No-gendered terms of endearment

[CaptainWarbeck]

After watching the gender neutral school experiment, we realised DH routinely calls DS buddy, mate and champ as pet names, and DD sweetie.

They're both very young still so ample time to change this if we want. But it's so hard to think of non gendered terms of affection. All we've come up with is darling.

Are there any more?

I call DS1&2 "sweetie", "darling", "lovely" or "mate". I am most likely to address any other child as "mate", regardless of sex, and including my nieces.

I tend to call my sons pet (or chick, or petal).

I have to try very hard not to do it in front of DS2's girlfriend.

The offspring have pointed out that I also call the cats 'pet'. They feel this is wrong.

I also use 'little one' which I know is considered a heinous offence on mumsnet so I suspect I will have to remove myself from the discussion forthwith

I call ds "littly" He's 6ft3 and I'm 5ft 2!

Anyway- back to the thread. What endearments do our children's fathers use? Because I suppose that's the relevant point- women/mothers can use any words they like really, it's the ones used between boys and men that are interesting.

My boy and girl are both

Sweetpea
Lovely
Bubs
Fartypants
Monkey
Fattybumbum
Babstickles
And a million other things.

I agree that while mate/sweetie/buddy/cupcake are not essentially gendered, there is a tendency to use matey/tougher names with boys and cutie/softer names with girls- especially by their fathers. I think mothers are more comfortable using darling/lovely/sweetie pie for both sexes than fathers are.

DD has reminded me that I inadvertently called (6 foot) DS Tiddles in public not that long ago. Also Booboo and Dillybobs.

I think I might need shooting before I reach 60.

That's interesting, Bertrand. Dh rarely calls the DC by nicknames but if he does, and when we are referring to them in their absence, they are usually the monsters.

I call the kids I work with 'sunshine', I picked it up from an American colleague and it's a little twee but I like it.

One of my male colleagues uses 'sweetheart' for girls and boys.

Im from Derbyshire and we regularly use 'flower' and 'duck' for both men and women. Got me a few funny looks from men I used it on when I moved down south but I haven't dropped the habit.

Kiddo works well across the board.

We both used "Toots" for my son and his first girlfriend.

I call my boys and girl 'Angel' and 'Doll'. Same as my Dad! He calls my 6ft4" brother 'Angel' or 'Doll' too. He also says "sweetheart" for boys, girls, women and men.

My DCs Dad calls them Hooly 1, Hooly 2, Hooly 3 (for hooligan) and since my youngest is not his- "the baby".

Seems a bit silly to me. My daughter is a girl, girls are not boys, nor would I want her to be anything other than what she is. I find a lot of these 'gender' conversations odd. Girls can like pink clothes, fairy outfits and ponies- it is fine. My daughter loves these things, her room is pink, her bed is pink and the vast majority of her clothes are pink. Girls can also like rough and tumble play, catching spiders, ants and worms, playing football and farting. My daughter loves all of these things too. Not too long ago we dealt with people asking what HIS name was. She is a girl, but she is a girl who has a variety of interests that don't necessarily fit into some people's gender stereotypes of girl interests and boy interests. Girls can have short hair, like toilet humour and football, without someone worrying if they are in a gender crisis. Girls are girls, and boys are boys. Different but the same.

Dadishere-have you read the thread?

Interesting discussion.

Dh calls our (16 yr old) ds very similar names to me: chick, doll, handsome, gorgeous, dude.

I call other people's children that I know well and are under 11 ish: gorgeous, chick, poppet, maybe dude.

I call other people's children I know well and who are over 11: dude, mate or chick.

At school I call groups of children: year whatever, people, boys, girls etc

Individuals (at school) in year 7 I might call poppet. I try and use first names though. Someone individual I didn't know and was asking neutrally to step aside in a corridor, say, would be young man (for a boy). Would never call a girl young lady unless I was really telling them off. It sounds sarcastic, doesn't it, in a way young man doesn't?? Hmmm.

Wanted to add: I'm pretty sure I use poppet with more yr 7 boys than I do girls (and this is usually not in front of other children as such, more on a one to one basis) because 11 yr old boys are, on the whole, younger than 11 yr old girls.

So, for me, the 'softer' terms of endearment are age rather than gender related.