Giving up makeup

[NoLoveofMine]

I'm not sure if this is worthy of a thread but wasn't sure where else to put it; quite understandable if it's not of too much interest though...

Having been thinking about this since another thread recently I think I'm going to stop using makeup. This shouldn't really be notable or worthy of announcement, but I was considering that it's something almost exclusively done by girls and women and why I feel the need to use it when I go out yet no boys I know would (even though the boys I'm friends with don't conform to acting in a "masculine" manner they'd still not). There are of course many girls and women who love using makeup - some of my friends are like this, they really enjoy the whole process of it and even see it as a topic to discuss with one another sometimes. However, I have no interest in it, don't watch tutorials, don't discuss it other than from this perspective, yet still use it, purely because I feel I "look better" with it on. Why should any woman or girl feel the need to alter her natural face in this way to look better? I should find nothing wrong with myself pre-makeup and see no need for it. Given this, I'm going to try to stop using it - not remarkable admittedly but I've just been thinking a fair bit recently about it and why I use it. I want to feel very happy with how I look without it, after all. At the moment it feels like I "want" to use it, but only because I think I look better afterwards, so feel better about myself when I have before going out for example, but this shouldn't be the case. I think this is different to wearing skirts/dresses which I often do or even hairstyle because this is something which involves altering/masking your natural face. I suppose this also applies to body hair removal; I shave my legs as well and must confess am not sure this is something I'll stop doing when I know my legs will be visible. I'd like it to be, but it's difficult to rid myself of the feeling that this is a desirable look.

Anyway that was quite possibly of little interest to anyone but myself but ah well, I have a lot of free periods on Fridays. I also didn't mean it to sound self-centred, was more because I was just writing down what I was thinking about myself.

I stopped wearing make up a couple of years ago. No big change, just laziness really, then dd (7) started noticing me when I did put it on and I feel like I should be living the "it's OK to be who you are" message. Instead I use better quality face creams because my face gets sore if I don't. I do wear makeup for high days and holidays (eg I'm going to a hen party on Saturday so I'll have tinted bb cream, some bronzer and mascara. Maybe lip gloss) but I don't usually bother for work. Interestingly, I'd definitely wear make up for a job interview. I think I'd feel more polished.

I haven't shaved my legs since before we went on holidays in August. I've been swimming with the children at home since and just couldn't be bothered with the faff. I do shave my toes though, which is oddly vain.

I was charting with 3 mums at the school gate this morning and I just realised none of us was wearing any visible make up.

If you're the poster I think you are, you no doubt have the glow of youth to shine through whatever you do it don't put on your skin.

Interestingly, I'd definitely wear make up for a job interview. I think I'd feel more polished.

Even this is an issue, though. Women shouldn't feel the need to wear makeup in any situation as it's saying even if we don't do it regularly that there are some times when we need to alter ourselves in ways which are never expected of men.

If you're the poster I think you are, you no doubt have the glow of youth to shine through whatever you do it don't put on your skin.

Haha, thank you, though I want this to be relevant at any age - if not even more so when I'm older as I don't want to feel when I've naturally aged I need to try to mask it.

I often go without when on annual leave to see if my skin stars to clear up/de grease without it, but it never does

Sorry to hear this. Do you think you could mention it to your GP or see a dermatologist?

I'm a feminist but I love make up, colouring my hair & I whiten my teeth.

I'm 41 and actually look ok without make up in fact I sometimes don't wear it if I'm late for work.

But I do like it - I love reading fashion magazines, browsing make up counters, buying my favourite Clinique products etc.

My mum started me wearing moisturiser when I was 10 and encouraged me to start wearing make up properly at 12. So it's a habit & it's something I enjoy.

I've never really worn makeup, I have never owned a foundation and the extent of my makeup as a teen was mascara and a slightly sparkly beige eyeshadow. I have a few bits and bobs now but they are mostly unused (I'm a sucker for nice packaging). I don't think makeup actually looks good on most people, especially the sparkly cheeks, comedy eyebrows and pornstar lips that seem to be trendy now. The prevailing fashion for these exaggerated features just immediately makes me think of drag queens and porn, both of which are imo damaging to women across society as it sets up a very sexualised expectation of women in terms of appearance.

My mum has never really worn makeup either and I think that has meant I see being bare faced as normal, so don't feel the pressure to look made up every day, I can leave the house without looking in a mirror and not worry even when I have spots I don't cover them up, most people don't notice them. I don't have a lot of self confidence surrounding how I look but not wearing makeup has never bothered me (except for the bitches in sixth form who tried to make me feel like shit for not conforming) I might look better with it but I've never tried, I have several professional makeup artist friends who could make me look different I'm sure, but would it be 'better' or is that just what society has made us think?

I will continue not to wear it as I want my daughter to grow up not caring as I did, my mother didn't do everything right but her choice to go makeup free has definitely had a positive effect on my self esteem as an adult. It will have an impact on a child's sense of self as they grow up if their mother won't leave the house without 'putting on her face' in the same way we know that mothers going on and on about diets/weight affects children.

I might look better with it but I've never tried, I have several professional makeup artist friends who could make me look different I'm sure, but would it be 'better' or is that just what society has made us think?

Very much this. Boys and men don't grow up wondering if they'd look better with makeup yet we often do and start using it so young in many cases. I'd say since you don't use it and like how you look anyway then why try it? You don't need to alter your face and feel good about yourself, as you should.

My mum wears makeup for work and going out socially, though not a great deal, so not sure what it would have been like if she didn't have any. I do think the pressures in terms of this are huge on girls though.

I had a colleague who's husband had never seen her without make up. they'd been married over 10 years. I've never worn it, & I dont feel dirty if I dont shave either. We were both neglected as children, and had no money for clothes or make up as teenagers.
She feels under a huge amount of pressure, and I gave up trying to fit in.

I'm too overweight and middle aged not to wear make up

With make up on and my hair dried in a style I look passable. And by passable I mean I can get served in shops and bars.

If I didn't wear make up and didn't dry my hair (I look like this when dog walking) I get followed round shops by the security guard as I look 'poor'.

In my opinion it's too hard to be clean but scruffy if you're overweight and middle aged.

I could just have got away with when young and fresh faced (and grunge was in) but not now.

I don't wear very obvious make-up and I don't particularly enjoy wearing it. It's very much a thing I do to make myself look less pasty and rubbish. And that's why I simultaneously resent it but don't stop doing it. I don't want to look pasty and rubbish, but am annoyed that I have been conditioned to regard my natural face as pasty and rubbish rather than just what a normal and pretty average 45 year-old white British woman's face looks like.

It's such a double-edged sword. I also feel a bit guilty about judging women who wear tons of obvious make-up. I see girls barely older than my 11 year-old dd with the full-on HD brows, orange foundation etc and I have to suppress a 'yuck' reaction, even though I understand the pressures that make them want to look like that. It's a difficult issue that is very bound up with women's self-esteem and position in society. And no amount of "But I like make-up and wear it for myself" can make that not true. Because the important question is why do you like it and why do you feel the need to do it for yourself. You wouldn't if you were a man.

You think hair and make-up are a class issue?

Eolian, you summed up the dilemma beautifully:

On the one hand, why stop doing something if you enjoy it or it makes you feel better. On the other hand, we all know that the only reason we ever learned to enjoy it or realised that it made us feel better about ourselves is because we happened to be born female in a world which expects women to spend more money and effort on their appearance than men do.

Like silky, I am also conscious of my child being old enough now to watch me as I put make-up on... Although my baby is a boy, I don't want him to grow up thinking women need to do this!

Sorry to read of your childhood DJ. I'm glad you don't feel the need to wear makeup or shave and this is a situation I want to reach. Probably makes it sound a bit melodramatic, I know it should be as simple as stopping!

LaurieFairyCake I think it's terrible you have t o put makeup on to avoid that kind of judgement. I don't think there should be any situation in which women or girls feel they have to wear makeup but there are so many.

Eolian very much so - you're articulating much of what I think on this perfectly! With young girls as you say, there's a huge amount of pressure. It's clearly not an entirely free choice particularly at that stage because why would so many girls be feeling the need to put makeup on yet no boys? It's worrying how early girls are being made to believe they need makeup to be passable.

I love makeup and wear it most days. I make no excuses or apologies.

Thanks for starting this thread, NoLoveofMine. It's very nice to be able to discuss this. All too often, threads about this kind of topic become very polarised and aggressive, perhaps because of an inflammatory OP.

We need to remember that none of our feelings about this (shame about our unmade-up appearance, defensiveness about our choices, judgment of the appearance of others) arose in a vacuum. Nobody can entirely avoid social conditioning and pretty much all human beings are sensitive to how they are viewed by others and feel threatened when their world-view or self-worth is questioned or belittled.

It will be very intetesting to see how things change as our children's generation grow up. Yes there is a lot of superficial crap inspired by celebrity culture, but there's also more tolerance for people being and looking different and making different choices. I wonder if we'll see an ever widening gap - women who fully embrace the glam celebrity look, and those who are beginning to reject altogether the idea that women should need to adorn themselves more than men.

I love makeup and wear it most days. I make no excuses or apologies.

Nobody asked for excuses or apologies. I wear it every day too. I don't make excuses or apologies either. I just find it valuable to question why I do things, and why I like or don't like doing things.

I love makeup, but you do you! If it doesn't interest you, then don't partake in wearing it. I'm not interested in football, so I don't follow it. Don't be a martyr, life is too short!
As long as you don't judge other people (not just women) for wearing it, there's no problem.
Just a side note as this is on the feminist board, my main makeup artist icons are ALL male. I know lots of men who wear makeup.

You're welcome Eolian, I'm glad it's been a worthwhile thread!

We need to remember that none of our feelings about this (shame about our unmade-up appearance, defensiveness about our choices, judgment of the appearance of others) arose in a vacuum.

Definitely. I'm very mindful of my thinking on this topic being hugely influenced by societal expectations and images of what constitutes a desirable look for girls and women, shown by makeup and body hair removal being for the most part things girls and women do. It's very difficult to avoid these influences.

From what I can tell the pressures on girls to be "into" makeup and shave legs etc are huge but I hope they'll diminish. It should be something anyone is free to enjoy if they wish but not be pressured to do due to their sex as is currently the case.

I don't want to get into an argument, but I think you are wrong to say it's not a problem. You may be happy with your choice to wear make-up, but that doesn't mean that there aren't tons of women and girls who feel they have to wear it in order not to be considered lazy, scruffy or ugly. I've been a teacher for 20 years and an awful lot of bullying between girls in schools is based on appearance.

As long as you don't judge other people (not just women) for wearing it,

So yes, I as a reasonable, pretty civilised adult, can manage not to show any judgement about people's make-up or lack of make-up, but I certainly can't guarantee to my 11 year-old dd that loads of other people (including the girls in her class) won't judge her. I consider that a problem.

Sorry - that was obviously in response to Beadieeye.

I have to shave the hairs on my legs because it gets stubbly and terribly itchy if I don't. I so wish I'd never started. My daughter has never shaved her legs and her hair is soft and lovely. I can only wish!

I no longer wear makeup. It does nothing for me. My face is my true self. I don't know anyone who does wear makeup. And I know a lot of women. I will wear lipstick though - should stop that!

I do moisturise and take care of my skin. Facial and body.

However, I'm thinking of getting eyebrow shaping. Just a natural look.

Eolian, I was addressing OP

I adore wearing make up- and can't understand why men don't wear it as well. Perhaps it's because I grew up in the era of the New Romantics and it's more about dressing up and an escape from boring normal routine.
And now I have a health condition which affects my skin so I would rather wear a thick covering than have people go 'Urrgh what's wrong with your face??'. My male friend has psioriasis and finds it totally miserable.

I thought I'd made it clear I wasn't judging anyone - especially since I stated in my opening post that I wear makeup myself and have some friends I know really love applying it and discussing tips with one another. I've spoken about this with them as well. This is also why I made the first post about myself and what I was thinking of specifically my own motivations for wearing it.

My daughter has never shaved her legs and her hair is soft and lovely. I can only wish!

I hope she never feels the need to and only ever does so if it's what she wants Eolian!

My face is my true self.

Quite so.

I do judge women who wear a lot of makeup though. I think they are insecure. I don't see strength in a woman who wears it. It looks odd to me.

Obviously not on a night out. That's something else.

But I like a natural look. I cannot stand the over the top contouring and sharpie eyebrow look. It is comical and tragic. (like a clown).