Lesbian women should be open to having sex with transwomen but straight men is a different matter

[MakeMisogynyAHateCrime]

My friend is in an online debate with a guy from work.
She is lesbian, he is straight.
He is saying that sexual preferences are fine as long as they don’t exclude trans people.
She is saying her sexuality is not a preference but innate to her, she is a lesbian and she cannot be intimate with someone who has a penis.
He replies that she is transphobic.
He then has lots of SJW friends come along and trot out the “trans women are women” line, over and over. For hours.
To which she responds along the lines of “so if trans women are women would you as a straight man, sleep with one?”

The replies go silent for an hour or so and then suddenly in a steady stream of obviously coordinated attack, they come back with shouts of her being a bigot, how straight cis men are socially different to lesbians, no one who doesn’t want to have sex with a penis should be forced to - how dare she? Was she advocating rape? She is a lesbian transphobe bigot for not wanting to have sex with a trans person with a dick.
Her body is designed to receive and his is not. Some women have a penis and she needs to get over that if she wants to be a good lesbian.

Where the fuck is the logic in this? It positively reeks of homophobia.

If straight men and lesbian women are both attracted to women. And, in their world transwomen are women, why is it transphobic for a lesbian to refuse to sleep with a TW but bigotry to suggest a straight man should be open to the same thing?

She has full screen shots of everything from the conversation. And screen shots of his profile to prove it was him should he change any details. She is deciding what to do with the information, she has some complicated issues in her life at the moment so I don’t know if she is ready for a battle.

This whole thing in general is like some kind of weird conversion therapy. As if someone pushing their continued narrative on a topic will force you to believe the same - lest you end up on the wrong side of history, of course.

I think there has been some confusion about the screen shots up thread. They weren’t posted by me and are in no way linked to my friend. I think the poster was showing that this kind of fight of social media is far from unusual. I see similar on Twitter from time to time.

Did anyone see this (it's old now)?

There are a few videos up from TIMs who like straight men.

I tell you what, if any conversion is going to happen, it's going to be me converting to Lesbianism. Is there anything less attractive than a misogynistic man?

I honestly don't get it. Those young men, presumably not virgins, will know exactly what a woman smells and tastes like. And looks like. And how their anatomy works.

Being confronted with your own genitalia has got to be the biggest shock in the world.

Plus the deliberate deceit of course.

I, personally, could not fancy a woman even if she had the most realistic penis. But maybe men, who are a little more to do with appearances, might feel differently with a neovagina.

But it still begs the question of why should they be expected to get over any kind of hurdle, when there are plenty of natal vaginas.

And, I'm also not sure that knowing that someone hates their body to the extent that they want to change it so drastically, is much of a turn on.

Self obsession does not generally make for longevity in relationships.

The comments were quite telling. No one expected the men to be interested, they were not called bigots and / or told to lose any prejudice re penises.

I think it'll manifest slightly differently. I think a sizeable minority of straight men will be secretly frothing at their bits to secretly fuck transwomen. They won't admit to it of course. Except the cringy oversexed types who secretly crave cock as a narcissistic mirror worship of their own.

But the transwomen want lesbians.

Nobody cares what women want, regardless. As long as men - under whatever guise - demand or secretly lust after what they can achieve for their porno fantasies.

Many straight men, who wouldn't be interested in a man in a romantic sense, worship cock. It's why they love bukkake and MMF threesomes. They don't even have to touch another man's cock.

bambambini that's shocking those screen shots!

Gacapa I am so glad you are free of that horrible man! I really think you are on to something. Several men may well be happy to be bisexual, to be attracted to trans women or anyone else. I don't have a problem with that, as long as they are honest about their previous partners if that is important for their current partner, etc.

Plus just because a male says he is happy to have sex with a trans woman doesn't mean I want to, or I think other straight women should or should not (I am straight) or that lesbians should feel in any way at all coerced to sleep with anyone.

ReanimatedSGB "I think that it would be impossible to make it a legal requirement that anyone has to accept any specific individual as a sexual partner. Choosing who you will and will not have sex with is the one area where it really is OK to be as much of a bigot as you want..." Well I completely agree, of course but I would say that it is not in the slightest bit bigoted. It is a legitimate choice.

IMHO no one (especially women) should even refer to it as bigoted - even in jest. But of course I do know what you mean.

"(OK, you shouldn't be rude or blatantly offensive about it if you eg do not want to date people of a specific ethnic background, for example.) " Personally, how rude you are (in my opinion) should be based around how rude the person asking you to have sex with them is. If you need to be rude to get your point across then you may choose to do so. But I think just 'No' should suffice in all matters of unwanted sexual contact.

And very, very sadly, there is still enforced marriage in many places and even in the USA (which utterly shocked me) there are places where children can be married (how can a child legally give permission for themselves to be married). Soo that means that it seems to be 'legal' for someone (parents) to decide who their child should have sex with, which is another issue (of course) but is utterly abhorrent and a reminder just how sick our world is!

So not Soo...

Someone mentioned very fundamental Christian beliefs about what is expected of women. I've been lucky as a Christian to actually feel valued and empowered to have my own boundaries.

I also think @MakeMisogynyAHateCrime your friend should be careful who she engages with, for her own protection/good mental health.

He is her work colleague sounds utterly shit! So this all sound highly inappropriate even if none of it is at work or on work devices! Inappropriate from him (homophobic and rapey).

Lots of sexual talk and perhaps your friend feeling brow beaten and upset, talk on line must be very draining. It's always OK to walk away from this if she wants to. She does not owe anyone an answer on line, IMHO.

Lesbians love vaginas!!!! I will repeat: lesbians love vaginas. Vaginas turn lesbians on. Vaginas, clitorises,labia the whole vulva. We love the touch feel and smell of women. Including their sex organs. We DO NOT like men and male sex organs. If we did we wouldn't be lesbians

Men who want to fuck/be fucked by transwoman are not heterosexual

There are a lot of men passing as straight out there.

I used to have a lesbian student who would tattoo her hand with a “no penis” sign. Lesbians are not interested in penises, why is that hard to understand?

It isn't necessarily wrong for ciswomen and transwomen to have sex with each other. There are people whose sexuality is fluid/'open to offers' and it's not impossible for people to fall for someone who is the 'wrong' gender (ie not the gender they usually find attractive). Sometimes these discussions do seem to go a bit too far towards the direction of 'trans bodies are revolting and NO ONE would find a trans person sexy.' This is not the case.
But no one is obliged to date or have sex with anyone they are not attracted to: a simple'No thanks' should be enough.

But none of us are "ciswomen" here Reanimated
Who are you directing your comment to?

It is interesting that the popular view of lesbians sees them as anti penis rather than very attracted to womens genitalia and het men fetishise particular breasts and a very instrumental view of womens bodies all over but rarely consider the smells, fluids and creasy bits attractive or sexy ... I need to rephrase that, but its something I've been thinking about.

There is no such thing as a cis woman. We are human beings, not isomers.
If a simple no thank you sufficed there would be a lot fewer threads about men who refuse to take no for an answer. People who refuse to take no for an answer are not safe to be around.

I think to an extent the whole of human culture fetishizes penis, in the sense of regarding it as a mystical, special thing that is either to be worshipped or feared. (many women actually think of penis as something a bit ludicrous, of course) There's a good quote somewhere along the lines of 'only men could have invented the idea of virginity - their dick is so special that it completely changes a woman's status'.
There's some merit in the argument that desire is often for a person and not necessarily the person's genitalia (otherwise people would never discover themselves as gay/bi or indeed straight when they thought otherwise). But the insistence that lesbians must learn to love 'lady dick' is still just bullying bullshit. Everyone's allowed to choose.

I agree that everyone should take no for an answer. The fact that some people (mostly/nearly always men) won't is the big problem.