The work women do

[MoonriseKingdom]

english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

Apologies if this has been posted before. I saw this on Facebook this morning and it sums up everything I struggle to articulate to my DH. He really does want to be helpful/ do his fair share and I love him but it is the taking of overall responsibility for the thinking in our house that I find exhausting.

The women are just as bad. Thread in aibu dismissing the work women do as nothing and claiming that's not mysogynistic xause she's a lazy shit

Could it be that there is more pressure on a woman to "run a proper house"?

This thread reminded me of the emotional labour thread on metafilter:

www.metafilter.com/151267/Wheres-My-Cut-On-Unpaid-Emotional-Labor

Annotated version here:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.themarysue.com/emotional-labor-pdf/amp/

Think I first saw it linked to on FWR. I was shocked how much of this stuff I never considered or even noticed.

I couldn't agree more. Whenever we argue about chores send I explain I feel like I do everything, I get the "why didn't you ask?". He has eyes and a brain too! Are men blind to bloody ditty dishes / rubbish / dirty clothes on floor etc? And when I do ask he does it in a silent,grumpy way, or half does it (eg. Leaves half the dishes!?) or said he'll do it later and never does. It's like extracting teeth and then I usually just do things cos it's easier.

The bins, we agreed on moving in together, would be his sole responsibility as I can't always manage the stairs down to the wheelie bin, but even then the bin bags will pile up and I'll say can you take that down and all i get Is "can't, the bins too full" and I have to prompt and push a skip trip. Cos obviously that's out of his capacity to think of.

Were expecting our first child in a couple of months and I do worry it will end up being me doing all baby duties plus housework.

I drink more than I should. I have tried to explain my justification for this before: my day has no definable end. A glass of wine signifies this, end of the working day, and three means I don't give a shit. The mental load is gone. This article sums it up. My day has no end, my mind is constantly thinking about what needs doing. Sorry for rambling but this is a lightbulb for me. I wonder how many women turn to a glass of wine as a fucking retreat from this shit.