autistic appropriation by trans women

[Autisticappropriation]

NC for obvious scaredy cat reasons. Yes it’s another trans thread. No I’m not articulate or well versed in academic feminism but I do fear for women’s rights and safety.

I’ve noticed with alarming regularity that a large number of recently out trans women are also now calling themselves autistic and that a huge portion of the actually autistic community whether trans or not are becoming highly vocal TRAs.

I am an autistic women, uterus owner, born that way will probably die that way. I feel like I’m being pushed out of all my safe spaces by self identifying trans women who are also now self identifying as autistic. I fought so bloody hard to get a diagnosis and access to the pittance of support that is available for autistic women and now women seeking diagnosis after me may find themselves shunned, silenced or ignored in favour of self identifying autistic trans women. I have concerns on so many levels, not least because of the vulnerability of officially diagnosed actually autistic women and the insurgence and potential influence of highly vocal self diagnosed label collectors.

I’m writing this post because a once quite high profile “disabled” man who bullied me on Twitter and set hundreds of his followers onto me trying to doxx me and shut me up has not only in the past few years become a trans woman but also is now claiming to be autistic. They now claim, along with many other trans autistics to be vocal representatives of actually autistic women worldwide and people are listening... but they don’t represent me or my needs or the needs of so many other women formally having or currently seeking diagnosis. We haven’t been listened to for years and when the opportunities start to arise, transwomen are taking them from us. It’s so hard to be taken seriously as a woman seeking diagnosis and only now are diagnosticians recognising the differences in presentation between male and female autistics, I worry about women missing out on diagnosis because trans women present themselves as representatives of autistic women without having the lifetime experience of autistic women.

I was misdiagnosed as schizophrenic and medicated as such despite never meeting the diagnostic criteria. Everyone agreed it was the wrong diagnosis but nobody knew what else could be causing my life’s problems and so I was parked there are told to accept it. This is not an uncommon experience for many autistic women diagnosed later in life (ie adulthood beyond teens) but it doesn’t appear to be the pathway to diagnosis for transwomen. If diagnostic practices and hard won victories of women to be recognised as autistic are lost due to men appropriating so many areas of their life, I fear women will return to a life of enforced misdiagnosis and heavy sedating medications. I feel so bloody helpless and I’m scared to speak up in my usual arena (twitter) because autistic appropriation and trans domination essentially silences me. I can’t be the only female, feminist autistic concerned about this.

I don’t think I have a point I just needed to get it off my chest and introduce an area I’ve not seen being discussed before.

My DD, now in her 30s, told me that when she was a teenager she very much wished she could be a male. She said that if it had been possible to transition then, she would have been all for it.
Now, though, she is happy to be a woman and glad that she did not have the chance to alter her body to try to be male.

This is interesting.

I find the conclusions strange when it comes to autistic people who don’t gender conform.

I am autistic and don’t socially communicate in the same ways as other people. This is because of my social processing condition.

I am autistic and don’t communicate my sex through societal gender roles. This is suddenly not because I don’t process social conventions etc. It’s because my “innate gender” is expressing itself in a specifically socially conforming what that is diametrically opposed to every other way I work

How is that the logical conclusion? I can’t make it make sense.

It makes sense that autistic people do not gender-conform because (as with all social messages) we do not absorb the societal instructions in the same way as other people.

Interestingly you can find autistic women who have formed the rule that everything must be girly and pink. I would argue this was closer to trans ideology, and is based on blindly trying to follow a rule you have been told without understanding what it means.

Lying hurts me. It makes the world unruly and unsafe. If I can’t find the logic (and I’m used to finding the logic in the illogical ways of social interactions) then it isn’t there and I can’t lie and say it is. So far every autistic woman I’m close to has shared my views and my fears. They can’t make it logical either, and none of them are “gender-conforming”. I try to keep my views hidden, but this is really difficult for me. I say what I think. One day I know this will lead to me being hurt. That frightens me. I cannot make this all make sense. I cannot understand the hatred for women. I cannot understand why a dress is female or a pair of shoes is Male. They’re all made up rules that make no sense.

It's not just a trans thing. So many people are self-diagnosing themselves and their DC, PIL, whoever, Autistic or 'On the Spectrum'.

I am not autistic but have another condition that has recently become fashionable and it's so fucking annoying hearing people with nothing wrong with them claiming to have what I have. So I feel your pain OP. I just don't think it's a trans thing per se, more like an everybody thing.

Moved, again, to offer sympathy to the women on here.

Conformity is something, I believe, that no doubt has some kind of innate benefit. But it is also imposed from quite an early age. Children actively seek conformity.

And when they are ‘outside’ it’s very distressing.

Reading on here how someone who is autistic can be lost in a sea of confusion really touches me.

It makes me feel protective. I’m not apologising for that, it just does.

As I mentioned, I’m not familiar with autism. Although, I now realise that my son’s friend is autistic. From what you have all said.

I detected something, but didn’t know what it was.

Having read how difficult it must be, is it possible to explain to me how best to interact with him? To make sure I’m not making him uncomfortable? Or is that too complicated as there are too many variables?

T

I am also an autistic woman, and yes, it’s scary. What really terrifies me is that all the autistic women I know do not follow gender stereotypes (of course we don’t, we don’t pick up social norms in the same way!).

We are also black and white thinkers. If you had told me at the age of 10 that my short hair and love of all things “boy” and hatred of pink, meant that I was a boy and not a girl, I would have believed you. I would have “followed the rule”. That’s what I do.

I am an autistic woman and agree with you cliques. My three year old dd is showing signs of autism, and of being "gender-non-conforming". She likes what she likes and does what she does, she isn't conforming or not conforming to anything yet IMO, but it so happens that a lot of what she does and likes has been labelled by our society as 'for boys'.

She has started to pick up on the idea that some things are for girls and others are for boys. And she has said a few times, "I am not a girl" and spoken about being a little boy. I would not be concerned about this in the slightest were it not for thinking that if she encounters a certain type of person she could be guided into thinking she is trans at some point. That does worry me.

Blue, I hear you.

Datun, there are no set rules as such, but some general rules would be; don’t change plans last minute, try to avoid small talk or social expectations (eye contact, touching arms etc.), if you want to engage then talk about subjects that interest the person (great for establishing a relationship), be someone reliable who doesn’t make behavioural demands (if they want to play with stuff whilst talking to you, this is an aid to concentration, not a distraction), always be clear and if in doubt, ask. Don’t know if that’s any help.

Basically anything that means less work to do from the autistic side is great. Be explicit, if you like them, tell them. That sort of thing is great. Don’t expect body language and things to be picked up on. They may well be, but the people who I enjoy the company of most, don’t make me do the work. They’ll tell me straight.

Cliques

Thanks. That is really ringing true. He’s talented musically (perfect pitch) and, as soon as we talk about his (extensive and techy) equipment or a composition, he comes alive.

Great tips.

Just saw this on Twitter. I’m guessing turning up and discussion biological sex differences in autism presentation and diagnosis isn’t what they’re looking for.

I feel like autistic women are being sidelined by a fashion trend...