Which women-only spaces do you use, and how would their removal affect you?

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I am new to this. I’m struggling to think of any, personally.

At the swimming pool, I use communal showers with my costume on, then change in a cubicle. At the gym, I tend to just walk home in my sweaty clothes rather than use the communal shower/changing area - I’d love for cubicles to be put in and change in the toilets if I have to. I used to change in changing rooms at an old gym but felt uncomfortable.

I don’t use the women-only slot at the doctors or the pool (though would if the timing suited me better). I have private healthcare so had a private room last time I had an operation; prior to that I’ve had an uneventful stay in a mixed ward (with the exception of a children’s ward with a violent eight year old boy). I’ve never been in prison. Some of my gym classes tend to be women only, but men can, and sometimes do join. I’ve been in a book club with mostly women and one man. My doctors are male, including a gynaecologist. Didn’t go to boarding school; did stay in an allocated all-girls room on school trips, but an allocated mixed room on uni trips.

I do use women’s toilets but have no issue with using gender neutral ones and prefer cubicles with their own mirror and sink. At hostels I’ve always paid for private rooms because I wouldn’t want to share with men or women (and if it came to it, would choose whichever was quietest/emptiest).

Am I missing anywhere?

I'm also sad about youth hostels - which still have unisex dormitories. I've used these a lot, also with my daughters. Will feel much less happy doing so if men may be in there.

Many years ago I was attacked by a transwoman (not operated on) who was in the youth hostel dormitory with me (just the 2 of us). I had no idea they were a transwoman. I annoyed him by switching on the light, and he jumped out of bed, punched me extremely hard, and threw all my belongings out of the room. He was banned by the Youth Hostel Association, but when I went to a different youth hostel the next weekend, he was there again, in my women's only dormitory. I was told that he had been caught in a women's public toilets, exposing his penis to a girl, and was cycling around the county with his collection of sex toys.
At that time it was youth hostel policy for transpeople to have their own private room.

I for one am not attacking you. Posting a different viewpoint is not attacking. I don't think you have to experience something to feel empathy.

Have you changed your position now?
You avoided my question about mixed psychiatric wards.

Isn't roller derby a contact sport?

But this needs to be discussed.

I don’t see why you wouldn’t use single sex spaces, but I am interested to know.

I don’t like using unisex toilets because I don’t want to sit in wee-spray.

I don’t want someone with an adult penis getting naked in a changing room next to my 10 yo.

I want to be able to call out a man in a dress in a female space.

Life experience has taught me many men are not be trusted. That they will embarrass for sport, or humiliate to feel powerful.

I want my girls to be represented by people who understand their lives, who have compassion and empathy.

Crow having never been in a psych ward I have no direct experience however I wouldn’t like to be locked up with either gender/sex

I agree birds - I posted to hear other viewpoints and have agreed with various people’s points

Thats an evasion, isnt it.

Would not sleep in mixed sex hostel dorm

I have done. There were two women (me being one) and a bloke - who woke me up by masturbating noisily in the night. I felt very vulnerable. Would not do that again!

I have worked on a mixed psychiatric ward before it went single sex, some of the female patients would remove clothing when in the throes of a manic / psychotic episode, as well as other more intimate behaviours, a good example i feel for retaining single sex provision

Right okay, but you started off by saying ‘these things don’t affect me, do they really affect you? I don’t think they affect many people at all’.
So do you now seeing that it does affect people, many people?
I have never been raped or sexually assaulted, but I can understand how that would seriously affect women who have.

I live in France and the local swimming pools and spa centres are always mixed. TBH I don't think there is any security problem as all changing cubicles and toilets have lockable doors and showers are individual and lockable. With people moving through all the time, I have never felt awkward. Well, no more than in the pool iyswim.

I once used an overnight train with a sleeper section. I booked my bed in a mixed carriage not knowing what to expect. Six beds in a room the size of normal carriage. I read a book and closed off my light. Terrible smell and funny noises. I didn't sleep a wink. Never to be repeated.

Also had male midwives (good), gynaecologists (universally awful) and GPs (mixed).

Agree with others, that just because in general I'm am personally not phased with mixed facilities, it's not something to base a policy on.

Interesting to read the posts on here and reflect on how often women-only spaces are actually used in daily life, professional life, health, hobbies, education, travel... Much wider than just toilets and shelters.

Hospital wards. Regardless of my circumstances I would not stay on a mixed ward if even I had crawl out. On a psychiatric ward, it would be torture especially given the root of my mental health issues (although I've never needed in patient care).

Smear tests/other intimate exams. If it's not an emergency childbirth situation I want a biological woman. At the moment given my history, the NHS offer that without me asking for it. If they stopped, I would probably stop engaging.

Toilets unless they are individual cubicles with sinks etc inside and floor to ceiling walls. The same for changing rooms.

I have been searched by a man. At the time I didn't have a choice and he was fine but it's not an experience I wish to repeat.

Prisons definitely. I've never been locked up and I hope I never am however I've worked with plenty of women who have been in prison for various things. Most of their issues have men as a root cause, rape, prostitution, childhood abuse, locking them up with people capable of doing similar is beyond cruel.

OP - you are protecting yourself against some of these situations, by buying private rooms / medical treatment. So not a typical experience at all.
How will boarding schools work - secondary level boarding schools ime separate boys and girls, in fact they put them in separate boarding houses. Presumably the dormitories may now become mixed? A boy could complain of unlawful discrimination if he is put in a room by himself, while girls share together.

Changing room at the gym (no cubicles) - I wouldn't go if there were men in there.

Smear test - wouldn't go if it was done by a man

Single sex showers in youth hostel with flimsy curtain - I wouldn't shower if there were men in there

Public toilets - I wouldn't go (which would restrict my ability to actually go out) if there were men in there.

Midwife - I couldn't exactly hold the baby in but would have been very uncomfortable with a male midwife.

Ward after birth - would have discharged myself if there had been men staying overnight - visitors were bad enough.

I'm sure there are lots more, but the most important one IMO is statistics - as soon as statistics aren't divided by sex, the pay gap no longer exists, violence statistics become meaningless, sexism ceases to exist...

My gym has no communal changing areas. They had a huge refurb and locals and members were consulted about the changing areas if people wanted them remaining communal or single sex. There have been a few murmurs of complaints recently but, they were reminded by other users everyone was asked and they were members at the time.

Single-sex wards should be standard. I've stayed on both single and mix sexed and after I had an op and was on the mix sex ward I felt very, very vulnerable. Next op I was very distressed at the thought of mixed-sex ward to the point that I wouldn't have had the surgery.

Toilets should have fully closed cubicles anyway. Think it's ridiculous they don't. And with fully sealed doors.

All my psychiatric care is with females. Nurse, doctor and group. It was something one of the nurses and then the psychiatrist both fought for. I am very thankful for this. It's also been passed to my surgery and again, only the females speak with me and of course on my medical notes and crisis plan.

Girl guides should remain for girls who were born girls.

Women's Aid. Again, by sex, not gender.

Sports 3 categories. Men, Women, Transgender.

I have used single-sex changing rooms and toilets to escape to when I have seen my very violent ex. I have also used them in the past when I have been doing an everyday activity and something has gotten on top of me. It might seem weird that I run to the loo for a safe space, but where else is there to go?

the curtain nonsense in dressing rooms should also be ripped down and replaced with a door. Clearly, there's space so why not just put a door there in the first place?

I sometimes go to a female only club. Sometimes we just want to have a drink and a dance without being harassed. They operate like raves did back in the day, have cryptic clues and whispered calls to arrive to the final destination.

Personal care. There has to be dignity for the person having the personal care, and any person who is over say 11, should have their needs taken care of by someone who is there own sex. Or younger if the person/guardian has a preference. It is hard though because there aren't enough male carers so males are still looked after by females.

I had a fun time when in a sleeping car on a train, when I was a student travelling alone - a man repeatedly going into my carriage and pestering me for sex

In Iceland public swimming pools are hugely popular (like going to the pub here). It is compulsory to shower naked before going into the pool. That'll be fun.

I always ask for a female doctor for anything concerning my biology. I like changing rooms to be single sex (both in shops and gyms).

More importantly (to me) my daughter plays netball- a female only sport - competitively. She chose Netball specifically because it was girls only as mixed sports always ended up with boys monopolising things and telling the girls how to do it “properly “. She is also a Guide for similar reasons.

@birdsdestiny I have never been raped so would not feel traumatised by a penis in a changing room ( although I wouldn't like it) So none of those things affect me. However I do care about the women that they do affect. To not care about those women would make me a bit of an arse I think.

To play Devil's Advocate for all those who say they're cool with seeing penis in a communal female changing room...

I assume you mean one where people are just busy getting changed, yes?

• What about if the man is just sat there, and every time you glance up, he's staring at you?
• What about if one of those times he suddenly gets up and approaches you quickly when you are reaching for your knickers?
• What about if he suddenly gets up and locks himself in a cubicle (you can add strange grunty noises to that if you like)
• What if his hand is not quite visible, say in his lap under a pile of clothes? What about if your daughter, niece, grandmother, religious friend etc was you? (and I appreciate birds* did point out she cared about women who are affected)

There is this weird notion that everyone who is up in arms about the trans thing is doing it just to get at the 'normal' people in life who are just using the facility like we are. We're not. We're thinking about how it will allow any kind of deviant perv to ride on the coattails of new rules and specifically use it to get their kicks. Because they don't come with labels for us to identify them from the normal folk so it's a general precautionary measure designed to maximise the safety of women from predatory men. It's actually got very little indeed to do with transgender people...

I really don't give a crap about changing in front of men, and I don't understand why you're asking all these questions about masturbation. Communal changing rooms aren't sexy and it's a weird idea that people are there because they're interested in seeing you naked, rather than just because they're getting changed themselves. We don't ban lesbians or gay men from single-sex changing rooms so I'm not sure why the assumption is there about men changing with women.

I have used women-only gyms, swimming sessions, saunas and similar. I would simply stop using them if men were allowed. I visited a friend who was in a psych ward and I met her in a lounge area that was mixed. A man there kept screaming at me and I felt quite unsafe because nobody seemed to be around checking on him. I can't imagine how it would feel if the whole ward was mixed. I had a smear test recently, if I had been unable to see a female nurse I would have cancelled. We have a TIM locally who is known to be agressive towards women and who likes to show his bits off. I would be extremely uncomfortable if my daugters and I had to share toilets or any private space with him. I am planning to send my daughters to single-sex schools, because in my experience sexual harassment is rife and schools don't care. I grew up thinking boys feeling girls up was normal and I don't want that for my children. Unfortunately I don't think anyone gives a shit if women like me are shut out of gyms and the likes .

I can see this isn’t the place for me.

No, please stick around.

I have led a pretty charmed life. I've not used a rape crisis center, a woman's refuge or been in a psychiatric hospital. I've shared dorms with blokes and no one masturbated, and I've never hidden in the loos from a guy in a club (although like everyone I've had my fair share of harrassment). I married to a great guy, and although I have witness despicable behaviour from some men I know, generally I am surrounded by fairly sound blokes.

But

I have been thinking about this. For a smear test I would absolutely expect a female nurse. If I didn't know that the nurse at my surgery was a female, I would definitely request one. When I was in Labour the entire hospital, male and female, was looking up my vag and I didn't care, but for a smear test, where I am not trying to get a human out surrounded by people, I would want a woman. If I requested a woman and a TIM or, under self ID, a man rocked up, I would not be happy.

A few months ago, I had a lump in my breast examined by my GP. I wanted a female but there weren't any available and as I really wanted it checked I just went for the male, fine. He had a chaperone (one of the receptionists) and afterwards it occurred to me: if that chaperone had been a TIM (or man) I would have been in there two men having my bare breasts felt.

In addition to all this, in the end it doesn't really matter if self ID will affect me personally: no woman in a rape crisis centre, women's refuge, prison, changing room or toilet should be forced to share that space with someone with a penis if they don't want to. That's it really.

Sorry, that was long!

I use public toilets and work toilets which are single-sex. I wouldn't use them at all if they became unisex.

My DD plays a team sport and is old enough to play for the ladies team now. If they admitted a TIM, she would have to stop playing a) because it would be too dangerous for her to play and b) because it would be a safeguarding issue with a TIM potentially sharing the changing rooms with girls who are under 18s. I'm wondering if the sports bodies have considered this cross over age group when U18s play on adult teams.

On a female ward after a surgical abortion. I was very young and there were much younger girls. I would have hated to be on a mixed ward.

We don't ban lesbians or gay men from single-sex changing rooms so I'm not sure why the assumption is there about men changing with women.

Are you joking? Do you ever read the news?