What has happened to you in the last year that wouldn’t have happened if you were a man?

[LeslieKnopefan]

As I have become more interested in feminism I have started to realise that there are times that things happen to me that wouldn’t happen to a man.

In the past year...

1. Walked to the toilets in a bar and a group of blokes wouldn’t let me pass, kept making jokes and saying they wouldn’t let me pass without giving my number. I’m in my 30s and this was in a very naice bar!

1. Started a chant at a sports game, and generally sung my heart out. Had a bloke tell me to shut up and other blokes look at me like I was from outer space. On the plus side had some women see me in the pub later and tell me how much they enjoyed me starting the singing.

Met with potential new client trying to break into the uk market. Became increasingly clear he didn’t want to listen to me - fine, clearly I wasn’t saying what he wanted to hear. However, we got to price anyway for a discussion based on what he wanted. I named an extremely low end price as I had previously agreed with his colleague that this would be something of a “mate rate” arrangement due to complicated long term history. He was outraged. Again, fine. But then started a patronising lecture on how he “knows what things cost” and basically sent me off like a little girl being told offforatealjng cookies.

I have absolutely no doubt that if I was a man, he would have been less outraged by price and certainly would not have lectured the man on how to price his services. I have been doing this for A very long time and am fully aware of market rates. It was pretty obvious however that he expected me to be grateful for the work as a “little woman” even though I am clearly experienced and successful.

Smear test

Was breastfeeding a baby hourly during the night. Was exhausted. Got pneumonia. Was rushed to hospital, admitted, and no matter how many times I told the male doctor and two male nurses that I absolutely needed to have either my 5mo baby in with me overnight, or them to get me a pump from maternity, they said no and ignored me. Obviously, by 10 hours later I was in agony, leaking everywhere, and so sore I couldn't move. I had to discharge myself against medical advice the following day.

Been chased down the street when out for a run by a guy who then yelled in my ear to frighten me.

Got pretty good payrise in the annual review, even though I was on maternity leave.
(I was going to say that was a good thing, but I clearly only got it because I'm being underpaid and they are trying to correct it before the company has to release their SEX gender pay gap).

I am a manager of a vape shop. I have over fourtOne of my staff is a six foot, massive 20 year old. I am 5 foot 6 and mid thirties.

I have literally lost count of the amount of men that come into the shop and when I ask them if i can help, they direct their questions to him instead.

Also the assumption that the manager would be a 'he' in the first place.

Sorry another one.....

Worked for a small company and one of the women in the office started bullying me, she was truly awful to me - constantly making snide comments and digs aimed at me and stopping other women in the office from talking to me.

When reporting it to me male boss was told I needed to sort out our petty squabbles between ourselves. No way would this have happened if it had been 2 men.

They only took it seriously when I went off sick with stress and after a meeting where I told them I simply couldn’t come back to work there they accepted they had handled the whole situation badly and gave me a settlement and a reference.

My boss wouldn't have ranted to me about these 'angry #MeToo women' while keeping his hand on my knee.

I wouldn't have stopped running my favourite route because it's secluded and felt dangerous every time I passed a lone male.

Being yelled at by a male neighbour to be careful of his crappy car when I was getting in mine.

Hard to say but I think this situation is a result of being a woman:

I was elected to a senior position in an organisation and around 10% of our members resigned. They were all men and they claim they resigned over an issue that happened a year prior to my election. So the issue happened when a man was in charge and they didn't resign. When I was elected they decided it was important enough to resign over.

yawn

And of course the yawn ... wouldn't happen to a bunch of blokes on dadsnet

Been shouted abuse at a couple of times that l just know wouldn't have happened if ld been a big hairy trucker. Once in my car because l upset his manliness/ alpha male status no doubt, by filtering in front of him in a perfectly safe legal manoeuvre. The second time as a pedestrian l commented to my male neighbour about a badly parked van almost blocking the pavement when the neanderthal driver returned to it and overheard us. He shouted after us 'What was that love?' to which my neighbour shouted back to point out he was blocking the pavement before l got chance.
Neanderthal ran after us straight at me and not neighbour interestingly and started ranting in my face about who did l think l was etc and calling me' love' repeatedly.
He was clearly incandescent with rage that a woman had challenged his parking skills. Didn't so much as acknowledge male neighbour stood at side of me throughout.

Suffice to say l gave him as good as l got and neighbour said afterwards he was glad he didn't have to defend me as l could clearly stick up for myself.

I drive a large MPV. When I'm maneuvering in tight spaces, men like to wave at me and "help" me along. Get out of my way - your ridiculous hand flapping is blocking my view.

At a high end car showroom and being told by the salesman to come back with my DH.
Subsequently bought a beautiful new car from rival brand next door.
Like Pretty Woman but I'm middle aged and rather plain.

I know, diodati - women’s shit is so boring, isn’t it?

Begs the question why you’d click on a link with the subject matter clearly explained in the title though ...

Being told by my then male manager after asking a question using 4 words that I must stop waffling so much. This was in a team meeting of national colleagues. The following question from a male colleague lasted for over 2 mins (I timed it) and manager meekly answered it.

Same manager then refused to let me input into a general discussion later in the meeting and it took one of my male colleagues to ask to hear what I’d got to say.

Had horrendous periods

Was last year but had a window sales man only speak to my husband about choice of windows , even though I was in the room. Only time he spoke to me was to ask for a cup of tea!

Being told I know nothing about cars. I have lived with a mechanic who owns his own business for nearly 23 years!

Only women are nurses.

That my daughters mental health was an issue because I work full time, this actually came from a woman !

Got called a wimp (by a man) for having an epidural during labour.

Got my pill changed without any warning to cheap, shitty Cerelle and now I bleed all the flipping time.

I did also get to carry, birth and feed my beautiful daughter though, so it's not all bad 😍

Haha me too Terf l am actually s*t hot at reverse parking for some reason l just have this good inbuilt sense of space and can do it with inches to spare. I have had several comments over the years but what annoys me is the male commenters will do things like an impromptu round of applause l once got from some roadworkers who told me they'd been taking bets whether ld get in that space. I just smiled and said thanks and walked off but was thinking can you really imagine this type of exchange with a male driver!!

drinks I'd add to your statement 'women are only nurses'. Whenever I tell someone I work in a hospital they always assume I'm a nurse, it's amazing... This included my previous (female) landlord. God knows how many times I corrected her and yet she still can't out with comments like 'you're lucky working 9 til 5, that's really unusual for a nurse'.

Oh yes I forgot, my midwife commented that I was very organised so was I a PA? No way that would have been the assumption for man.

I could have died from an ectopic. Although this maybe something men can do now?

Rape threats on twitter.

Twitter yesterday where a male child tried to say men needed refuges just as much as women and ignored the answer and the research.

Explain to my carer why I don't agree with self identification and the problems it causes/will cause.

He's currently on holiday, we have agreed to leave the conversation on whether a man can be a feminist until after he gets home.

Being completely dismissed at the residents meeting only for a man to hepeat exactly what I said and others to agree with him!

Not being able to walk to work without at least three comments/approaches in the morning.

Having to take one day off a month for extreme period pain.

Rape & Death threats online.

My husband being referred to as Dr and me Mrs - hubby actually responded 'sorry which Dr Surname do you wish to speak to, shes the world expert currently but I have greater free time'. I feel lucky to have married him everyday.

Go to extra efforts to find a parking space close to my work place because there's some unsavoury types in the area and I don't want to walk across a huge badly lit car park late at night. I always have my keys in my hand as a matter of course to defend myself with something.

Had a medical termination (which I didn't really want to do but felt I had to have so I can look after the DC I already have - this wasn't really part of DPs factors in deciding). Deal with the physical and mental after-effects, including bleeding, depression, internal examinations, weeping daily, and horrendous back ache that nearly stopped me going to my shit 'woman' job. DP accused me of having an affair when I was distant and told me I should 'just get over it and move on' on what would have been my due to date.

Started some exercise to deal with the above mentioned back ache and lost a bit of weight and was told by DP that I shouldn't loose too much because my arse was getting to the lower end of the weight scale of what he found attractive.

Been told that the Labour/ trans issue is just a philosophical debate, not a real issue, a minor issue, and that if I don't set aside my feminism and vote Labour I will be personally destroying the NHS and I will have done this to the detriment of my children.

Having to share a post natal ward with other womens male partners (mine was at home with our other kids) because "women need their husbands".

No, after giving birth women need privacy and safety. Those who need their partners there should be on seperate wards from mothers on their own.

Pretty sure men complaining about mixed wards would be listened to.