Most children more or less automatically follow what other children are doing or expected to do, and especially follow 'their sort'. They very quickly work out which 'sort' they are by school-age or so.
Exactly. I had the luck to be raised fairly isolated, and with a mum who taught me maths from an early age, and a dad who had computers, but who both also taught me to knit, to cook, to do woodwork, but were rubbish at gardening, cleaning, didn't care about sport etc. - ie. were fully and obviously human with various strengths and weaknesses, interests and disinterests - ie. made it obvious that there wasn't one way to be a person. I actually also credit my sibling who is severely dyspraxic with a lot, because I could see that other people were down on him because he couldn't speak, was a immature etc, but I knew he was kind and clever - just in a different way to the way they wanted him to be.
in my turn, I have sons who have their own personality, and wrestle with society (the youngest is being told at school that pink is a girls colour, but it's his favourite, and always has been, so we're having to work with him on letting him be him, but not get a hard time from his peers).
And, in a small way, they have an influence. DS2 menacing the public in a fairy costume with a nerf gun, DS1 being the first to go and talk to anyone with a baby (he loves babies) or making sure little toddlers get involved at the softplay - but both knowing that they are boys, and that toys, colours, and interests are for everyone.
That is rad fem.