Teen Vogue article

[NoLoveofMine]

Someone has "Tweeted" defending "that" Teen Vogue article. I don't really know the point of me starting this thread - just wanted somewhere to vent. She has done it in response to people criticising it and said that teenagers would have anal sex regardless and that the article could be educational.

I'm quite upset.

[MNHQ have edited the title and the OP very slightly due to privacy concerns].

serandipity

I agree , although i feel the article wasn't particularly informative as datun said i would be much happier if it had said the dangers, said that most girls dont like it and thats fine ( been telling potentially gay ds that lots of gay men dont have anal sex and that its ok not to want it as much as its ok to want to a least have a go to see if its for you) and aimed it at older teens

sue

I haven't been googling it on purpose

Women are not non prostate owners, we are not orifices for the penis, we are not vessels for male pleasure. We need an erotic revolution to reclaim sex from grubby pornographers and damaged young men.

Yep again

Sorry Serendipity I misread one of your posts and thought you had mentioned enjoying it - I agree that personal preferences shouldn't come into this discussion, but was following up on what I mistakenly thought was your introduction of the subject.

I think we need to make a distinction between "normal" in the statistical sense of what the norm is, and "normal" in the moral sense. There's nothing wrong with anal sex if that's what floats your (generic "your") boat. It is perfectly normal in the moral sense as part of the varied range of human sexual activity which when engaged in safely and consensually is no-one else's business.

Then there's normal in the statistical sense - and I object to articles which try to portray niche activities as something everyone should try. That's adding to the pressure (already there from pornography) to do stuff which it is fine not to want to do.

It isn't about my own opinion on anal sex. It's the underlying assumption that it is common for 13yr olds to be having sex regularly enough that they are likely to be also trying anal.

When it's viewed in the light of other media aimed at that age, where there are many articles with information on common issues, it implies anal is normal too.

Eg from preteen age media is about how it is normal to develop at a different rate to your friends, normal to feel confused about your changing body, normal to have boobs that have a slight size difference, normal to be attracted to others as more than friends, normal to have sexual feelings and so on. You then do an article on anal and the natural assumption is that it also falls into the category of normal for an early teen. Rather than explicitly stating it is not an expected or common part of life for a teen.

It definately doesn't highlight the risks enough.

"Condoms are also nonnegotiable. There is no risk of pregnancy during anal sex, but STIs are widespread and abundant. Protect yourself and practice safe sex every single time."

Well yes but you can say the same for vaginal sex, the difference is anal sex is the riskiest type of sex for STDs for the receiver. It's worth noting that you are 17 times more likely to get HIV from anal sex than from vaginal sex. I presume that this is similar for some other STDs as the vagina is pretty awesome at keeping nasty shit out of our blood stream.

Totally agree with addressing the word normal. Normal as in the norm and normal as in, not the opposite to abnormal.

Anal sex isn't abnormal.

Neither is it the norm.

Sorry about the rose thing .

But I have read other articles addressed to youth and sex in general and this porn led thing consistently comes up.

NoLoveofMine
Just for balance, heres an article about a study on girls and anal sex.

''A study on why teenage heterosexual couples may engage in anal sex has revealed a climate of coercion, with consent and mutuality not always a priority for the boys who are trying to persuade girls into having it.''

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/women-being-coerced-into-having-sex-researchers-say-with-persuasion-normalised-9671395.html

Thank you for that Baggy. This sentence in particular stood out and doesn't surprise me: There appeared to be competition between boys to have had anal sex with girls, while the main reason that young people also cited for engaging in the act is that boys “wanted to copy what they saw in pornography. I've heard of girls being pressured to do it and boys at parties etc making comments about it, along the lines of competing. To me this Teen Vogue article adds to that pressure for girls and encourages them to do something which for the majority will cause discomfort and isn't primarily about their own sexual pleasure.

DJ

From that article:

The interviewed young people rarely spoke of anal sex “in terms of mutual exploration of sexual pleasure”, while condoms were also often not used.

My youth was dogged by the threat of AIDS.

Up until then, if a girl took a condom out with her in her handbag, she was considered to be sexually promiscuous, a bad thing. 'Slutty'.

If a boy produced a condom, and it hadn't been prearranged, he was considered to be a bit of a chancer, a player, hoping to have sex with anyone - a numbers game.

AIDS changed all that. Condoms became respectable. Necessary. Free in bowls on bar tops and in both loos.

Not having one was deemed irresponsible. Wrap up! Double wrap!

As the threat of aids has diminished and it's not automatically a death sentence, are condoms now being considered not as necessary?

I agree with Datun.

I think some boys see it as an achievement to have sex without a condom, boasting of it to others, so sometimes pressure girls to agree to it (I'm no expert of course)!

NoLoveofMine There were comments supporting that in The Hunting Ground. Its come under fire for being inaccurate, but the interviews with college boys are interesting.
One describes how in his male frat house, they had a meeting once a week to discuss their conquests, and they were encouraged to try to have anal sex with the girls. It sounded a lot like grooming with the older frat members putting on the pressure.

Its on Netflix UK.

FFS can we please call a spade a spade?!

It is known the world fucking over that teenage girls are pressured into doing things they are not willing to do and that they often give in because they want to please the boy and they have been told not to be a pricktease.

This article does encourage it with words like "awesome" and in the way it refuses to recognise the social pressures girls face because it can't even name girls as girls but as non-prostrate owners!

If it were accurate it would have stuff in there about the dangers: the UTIs, the possibility of fissures, the increased likelihood of faecal incontinence.

It's just another pressure on girls and it should fuck right off.

Absolutely what Datun, M0stly, yetanother, Nolove and others have said. It's a completely bonkers article.

I can only hope that teenagers do what teenagers do best, and decide that if old, boring people are recommending they do something, then they should avoid it at all costs, because it's probably crap. I can hope.

Thank you for telling me of that Baggy. It doesn't surprise me and I fear for the culture at universities here as well. The way boys are often brought up to see and speak about girls and women is horrific, that kind of viewing them as conquests, with the level of the conquest dependent on the kind of sex they managed to "get".

I might have to request this thread be deleted if MN can't edit my first post but don't want to as there are so many interesting and informative posts as always. I just feel a little bad for starting it; it wasn't nice on my part I don't think

nolove

It's an important thread.

You can ask HQ to change the title to something along the lines of Teen Vogue Anal Sex. And you can have your opening post deleted at your request.

Then the rest can stand?

Absolutely right Jijhebtseksmetezels.

I have asked them to edit it Datun but they emailed to say they weren't sure they could without changing the theme of the thread - I'll try reporting it again to suggest that, thank you!

Unless your friend knows you post here I can't see what the problem is?

Women are allowed to be critical of other women - it does not automatically equate to being bitchy.

You were entirely justified in your criticism of your friend. You haven't outed her, so there is no harm done. And it's been a good thread

I'm probably being overly concerned. It is a running joke amongst friends that I post on here though Well, people found it amusing at first but then thought it was a good idea (but there are jovial comments along the lines of "she's probably on Mumsnet").

I suppose there's nothing wrong with saying what she said, plus she knows I disagree on this anyway. I'd just rather it was a bit more general as I don't feel it was thoughtful of me. Sorry if this seems a bit self-centred/over the top.

No. If your friends know then that's a reason to be concerned. It is an important thread, though.

You mean about this thread specifically? Indeed. I hope there's nothing wrong with them knowing generally though, it's not a big thing just some light hearted jokes but then I discuss some topics with them too!