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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Brendan Cox has resigned

208 replies

RedToothBrush · 17/02/2018 22:40

Brendan Cox @ mrbrendancox
Last week I decided to step down from my public roles to face up to mistakes I made several years ago while at Save the Children. I apologise to people I offended or upset at the time. My actions were never malicious but they were at times inappropriate.
I take responsibility for my actions and will hold myself to a higher standard in the future.

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/jo-cox-husband-brendan-cox-step-down-charity-a8215951.html%3famp
Brendan Cox steps down from charity set up in murdered wife Jo’s memory over 'mistakes I made several years ago'

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DeleteOrDecay · 18/02/2018 14:29

Poor Jo and her family. Can any man be 100% trusted not to act like a pig? I don't know anymoreSad

Viviennemary · 18/02/2018 14:32

Labour are the first to go on about any misdemeanour made by somebody in other parties. With all the name calling. They're the one who have politicised attitudes to women the most. They make me sick.

SuburbanRhonda · 18/02/2018 15:47

This isn’t about Labour, @viviennemary. If you want to start a thread about how much you hate the Labour Party, crack on.

Right now just stop with the minimising. You’ve already had one post deleted for it.

nauticant · 18/02/2018 17:01

Relax everyone, Michael Gove rides to the rescue of both Brendan Cox and Lucy Powell:

twitter.com/michaelgove/status/965243533048406020

SuburbanRhonda · 18/02/2018 17:07

Relax everyone, Michael Gove rides to the rescue of both Brendan Cox and Lucy Powell

There you go, @viviennemary - you can ring the changes and take a pop at the Tories now.

Gacapa · 18/02/2018 19:44

I don't see him reflecting or taking any responsibility whatsoever. His statements are a load of shitty waffle and you'd have to be fucking stupid to take anything meaningful from them.

He's not going to own up to being a foul, abusive bastard because foul, abusive bastards never do.

He is repulsive. Serial sexual offenders never reflect or show remorse. If they were capable of that then they wouldn't be serial offenders in the first place. What a fucking pig.

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 18/02/2018 20:08

I'm glad that the current climate has meant that he has had to capitulate and step down from his charitable roles, but he's said himself that this is only a temporary hiatus.

As he gave a remorseful interview to the MoS, they clearly had more on him that would have otherwise come out today. When the story about him assaulting the woman at Harvard (which he is still trying to deny) broke last weekend, there was an Mnetter who worked at StC who posted that that was only the tip of the iceberg with regards to his behaviour.

I remember reading an interview he did with Decca Aitkenhead in the Guardian to mark the first anniversary of Jo Cox's death, and I found it really...remarkable. At the time I admired his apparent desire to use his wife's murder as a force for good, but i did think there was something a bit 'off' about his crusade, for want of a better word. At the time I just thought you never know how grief will manifest itself in individuals and I sort of admired him for his outlook. But of course it was all too good to be true!

Lottapianos · 18/02/2018 20:31

'I remember reading an interview he did with Decca Aitkenhead in the Guardian to mark the first anniversary of Jo Cox's death, and I found it really...remarkable'

I found that interview really odd too. His description of his relationship with Jo sounded like a kind of fairytale, not a relationship between two 'normal' real adults. I put it down to grief and wanting to focus on the best bits of their marriage but looking back , it really was quite odd

UrsulaPandress · 19/02/2018 08:49

I agree. All the coverage of their relationship, and the photos of them with the houseboat, and Jo smiling up at him looked twee in the extreme.

See Amanda Platell and Jo's family are 'standing by him'.

mantlepiece · 19/02/2018 09:32

When Jo Cox was murdered I googled her name to find news about it, and these allegations about Brendan Cox came up then in the search results.

This knowledge certainly coloured my opinion of him every time I saw him in the news. The information about him was known then but I suppose the times were different then.

Backenette · 19/02/2018 09:43

His actions are being minimised - grabbing someone by the throat is violent assault. It’s bring spun as though it was a bit of drunken flirtation.

It’s violent sexual assault. Disgraceful.

Backenette · 19/02/2018 09:47

He's not murdered anyone. Folk should calm down.

If you grab someone by the throat there’s a significant chance you will indeed murder them. It takes quite minimal pressure in just the right place/s to do serious damage, or indeed kill.

Why isn’t he being charged with assault?

RedToothBrush · 19/02/2018 09:56

Jess Phillips is also 'standing by'. Her family are also close to his.

She was on Marr or Peston yesterday saying he had demonstrated he was doing something about it and would change.

I actually feel really uncomfortable about the whole interview because of Jess's involvement with Women's Charity and her entire agenda.

She has a conflict of interest here. Her personal relationship with the man and her professional interest and position.

In effect she undermines a lot of what she fights for, perhaps unwittingly.

Worst still during the same interview she also admitted that she did not know the exact nature of the accusations.

Jess has been advocating others to believe women. Yet when it comes to it, what is happening here?

We've seen it before: my friend / partner etc couldn't possibly do that because I KNOW them. They do good. So those in positions of power are able to use their position and their connections to protect them.

And the woman who isn't in that position of power who made the allegation is ignored or characterised as being a liar or somehow getting it wrong.

The spectacle of Jess Phillips saying 'he'll change', grates. She perhaps has been put into this position by Brendan Cox, where she feels obliged to defend him out of friendship and out of love. Its one thing for Brendan's sister in law to do it, its another for someone in Jess's shoes to do it.

Why don't women leave abusive relationships? How do they defend it.

Jess has obviously chosen her friendship over the women she's stood up to defend so much. Given her job, that's incredibly problematic.

I guess she's thinking of her kids and his kids in all this, but it rather misses how it affects the kids of lots of others.

Shit position for Jess to be in. She's damned either way. But she wouldn't be in it, if Brendan Cox hadn't put her, his kids and her kids in it.

If these allegations were googleable at the time of Jo Cox's death, that makes it even worse. It was always a matter of time, because there is an inevitability that the Mail or another right wing group would go after it eventually.

Thus undermining every bit of the More in Common agenda too.

The more I think about it, the more angry I get. The Oxfam stuff is all the same.

There is institutionalised blindness and a lack of self awareness here.

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Fraying · 19/02/2018 09:57

I wonder if he will be charged now. Perhaps his colleague didn't want to bring the charity into disrepute but now some of the detail has broken there is little left to protect ... except Brendan's lack of a criminal record.
It must be galling to be the women he attacked and to see so many people falling over themselves to accept his self-serving explanations.

LangCleg · 19/02/2018 10:11

She perhaps has been put into this position by Brendan Cox, where she feels obliged to defend him out of friendship and out of love.

Honestly? All these people, including Jess, are covering their current jobs and future job needs.

The corporate charity sector is linked with liberal media and liberal politics. The same group of people are in and out of jobs via nepotism in these sectors. That's why they're all friends with each other. If Jess ever gets voted out as an MP, or if it ever becomes clear she'll never be more than a backbencher, she might want a plum job with Save the Children or Oxfam or or or.

nauticant · 19/02/2018 10:31

I view the interventions of Jess Phillips and Lucy Powell as being motivated by tribalism. Not just party political tribalism, but a broader political and cultural tribalism.

Make no mistake, people like this would have no difficulty selling you down the river for the benefit of someone in their tribe. They'd put on a show of dabbing at their eye with a hanky as the river swept you away but they'd be satisfied that it was all for the best really.

Kikashi · 19/02/2018 11:16

LlangCheng and nauticant I totally agree. The left wing politics/charity sector is very nepotistic - lots of high paying jobs and consultancy work swilling around for the inner circles.

Amanda Platell has also come out in support of Brendan Cox 9as has Michael Gove) so even the right wing seem to be minimising and on side.

His apology smacks of the old ploy of - fall on your sword, go to rehab"/keep your head down and we'll have you back. BC will probably be giving talks on how he changed or running a charity to support men with their "boundaries" in a few years time and being hailed for it and invited on to government taskforces.

derxa · 19/02/2018 11:49

Amanda Platell has also come out in support of Brendan Cox 9as has Michael Gove) so even the right wing seem to be minimising and on side. I think the DM have done a deal with him so that worse does not come out. Amanda P and Gove's wife are DM journalists.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 19/02/2018 11:53

She has a conflict of interest here. Her personal relationship with the man and her professional interest and position.

I agree with that. If this was someone of another political persuasion and not a friend I very much doubt they would be using the tone and words that they are the.

governess · 19/02/2018 12:13

I didnt realise he was doing this before his wife's murder and then it seems continued to be like this, whilst basking in the headlines as being a noble chariddy champion.

I only feel sorry for his kids, they need a Dad - and isnt exactly the greatest role model at the moment.

LifelongVaginaOwner · 19/02/2018 12:19

Jess Phillips' response is particularly problematic given that she explicitly said that Theresa May's friendship with Damien Green (which is a lot longer I believe than hers with Cox) shouldn't influence her response to the allegations against him.

www.politicshome.com/news/uk/political-parties/conservative-party/theresa-may/news/91433/labour-mp-jess-phillips-demands

UrsulaPandress · 19/02/2018 12:23

I thought it had all taken place before Jo's murder not since.

nauticant · 19/02/2018 12:31

I'd qualify that by saying nothing has come to light since Jo Cox's murder. Who knows if it might?

If something has happened since then, you could imagine any victim realising that speaking out would like to them being utterly vilified. Perhaps that's now changed.

RedToothBrush · 19/02/2018 12:38

I am very frustrated by it, as I am broadly speaking, a real fan of Jess Phillips's as an MP.

Its cronyism. Pure and simple.

You have to step back emotionally in situations like this, and not close rank if you don't want to be accused of it. You have to make an active choice to put the duty of position first.

It is the exact thing she accused Theresa May of doing.

It shouldn't be a party political thing.

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derxa · 19/02/2018 12:53

I agree Red She's just made herself look a bit foolish.