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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Why do men use prostitutes?

392 replies

QuentinSummers · 01/08/2017 06:12

Guardian have published a summary of a research project here
www.theguardian.com/society/2010/jan/15/why-men-use-prostitutes
Men were asked what would put them off. A criminal record, an ASBO or their employer being told was the answer. Finding out the woman was pimped or coerced apparently not so much.
Not sure how that squares with the full decriminalisation model.

OP posts:
Identifiesaspissedoff · 01/08/2017 22:32

user what does your family member mean by 'woman'?

cadnowyllt · 01/08/2017 22:33

Yes, they must think they are entitled to make a contract to pay for sex - but not entitled otherwise.

user1498662042 · 01/08/2017 22:36

A person born female. A woman.

Identifiesaspissedoff · 01/08/2017 22:37

Are they quoting statistics or are they personally coming across more 'born female' offenders?

user1498662042 · 01/08/2017 22:38

Why wouldn't there be women who are sexually attracted to children, animals and other deviant pornographic subjects? I don't see what's so hard to believe about it.

QuentinSummers · 01/08/2017 22:38

I am not too convinced by your family member tbh!
The other links are interesting. I would want to know what the corresponding change in crimes committed by men are, because there are lots of factors that can cause reported crime to go up. This link suggests sex crimes as a whole are increasing.

rapecrisis.org.uk/news/sexual-offences-recorded-by-police-at-highest-level-since-re

I'm also quite suspicious about the impact of crime committed by trans women on women's crime stats, I follow sex offending quite closely and very very seldom see reports of cis women accessing huge amounts of child porn or committing child abuse (with the possible exception of teachers) but I have seen a few recently regarding trans women. It wouldn't take that many to add quite a substantial % onto the overall level of female offenders.

Anyway this has nothing at all to do with why men use prostitutes. Although both your and cadnos responses speak volumes.

OP posts:
user1498662042 · 01/08/2017 22:44

Anyway this has nothing at all to do with why men use prostitutes. Although both your and cadnos responses speak volumes.

Men use prostitutes because me live in an immoral, permissive society where such behaviour is normalised and the sex industry operating beyond the law. In a nutshell.

I am against prostitution by the way. Completely.

cadnowyllt · 01/08/2017 22:46

Although both your and Cadno's responses speak volumes.

And yours don't ? - your views are far more dogmatic. Suppose there is always those to think the worst of

Ohnomoomoos · 01/08/2017 22:47

Why does every thread about men turn into "well women do it too".

Yes women are capable of wrong doing but the actual crime figures speak for themselves. Besides anything else this is a thread about why men use prostitutes.

Men do not have a contract to buy sex. It is currently illegal to do so and given that most prostitutes are exploited and have little choice in the matter. There is no contract, using prostitutes is not an equal, level playing field.

phoolani · 01/08/2017 22:50

That JB article is very old. I was quite involved in this area a few years ago and there were several studies which are basically showed that: there are various reasons why men would want to visit prostituted women but the reason they actually went ahead and did so was because the chances of them getting 'caught' were virtually nil (the prostituted women has a much higher risk of being caught because of the way we police the issue). All studies showed that if there was a reasonable chance they would be caught - and people knowing they had been, whether that be family or work or the general public - most would refrain from doing it. Ie if we policed according to the Nordic model demand would fall considerably.

cadnowyllt · 01/08/2017 23:02

Why does every thread about men turn into "well women do it too".

Because classes of people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Men do not have a contract to buy sex. - ? You'd struggle to succeed at Court for breach of the terms and conditions, but a contract is effectively what you are left with.

phoolani · 01/08/2017 23:10

As a class, women aren't in a glass house where sexual violence is concerned so what's your point?

Ohnomoomoos · 01/08/2017 23:10

People in glass house shouldn't throw stones. Last time I checked women weren't paying fifty quid to shag a bloke who's been trafficked into the country, held against his will and forced to have sex with 100s of different people. Last time I look women weren't prowling around picking up vulnerable men often with addictions off the streets and paying them for sex.

There is absolutely no 'contract'.

phoolani · 01/08/2017 23:12

And an unenforceable contract cannot be enforced so, practically, what are you left with? Not much.

user1498662042 · 01/08/2017 23:13

Ohnomoomoos , unfortunately men have always used prostitutes and treated women badly.

However, there did used to exist a different culture - a culture that was very repressive in lots of ways and has rightly been reformed since the Second World War, giving women and people of different sexual orientations rights. Nevertheless, this moral order established the family and romantic courtship as bulwarks to prevent moral anarchy. Taboos existed. Prostitution existed but it was not considered normal and acceptable. Extreme pornography existed underground, but even mild forms of nudity were illegal in mainstream society.

However, in the 1960's everything changed. An alliance of left wing sexual radicals and right wing market libertarians succeeded in destroying the family and the idea of monogamous love and duty that underpinned it. One by one sexual taboos were removed. Although the sexual revolution had been spearheaded by feminists, women became more commodified in this culture than ever before. Markets in prostitution, pornography, sex toys and expanded. This was not just a left wing revolution, but very much a right wing return to the cult of power and self-interest - a rejection of the secular ideal of a just society. Then in the 1990's came the fullest realisation of the liberal dream: the internet. A deregulated, global communication network meant pornography and other sex industries could be accessible to millions without the interference of governments. In this market, there are no taboos. Every desire or fetish, no matter how dark or barbaric, could be catered for in a few clicks. Rather than meet people in physical spaces where intimacy could be developed, people have become accustomed to choosing sexual partners from an array of options on a screen. This is similar to how a man might choose a prostitute, so many men who wouldn't have considered paying for sex before, go that extra step. After all 'if it feels good, do it' eh? Moral values, love and commitment play no part in this new world: only self-gratification.

I predict this will get worse. In time, it could be considered normal for people to watch the rape of children, or people being tortured and murdered, for pleasure. Technological aids such as sex robots and VR simulations of every kind of fantasy will also be seen as normal.

I don't mean to do the 'women do it too' thing, but I see no reason why at some point women will not use sex robots too, or enjoy sickening porn in equal numbers to men. The internet and technology will give women the freedom to do all the things that they haven't been given to do before, because they've been taught that women aren't like that. In the future they will have licence to be as sociopathic as men. It will just take time for them to catch up.

Monogamous love - having sex with someone because you care for them - will seem to the men and women of the future with their fuck buddies and fuck machines as archaic as the divine right of kings.

cadnowyllt · 01/08/2017 23:19

As a class, women aren't in a glass house where sexual violence is concerned so what's your point?

You point, others pointed back. Get the point. Late at night, I know, but sheesh.

Teddy7878 · 01/08/2017 23:20

I think some men will pay for sex because they want to experience a woman (or man) who fits their idealistic preferences. So maybe an 18 year old with a slim toned body, or a big breasted older woman, or someone of a different nationality.
It's far too easy now to go onto the Internet and scroll through all the thousands of escort profiles and be able to pick out someone who matches their ultimate fantasy. It's also far too easy for them to get away with it. The sex industry is the biggest industry in the world so there are clearly a lot of people using these sorts of services. Very sad

AssassinatedBeauty · 01/08/2017 23:21

"In time, it could be considered normal for people to watch the rape of children," How? Why? Just because they can and will? Normal? What? I cannot understand how you think we will get to that position.

cadnowyllt · 01/08/2017 23:23

And an unenforceable contract cannot be enforced so, practically, what are you left with? Not much.

left with a service for money, I guess.

phoolani · 01/08/2017 23:23

Late for you I guess, cadno. You're making less sense than usual.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 01/08/2017 23:24

Essentially I think it's because society allows them to do so. The patriarchal society that we all live in.

It's human nature to essentially behave as badly as we believe we will get away with - this seems to be a motivation as according to the article these men wouldn't do it if they thought they would be caught and exposed/punished.

Men behave in this way because society not only lets them but positively encourages it by its treatment of women.

serialtester · 01/08/2017 23:25

Men fuck prostitutes because they can. They don't analyse it. A lot of men see sex as a transactional situation. And I sadly think that will always be the case.

user1498662042 · 01/08/2017 23:28

AssassinatedBeauty we are almost there. People watch beheadings on Facebook. Can you imagine someone twenty years ago saying this will be the future and believing them? That all children will carry a little box with them with which they can access snuff and bestiality?

I can IMAGINE a dark future in which all the fundamental moral taboos we recognise have gone. Moreover, if inequality grows then the poor, jobless masses will be willing to do more and more in order to survive, such as sell their children into slavery or the sex industry as they did in the 19th century. Due to energy wars and climate change, there will be a continuous supply of migrants for the elites to abuse or exploit.

cadnowyllt · 01/08/2017 23:30

Late for you I guess, cadno. You're making less sense than usual.

Blimey, is that the time ? well yes, off to bed. G'Night.

AssassinatedBeauty · 01/08/2017 23:32

"People watch beheadings on Facebook." Do they? The majority? A large minority? Do we all think that it's normal?

I hope I'm long gone, and my descendants have founded a separatist island community before your horrific future comes to pass.