RAGE - is it just me?

[Slimthistime]

Is it just me who has so much rage at the moment? I am not surprised that so many men are a problem but sadly being a lifelong cynic about them isn't helping my rage level.

I felt rage a couple of weeks ago. It was like that feeling when someone dies and you can't understand how the rest of the world is just carrying on as normal. I was so distressed by it all that I revealed my full history of sexual assault / rape to my DH, most of which I've never told anyone. I couldn't bring myself to publicly "out myself" though.

Now I'm furious with the male reaction to this. I'm not a man hater but I probably should be - I bet they'd hate women if they experienced a fraction of what I have, many of them already fucking hate women. I'm sick of them using the term "sexual predator" to distance themselves from the men who do this when most of them are the men who do this. The men who assaulted me weren't predators, they were opportunistic and selfish.

The public outing that's been going on - I'm afraid to say I still don't trust it. I don't trust that women will be taken seriously and not minimised and ridiculed.

I understand it's what is required at a culture change level but I do feel anxious about the everyday lives of women who have publicly spoken of their abuse and harrassment.

Me too. And it does feel quite violent. I feel as if there were something I could break and not feel huge shame, I would. And I think it is partly the drip feed, grinding down Jo Brand described, which is coupled with more recent horror at the total omnishambles of incompetence the privileged, protected, white male elite are foisting on the rest of us. Men who have no clue what it's like to be anything other than assured of a comfortable future dictating that single mothers will have their rent cut, will work x hours once their child is y age, can't have more than z children but equally shouldn't have too easy a time getting an abortion. The same men so often who can't keep it in their pants but are happy to moralise to everyone else.

And Cameron gives me the biggest rage of all. Sitting smugly in his shepherd's hut having unleashed carnage. Having done nothing to address the deep rooted sexism in Westminster or deal with bloated egos like Boris Johnson. Rage at the way they treat our children's futures like a giant extension of the bloody Eton wall game. May is doing a very poor job, but she's dealing wth a mess made almost entirely entirely by willy waving men.

'I'm sick of them using the term "sexual predator" to distance themselves from the men who do this when most of them are the men who do this. The men who assaulted me weren't predators, they were opportunistic and selfish.'

Thank you for saying that, Tammy. I have always hated the term sexual predator but never managed to articulate why.

Glad to know others get it
I suppose it was bound to hit peak
As Jo says about feeling under siege, when you have this from age 13 till....actually I don't know, when the fuck does it stop? - then only mixing with women in future seems the best option.

And to be honest the fact that some people aren't annoyed is even more annoying. I've heard two women in the public eye say they are worried about the results for interpersonal relationships.

And soon men will be able to pose as women anyway.

I also feel quite violent but I think that won't be resolved unless some kind of real justice comes for these men.

If eel the rage too.
I was listening to radio 4 today at about 2.10, amongst other things they were talking about sexual harassment.
The number of men and women commenting on this and saying it's fine, and women are being him skinned, and some fucking old dinosaur scientist mansplaining biology which meant that women should stick to having babies whilst the men run the country, and that today's problems are due to women trying to usurp mens' roles.
I had a preconceived idea that radio 4 listeners were intelligent, apparently I was wrong, most of the phone calls taken were from people defending mens' actions.

Women are being thin skinned, sorry!

I heard that too Inig0M0nt0ya although had to laugh in disbelief when the ludicrous old male scientist played his trump card: the proof that feminism is destroying the world is that there are so many homosexuals about these days.

Thin skinned? How do?

Sorry, I meant how so?

I felt rage a couple of weeks ago. It was like that feeling when someone dies and you can't understand how the rest of the world is just carrying on as normal.

I felt like this when Reeva Steenkamp was murdered and the Sun put a sexy picture of her on a beach in a bikini on their front page. I just couldn’t understand how anyone could see this as acceptable.

When I said this to a friend they were like “that’s the Sun for you”. And it’s the same with this. It’s just so expected and part of the everyday that we’re expected not to notice.

Countess this is my biggest issue at the moment. A guy recently commented on a fb post of mine denouncing sexual predators, that he'd never harass a woman - but he's the same man who made a public fb comment about my breasts when I was pregnant. These men don't understand boundaries, and the men who say this all play their part in this problem.

Tammy, according to a few women on the radio show women are thin skinned as they're not dealing with the harassment like they used to in the past.
Except that totally leaves out the many, many women who couldn't deal with it, or who couldn't escape assault or rape, and the program stank of victim blaming - one caller (male) even stated that women shouldn't be allowed to wear makeup as their pouty lips and blushing cheeks were a clear invitation. I despair.

Women who play it down are part of the problem too.
The whole "wolf whistles are complementary, a pat on the bum is friendly, inappropriate touching isn't really an issue, it's not like anyone was hurt" attitudes.
Women have spent so long having their fears/annoyances/pain dismissed that plenty have bought into this culture to keep the status quo.
If you make a stand, you're ugly so you're jealous at your pretty counterparts getting the attention, or you're a lesbian, or you're desperate and need a good shag to sort you out. Or you're a feminist, and that's seen as a Very Bad Thing by lots of men and women.

If you want to hear the utterly dispiriting but instructive radio Inig0M0nt0ya is talking about, it's here:

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09bxkmp

The first 15 minutes. The "highlights" are an older woman who refers to the sexual harrassment she experienced as "fun" and the scientist mentioned above. The latter is almost unbelievable.

Sorry - I have exhausted twin mum brain and misunderstood you. Absolutely right - I reserve my most rage for the women who I see downplaying this issue right now. Fuck them.

Tammy, is it possible to reply to that guy, publicly, with a screenshot of his original Facebook post?

I also fear that those who have spoken out will end up paying for it.

Look at Andrea Leadsom, being blamed for bringing down Michael Fallon. And by bringing down I mean not being able to sit in the cabinet but of course keeping his job as an MP.

I considered it but was in a very fragile place at the time and couldn't do it - I felt embarrassed. Why, I don't know. This guy has known me since I was a child.

OTOH, my DH (who always stays out of this stuff publicly) really pulled him up on his use of language and then messaged me saying "hope you don't mind but had to respond - I'm sick of that mansplaining wanker". So yeah, at least someone gets it!

"Women everywhere have managed to set up a twilight bark, which is incredibly powerful"

Trouble is, we did last time last year too, after Trump and his pussy grabbing. But everyone forgot about it in a couple of weeks.

I loved TammyTwo by the way, Tammy. She was a law unto herself.

And the problem is that when women stand up, people listen, we all say ‘this must stop’ and it all just carries on; that sends a message too.

I asked DH if men now fucking got it. He said, “we’ve always known”. They just don’t care. Well, DH does but he knows most men know and don’t care as well as I do.

Of course men know and don't care
They need to be losing their jobs, it should be gross misconduct
In my office, I was harassed in front of colleagues and he only got a warning
Verbal harassment could be classed as a hate crime

I really do think that treating misogyny, based on SEX, as a hate crime would be a start.