checked people out - and what was really sick is that sick abusive people and complete entitled bullies who sexually harass people would try get jobs there.

It wouldn't fly and they really only hired people that they thoroughly checked out.

So their approach was to really be very thorough about hiring and be very clear about working standards.

I can't ever imagine for example someone being left alone long enough on their trips to have individual access to anyone vulnerable.
It just wouldn't happen.

The people who founded this charity were very onto it - very rich but not charasmatic at all and very onguard about people using their fucking privilege or wealth to fuck people over.

This charity was very onto it and very onguard. My time there really made me really consider people and their motives.

So many people still hire based on connections and therefore don't do their due diligence. You can see with networking and personal influence that a dickhead like B Cox could wield power and get into privileged and powerful positions.

One of the senior managers I worked with actually reminded me of Lundy Bancroft - I learnt so many good lessons.

I only worked there for a short time but I did do some benchmarking of other charities and was pretty shocked then.

The Oxfam debacle does not shock me.
Brendan cox doesn't shock me.
Save the children and Oxfam just didn't care - they didn't care enough to be objective and question their hiring practices - fucking disgraceful.

I think it's very natural to try and make excuses for people you know and like. People do it all the time. You suspend judgement because you think, well, he seems like a nice person so he can't be that bad really. It's disappointing, but I find it hard to judge people too harshly because I suspect that I would be the same.

hackmum I agree that it's natural - but what I'm struggling with is the lack of self awareness demonstrated by these high profile people.

Having publicly condemned people from outside their tribe for similar behaviours only a few weeks ago, defending their friends eliminates any pretence of being objective. People like Jess Phillips would have more of my respect if they admitted that, rather than trying to retain their credibility.

I think it's very natural to try and make excuses for people you know and like. People do it all the time. You suspend judgement because you think, well, he seems like a nice person so he can't be that bad really. It's disappointing, but I find it hard to judge people too harshly because I suspect that I would be the same. I think you're right but you might make these judgements in private rather than going to the media and voicing your thoughts publicly.

Mariella known to be very, very good friends with the Browns, Brendan worked closely with Gordon etc

BC very well connected and knows which skeletons to jangle amongst his small world of influential people - rest of the world is irrelevant as they don't control the narratives, could be changing though?

They're covering their own backs as well as BC and why it works - also why people's behaviour doesn't make sense as only know bit of story presented.

It will be majorly protecting own arse first and reason for support.

Really don't believe that the 'friends' angle is as we'd understand it - it's trading power, influence, secrets etc and flushing you down the toilet if you become a liability - that's the reality of 'friends' in high places.

If contagion by association becomes too strong - then throw to the lions, but keep close until then as the favour may be required to be returned.

I haven't had time to read through this thread.

In case it's not been said:
On Adam Boulton, his wife was a very close colleague of Tony Blair PM. Justin of StC was an adviser to Tony Blair and Gordon Brown.
Before buddying up again at Save the Children Brendan Cox and Justin worked together as advisers to Gordon Brown when he was PM.

The Telegraph reporting that Save The Children supported Justin Forsyth in getting a top job at Unicef.

Also mentions that Save the Children paid him a £20K bonus after it had uncovered evidence of his inappropriate behaviour towards female members of staff in 2012.

Remind me again of how allegations of sexual harrassment ruin men's lives? Man how I'd love my life to be ruined with a glowing reference for one of the most prestigious, powerful and well paid jobs in my sector and a bonus which is probably equivalent to the take home salary of the women I sexually harassed.

Justin Forsyth has just resigned from Unicef. Apparently "it has nothing to do with Save the Children".

drinkcoffee that is so interesting (and heartening) to know there is one charity prepared to do the decent thing.

I mean, it's not rocket science. It should go without saying that harrassment is wrong (though it appears that Brendan and Justin - and their apologists - did not get that particular memo). But even sex the person making the first move thinks is consensual is actually potentially exploitative as soon as there's a power imbalance.

So the first question anyone in a position of authority should ask themselves when thinking of pursuing a sexual relationship is: Do I have power over this person?
Power to hire/fire?
Power to write their annual report and set their salary?
Power to set marks/determine their academic grades?
Power over their reputation (e.g. as a journalist)?
Power over their health/ well being (e.g. as a HCP)?
Power to give/withhold food and other necessities for their very existence?

If the answer to any of these is "yes", do not pursue a sexual relationship with them. Even if you think it's consensual, there's a very high chance it won't be because of the power imbalance.

Even now his arrogance is astounding. I'm as lefty, tree-huggy lentil-weavy as they come and strongly believe in aid. Using the misdemeanours of some despicable people in the aid sector as a stick to beat the whole sector with isn't great, but if you weren't despicable in the first place there would be no stick. And it's also a bit rich to moan about people using something for shady aims when he himself has used something (his power and influence) for even shadier aims (harassing women). Or are women just collateral damage, sacrificial lambs for the greater good? Just put up and shut up so Justin and Brendan can get on with saving the world's needy children while you do some photocopying?

I just think being a sexual harasser is so divorced from the values of charity and aid that saying sorry and pointing to all of your saintly actions as mitigation is simply not enough.

So many people still hire based on connections and therefore don't do their due diligence.

Yep. And the corporate charity sector intersects very closely with liberal media and liberal politics.

It is really a very small social network we are talking about here.

I'm another lefty in despair - the left establishment really does think women are simply disposable commodities, doesn't it?

Thanks nauticant. Bet JF is leaving with a very nice remuneration package and will slip into lots of consultancy and non exec director /board member roles.

I'm sure the plan is to present BC as rehabilitated in a year or so. He'll probably set up a foundation to "educate" other men on how to reflect on their behaviour. Back in the inner circle as a celebrated man who saw the error of his ways he'll be appointed to a taskforce or advisory role and will no doubt be a "consultant" to the Cox foundation or back in the driving seat. Spreading his message of love, not hate.

Kikashi, I think you are absolutely right.

From his statement:

"In the aftermath of Jo's murder, I promised that I would dedicate my life to two things, firstly loving and protecting our children and secondly fighting the hatred that killed Jo.

In the last few days allegations from several years ago have resurfaced that makes concentrating on both of those tasks much more difficult.

For that reason, while away over half-term, I decided to step down from my current public roles for the time being."

Shows his mindset. He'll take a bit of time for reflection and then be back.

So the defence from both Justin Forsyth and Save the Children for not coming clean were that the complaints were informal and dealt with informally.

Except they weren't.

Why are they persisting in telling lies and half truths? Too used to impunity I suppose. The lack of transparency is astounding. The fact that getting away with it is as easy as resigning with a glowing reference is astounding. The arrogance and continued minimisation is astounding. The complete PR incomplete flabbergasts me!

Incompetence, that should say.

The impunity is amazing isn't it? The formal warning story was covered on the news earlier and twitter was full of people saying "but warnings, formal or otherwise, aren't notified by current employers to prospective employers". I'd bet good money he didn't leave Save the Children with a minimal reference simply stating his job and starting date.

Imagine receiving texts about what you were wearing and how it made him feel from your boss - and then if you did not respond to be told he needed a "quick word" with you. How stressful is that when he had the power over your whole ongoing career in the sector. It put the young women in a really invidious position. It was coercive and bullying, trying to get the women to somehow collude in his harassment - utterly vile. The behaviour of a decent man? - looking at you Adam Boulton. The behaviour of a dirty old man.

JF's supporters minimising his behaviour a few flirty texts are not right. Let's hope they take note.

This is from the BBC site:

An investigation by BBC Radio 4's PM programme, found the complaints related to women receiving inappropriate texts, and comments on how they looked, what they were wearing and how he felt about them.

If they did not respond, Mr Forsyth would follow up his messages with an email, asking if they had seen the text, and then asking for a "quick word", the BBC investigation found.
A woman who complained at the time said it did not seem the complaints were being treated with the "appropriate degree of seriousness".

Link:www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-43166585

There's a good article about this in today's Times*. It describes an utterly horrible culture in Save the Children with Cox as a prolific and calculatedly predatory abuser. Despite still being very scared, women are starting to speak about what went on.

Meanwhile, the Labour Party are in the business of diverting attention. This morning there was Clare Short saying that the issue is the negative media coverage about charities. According to Short, it's "hysterical". Then a couple of hours later Jenny Chapman MP was saying it was all about failures by the Charity Commission and the Department for International Development. The common approach is to move the focus away from the managers who enabled the culture and also from the people who committed the abuse.

The reason for this is clear. It's because of the close links between these abusers and the Labour Party. These close links with political power have been highly effective in creating toxic cultures.

• behind a paywall with no share token unfortunately www.thetimes.co.uk/article/charity-scandal-tantrums-and-2am-texts-of-thick-of-it-charity-chiefs-at-save-the-children-uk-brendan-cox-justin-forsyth-g90287h79