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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Lesbian women should be open to having sex with transwomen but straight men is a different matter

68 replies

MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 03/01/2018 14:50

My friend is in an online debate with a guy from work.
She is lesbian, he is straight.
He is saying that sexual preferences are fine as long as they don’t exclude trans people.
She is saying her sexuality is not a preference but innate to her, she is a lesbian and she cannot be intimate with someone who has a penis.
He replies that she is transphobic.
He then has lots of SJW friends come along and trot out the “trans women are women” line, over and over. For hours.
To which she responds along the lines of “so if trans women are women would you as a straight man, sleep with one?”

The replies go silent for an hour or so and then suddenly in a steady stream of obviously coordinated attack, they come back with shouts of her being a bigot, how straight cis men are socially different to lesbians, no one who doesn’t want to have sex with a penis should be forced to - how dare she? Was she advocating rape? She is a lesbian transphobe bigot for not wanting to have sex with a trans person with a dick.
Her body is designed to receive and his is not. Some women have a penis and she needs to get over that if she wants to be a good lesbian.

Where the fuck is the logic in this? It positively reeks of homophobia.

If straight men and lesbian women are both attracted to women. And, in their world transwomen are women, why is it transphobic for a lesbian to refuse to sleep with a TW but bigotry to suggest a straight man should be open to the same thing?

OP posts:
Ereshkigal · 03/01/2018 20:08

The replies go silent for an hour or so and then suddenly in a steady stream of obviously coordinated attack, they come back with shouts of her being a bigot, how straight cis men are socially different to lesbians, no one who doesn’t want to have sex with a penis should be forced to - how dare she? Was she advocating rape? She is a lesbian transphobe bigot for not wanting to have sex with a trans person with a dick.
Her body is designed to receive and his is not. Some women have a penis and she needs to get over that if she wants to be a good lesbian.

That's fucking hideous homophobia and misogyny.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 03/01/2018 20:12

I’m not it sure if she wants to engage further although she has had a huge amount needed support from people calling the other side out as homophobic and themselves transphobic

Sorry but did you mean a huge amount of needed support ? Ie others apart from the person called Sean McManus supported her?

Ereshkigal · 03/01/2018 20:25

If her body is designed to receive penises, is she in fact being exclusionary by not letting straight men fuck her too? They might have had really tough lives.

NotSupposedtobeHere · 03/01/2018 20:31

He could get her fired.

On the contrary. He is harassing her, and inciting others to harass her.

I hope she’s keeping screen shots.

Is this happening in Work time? Is he using Work equipment or servers?

She should report him to HR.

HermioneWeasley · 03/01/2018 20:34

If he’s a work colleague I would screen shot it and make a formal complaint of homophobic bullying.

Ereshkigal · 03/01/2018 20:45

It's much much rarer Lass for men either gay or straight to be accused of having transphobic genital preferences. And it generally gets howled down in male outrage. It is constant for lesbians.

Ereshkigal · 03/01/2018 20:51

Hermione

I brought up a similar scenario on another thread as a hypothetical of how the protected characteristic "sexual orientation" might be considered to clash with "gender reassignment". I would very much hope a court would treat homosexuality as same sex and not same gender attraction in a harassment case but i imagine it could be challenged in the same way as "woman" is being.

Original poster
MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 03/01/2018 20:52

Those screen shots aren’t from the “debate” my friend is having.

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 03/01/2018 20:59

Is this happening in Work time? Is he using Work equipment or servers?

Neither of them should be doing this in work time. They should not be using work equipment or servers whether in their own time or work time.

guardianfree · 03/01/2018 21:04

And in many professions / workplaces, what you say on social media can and often will be used against you (it'll be in your contract!)

Original poster
MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 03/01/2018 22:09

They are not doing it during work hours, at least she isn’t. I don’t know his shift patterns.

OP posts:
Thehairthebod · 03/01/2018 22:42

Absolutely agree that if this guy is her work colleague she should screen shot it all and report him for homophobic harrassment.

Gacapa · 03/01/2018 23:13

You know, I am so fucking sick of men. They can basically just twist anything to accommodate their own parameters AND fetishes. I'd be willing to bet that a good portion of those men have actually gone away and fantasied about all sorts of scenarios with "a woman with a dick". They just don't admit it.

My last boyfriend was all right on with the trans stuff. I realised it was it was because he is basically a voracious misogynistic old man who is transfixed by his long gone youth, by his image of himself as a heartbreaker and yearns from time to time to bring "a bit of cock into the vicinity". I found transsexual porn in amongst his DVD collection. I think many so called straight men are so fascinated with their own cocks (especially those who love to make it known they worship their own larger than average specimens) and it means they aren't gay as such, but love to push pornified boundaries.

I think there are straight men out there who get off on transwomen as a seedy fetish. They can't stand to face their probable bisexuality as they are alpha male conquests types. But they love a bit of cock. That's why they love stuff such as bukkake. And they go to bi orgies.

The most shocking thing I learned about my ex, was that long before he met me, he'd gone to a stag do and fucked two prostitues on the stage of a working men's club, in front of 60 men, came all over the women's faces and described it as his proudest moment ever. He wanted his cock worshipped. He wanted to be depraved. I couldn't ever get over that revelation and the degredation of those two women. I think he's a deeply narcissistic man, who has compulsions that have now left him a pathetic loser stocked up on viagra and using porn daily.

What I'm getting at is Lesbians by their very definition are not interested in sexual intimacy with males. But there will be a sizeable non-vocal majority of men who will fetishise the penis and use transwomen.

Nobody wins. Except the men.

Ereshkigal · 04/01/2018 00:05

Gacapa Thanks what a horrible fucker.

ReanimatedSGB · 04/01/2018 00:20

I think that it would be impossible to make it a legal requirement that anyone has to accept any specific individual as a sexual partner. Choosing who you will and will not have sex with is the one area where it really is OK to be as much of a bigot as you want. (OK, you shouldn't be rude or blatantly offensive about it if you eg do not want to date people of a specific ethnic background, for example.) But plenty of people happily declare they won't date Tories/meat-eaters/atheists/police officers and that's up to them.

So, yeah, this workmate and his sockpuppets are all asshats.

powershowerforanhour · 04/01/2018 01:06

Good points by PPs- being a man he's probably got a bigger mouth and hands, therefore better designed to give blowjobs and handjobs to the ladydick.

Gacapa · 04/01/2018 01:17

And given the number of men who want anal sex - what's the problem?

Duplicitous crap. Warped. Another manifestation of misogyny and homophobia and, as I said, throw in illicit titilation into the toxic mix.

RestingGrinchFace · 04/01/2018 01:25

It's homophobia. Either everyone is entitled to anatomical preferences or no one is.

thebewilderness · 04/01/2018 01:34

2nd rule of misogyny: Women saying no to men is a hate crime.
I agree he is sexually harassing her and she needs to report him and include screenshots.

IrkThePurist · 04/01/2018 02:06

Homophobia is a hate crime as well as an act of gross misconduct.

PositivelyPERF · 04/01/2018 02:29

She should ask him if he would have sex with a TIF? After all 'he' still has a vagina meant for receiving. If the vagina is the most important thing how can he say no. If he says that he would, then ask him when he first realised he was gay. Well he wants to have sex with a vagina owning TIM, so he must be gay or transphobic if he thinks that's not a real man.

Fifi5000 · 04/01/2018 09:10

Agree she should report him. Clear homophobic language unacceptable from a colleague even outside of work.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 04/01/2018 09:38

Those screen shots seem like some kind of parody...

AstraiaLiberty · 04/01/2018 10:51

Saying that because a woman's body is 'designed to receive' a lesbian shouldn't have a problem with sex with penises is just old-fashioned homophobia. I find it horrifying that this is seen by some people as progressive.

I came across this Reddit thread where a straight man is talking about not being attracted to TIMs. I thought the responses were encouraging until I realised that if the thread had been posted by a lesbian, the comments would probably be very different. www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/7no7hf/serious_why_am_i_not_interested_in_sleeping_with/