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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Thought "feminist" meant women standing with women, was I so wrong?

129 replies

ShineyNewName99 · 29/01/2018 20:42

Today, I really needed someone by my side. I was challenging in person some pretty dubious characters in respect of speaking truth in a difficult situation (think what you like). Sent a call out for "wimmin" to stand with me what did I find? Resounding echoes of silence........

Except........................

In a small corner of an otherwise unknown universe a saviour appeared.

In the form of an Anglican Chaplain, (yes a man) who lent his calm and compassionate self in a most trying situation, with no agenda, no dogma, just a desire to support and empower a person in pain.

Lesson learnt - never rely on the "sisterhood" they always let you down.....

OP posts:
birdbandit · 29/01/2018 21:04

Are there going to be dragons in this story?

Original poster
ShineyNewName99 · 29/01/2018 21:05

Well done ladies for proving my point.

The situation I described above actually happened today, I was in an unprecedented situation of facing off against a behemoth of an organisation i.e. the higher echelons of a university (think VP) with regard to the insidious "transgender" agenda within the establishment. I went to express my deepest concerns about the long term impact of this "vanity project".

I asked people i.e. women whom I thought were "supporters" to chaperone me and take notes in case I got in difficulties in this endeavour.

Not one woman came to my aid.

Instead this very mild mannered and compassionate soul came to stand beside me as I stated my case for the protection of vulnerable students in an increasingly toxic world.

I am not a "religious" type by nature although would go out on a limb to say I am a spiritual and was deeply perturbed that women who shout the loudest in an anonymous echo chambers were nowhere to be found in the "real" world

OP posts:
SlowlyShrinking · 29/01/2018 21:10

Was it because he couldn’t get sacked for being there, and women employed by the uni potentially could? That could explain their reluctance

titchy · 29/01/2018 21:10

Sadly I suspect that was because they didn't want to lose their jobs not because they didn't believe your cause.

AssassinatedBeauty · 29/01/2018 21:12

This thread does not "prove your point". Your OP was essentially incomprehensible, hence the confusion and puzzled responses.

You're not a feminist, yet you're disappointed that the "sisterhood" didn't support you? If you're not a feminist why was it disappointing that a man was available to help?

Original poster
ShineyNewName99 · 29/01/2018 21:12

If that is the case then women are already fighting a lost cause?

OP posts:
Datun · 29/01/2018 21:15

OP, many women are terrified the will be labelled transphobic and fired for going against the trans agenda.

It's saddening, but understandable.

Original poster
ShineyNewName99 · 29/01/2018 21:15

No I am not a feminist Assassinated, the reason? I do not ascribe to labels other than those that are empirically available to us prior to moving on to the synthesis of ideological thinking. Ooo that was fun

OP posts:
titchy · 29/01/2018 21:16

If that is the case then women are already fighting a lost cause?

In a small group situation in that sort of environment, yes. However as part of a much larger movement there's a certain amount of protection.

To be blunt, I work in a university. There is no way on earth I would put my head above the parapet at work. Maybe in 10 15 years when I've paid off the mortgage, but I cannot financially or emotionally afford to be sacked or to fight it. I fought my last employer for sex discrimination, successfully, but it was incredibly difficult to deal with, and I had support from colleagues friends and family.

I did donate though, in my real name, and would happily march for the cause. Safety in numbers.

AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 29/01/2018 21:16

Your cake is well iced matey. Shove it in yer geggy

CisMyArse · 29/01/2018 21:17

Flippin 'eck OP. We're used to MN'ers flouncing off a thread but you've positively frothed and flounced ON to your thread. All this 'wimmin' bollocks hasn't helped neither.

Fact is, folk (men and women wimmin) are in fear of their jobs, such as the state of affairs in many established workplaces. Instead of sticking the boot in, why not extend your clear analystical intellect to examine why they were so silent.

Original poster
ShineyNewName99 · 29/01/2018 21:17

Datun, in that case as stated earlier it is a lost cause and you may as well give up any claims to "womanhood". If women are not prepared to stand up and say "hang on peeps, this cannot be right" the frankly we deserve everything we get. If women are not prepared as the homosexuals did "come out of the closet" then how the hell can this "battle" be won?

OP posts:
CisMyArse · 29/01/2018 21:18

*analytical

AssassinatedBeauty · 29/01/2018 21:18

I think I may be realising why none of the "sisterhood" answered your call.

FirstShinyRobe · 29/01/2018 21:19

All slightly oddly expressed, OP! I'm sorry, though, that you didn't get the support you needed.

I am frequently puzzled when people who say they are feminists actively act against their own interests as women, such as plopping on trans threads etc. In fact, I have often asked what their feminism is based on, albeit with no response.

I'm not so surprised when women don't stick their heads above the parapet and are passively accepting, especially in scenarios where they have a lot to lose. Sad that this will likely mean that alternative agendas will prevail.

Well done for fighting the fight!

Original poster
ShineyNewName99 · 29/01/2018 21:22

CisMyArse et al, yes this is a kick up the jacksee and quite rightly so. Noticed within such forum (fora?) megalithic outrage at current state of play but very few e.g. JJ et al actually prepared to do something about it. We can go around in circles ad infinitum and achieve sweet FA. Time to actually connect and rise up?

OP posts:
Original poster
ShineyNewName99 · 29/01/2018 21:25

Also do you not think my future prospects have been compromised by actually calling out this BS? Some things are more important than a bank balance

OP posts:
Goldenbug · 29/01/2018 21:27

You could have said what you wanted without sounding like you've swallowed a Russell Brand.

SweetGrapes · 29/01/2018 21:29

Sure. But what food in your children's mouths? Depends what's at stake for the individual and whether they personally got what you were doing/saying.

Original poster
ShineyNewName99 · 29/01/2018 21:30

Perhaps Goldenbug but at least it got a response. I guess what I am trying to say in my kak handed way is that if women are not prepared to put themselves on the line for things they know are the truth, they why bother to exist at all? I made a conscious decision that truth was more important than fiction and if that costs me my job then sobeit

OP posts:
ArcheryAnnie · 29/01/2018 21:35

There's any number of reasons why women did not answer your call, OP.

1 - it was incomprehensible. (Your posts here certainly are, for the most part.)

2 - it was inconvenient. Perhaps your gentle chaplain didn't have a full time job plus kids to pick up plus shopping to do plus overthrowing the patriarchy, and thus had the time and energy to respond to your last-minute call for help.

3 - it was risky. Your "saviour" is unlikely to be sacked for providing support to you. Women know that if they are vocal on this issue in public, they will be villified, threatened, and may be sacked.

Women are taking action in the real world, and in some cases it is costing us dearly. In other cases, we are making progress. Just because you don't experience it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

I hope you get support in future, OP, but berating women for their lack of sisterhood isn't going to help.

titchy · 29/01/2018 21:38

It doesn't have to be your way or nothing though. Seriously well done for making a stand. We need to. And we need brave women like you who are prepared to do that.

But not all of us can for a myriad of reasons. But perhaps we can support and make a difference in other ways. Telling your VC they're wrong isn't particularly effective ime - I think personally there are better ways of achieving your aim.

ArcheryAnnie · 29/01/2018 21:38

is that if women are not prepared to put themselves on the line for things they know are the truth, they why bother to exist at all?

Do you somehow think that we all on this board are your colleagues in disguise, and should have risen up in person to support you?

We're all over the country, doing our own thing, often in difficult circumstances. Some of us are out, and it isn't easy, but we are doing it anyway. Some of us are not out yet, because it's too risky, but we are dipping our toes in the water. Just because you are the only one out in your place of work doesn't mean you are the only one out at all.

Original poster
ShineyNewName99 · 29/01/2018 21:46

Ok ok I stand berated. In truth it was the most frightened and intimidating experience I have even found myself in. Yes I had spoken with colleagues ahead of said event (who wouldn't) but sadly they were unprepared to take a stance for what they knew is the truth. Yes I am angry, yes I am frustrated, my career may well be effectively over but had just one person stood by my side it may well have been worth it. I guess I will just have to get used to standing in the welfare line from here on in? And yes I am incredibly thankful to the Chaplain who actually did some out in support in the absence of others.

OP posts:
Gacapa · 29/01/2018 21:49

Have you considered that they didn't support you because they had no idea what you were asking them to do?

Seriously OP, are you this confrontational and obtuse in real life?

Confused