Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Ballet classes

197 replies

Awholelotofhot · 15/05/2017 13:43

I took my two year old to a ballet class today as she loves a dance. I was surprised to find the class was all girls and one of them also had a tutu on! Also it was all very 'graceful' (as I guess ballet is!) however it made me wonder if going to a class like this would start to ingrain in her that ballet is for girls and girls are graceful and pretty etc. Am i over thinking this?

OP posts:
AlexanderHamilton · 15/05/2017 17:49

Buttered parsnips - that is a rule of your teacher, not your exam board. My daughter has worn knickers (albeit nude coloured seam free dance ones) for every single exam from Grade 1 up to Intermediate & will do again when she takes Advanced 1 next year.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 15/05/2017 18:10

Anyone who wore pink would have probably have been looked down on by the rest of us as being someone with 'princess issues' and pretensions

Sneering at anyone wearing pink is far worse by a considerable distance than wearing pink.

the fact is that if she continues all she'll learn is that ballet is for girls and girls wear tutus, dance gracefully and look pretty!

Surely taking her to a ballet , whether live or a cinema screening will show her men and boys dance?

Yes , female ballerinas wear tutus and are graceful. I would describe them as beautiful and elegant, if grown up rather than pretty.

What exactly is wrong with being graceful, elegant, beautiful, pretty or tutus?

My son went to ballet lessons at that age.

Ohyesiam · 15/05/2017 18:20

I've not read the whole thread, but of on to say that of your dd continued with ballet she will find that there is nothing soft and fluffy about it. It is c wholly about discipline both mental and physical.
It's really like being in the army, only in pink.

NataliaOsipova · 15/05/2017 18:25

I'd look for a different class! My DD does ballet and they have a pretty plain uniform (leotard and tights). I suspect the tutus may only be allowed in the baby classes, though - it's worth checking if it worries you.

Awholelotofhot · 15/05/2017 18:36

We had 'good' and 'bad' toes today which annoyed me. Good toes were pointy and bad we're not. Toes are toes to a 2 year old.

Agog at make up on a 3 year old although a Facebook friend has a DD who does cheerleading and she's caked in make-up....depressing

OP posts:
Brokenbiscuit · 15/05/2017 18:49

I wanted my dd to take up karate as a hobby. She had other ideas, and 9 years on, she is still doing ballet! She loves it!

It certainly hasn't encouraged her to think that women should aspire primarily to grace and beauty. For her, it's as much about strength, discipline, perseverance and teamwork. She trains with the most fantastically supportive group of girls - there were boys when she was tiny, but they have long since given up - and she has an amazing teacher as a female role model who has gone after her dream and built up an incredibly successful business.

The teacher chooses some fantastic songs for them to dance to, and I love to see girls of all shapes and sizes, dancing so confidently on the stage.

I wouldn't have chosen ballet as a hobby for dd, but looking back, I think it's been brilliant for her in so many ways.

ScarlettFreestone · 15/05/2017 19:07

Erm, "good toes and bad toes" annoyed you? Confused

You are way overthinking this. Ballet requires pointy toes. It's just a age appropriate way of explaining that in ballet class ties should be pointed.

She's not going to grow up with toe issues. Grin

likeababyelephant · 15/05/2017 19:21

I plan on taking my DD to ballet and karate when she's a bit older so she can have the best of both.

coldcanary · 15/05/2017 19:23

It seems that you want to find annoying things about ballet, is it really worth it?
There are many ways to show her that ballet isn't just for girls - it's been used by male (and probably female?) rugby teams for years for fitness training for a start! Swan Lake or Sleeping Beauty by Matthew Bourne? Professional ballet isn't exactly starved of men and both male and female dancers are athletic and strong as well as graceful.
As for tutu's in my DD's brief foray
ballet she was allowed to wear a tutu. She begged, we folded. That was 5 years ago. I'm still waiting for her to develop her pink princess issues (whatever they are..Hmm)

BirdBandit · 15/05/2017 19:32

My daughter attends a ballet class where the pink skirt/tights leotard is a uniform. The staff found that allowing the wee ones to wear their choice turned into a tutu size/competitive mums arms race. It was distracting.

Ballet isn't sexist unless you make it. My son has a healthy respect (and possibly a bit of a crush) on one of my friends, an adult dancer with tattoos and an amazing dance wardrobe, he thinks is "brilliant, badass" because she can walk on her toes.

Butteredparsnip1ps · 15/05/2017 19:33

AlexanderHamilton Thank You for that. The School told us it was for the exam board, so I'm pleased that you have suggested otherwise. It really bugs me that such young children aren't allowed them.

Maudlinmaud · 15/05/2017 19:40

My youngest goes to ballet. She also plays football and rugby, in her age category it's a mixed team. I just let her participate in whatever she feels like. I have seen boys at her dance studio and have to say at festivals they stand out as being very good.

RoseAndRose · 15/05/2017 19:48

I think your issue might be with the ethos of this specific class, rather than with ballet in general.

There are quite s lot of boys dancing in the preschool years (it drops off rapidly at Reception age).

Perhaps a class which has more boys would suit better?

ATailofTwoKitties · 15/05/2017 19:55

It's really like being in the army, only in pink.

Grin

DS was slightly worried that his Dance GCSE would get him picked on at his recent army selection day.

It didn't.

Awholelotofhot · 15/05/2017 20:10

scarlett you say that but she tried to rip her own toes off tonight...

OP posts:
MiaowTheCat · 15/05/2017 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlexanderHamilton · 15/05/2017 20:14

It was good toes naughty toes when dd was little. It's just a fun excercise to point & flex your feet.

Wait til it gets to 64 releves each leg.

Parsnips - underwear should not be visible in exams but that's not rocket science.

Your dd's uniform sounds like it could be BBO?

OlennasWimple · 15/05/2017 20:17

OP - if your DD is really not enjoying ballet, perhaps it's not for her

"good toes, naughty toes" is a time honoured exercise to help little ones understand how to point their toes properly (it's not as easy as it looks!), which is critical to ballet posture / lines

MiaowTheCat · 15/05/2017 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Awholelotofhot · 15/05/2017 21:05

Olennaswimple she's only been once and she's two so if running around laughing hysterically counts as liking it then she did!

OP posts:
NataliaOsipova · 15/05/2017 21:18

I am immensely irritated though that for exams, girls as young as 6 are not allowed to wear knickers under their leotards. Now that is fucking sexist

We were told that they lose marks for presentation if you can see their underwear - therefore, for the younger girls, my DD's teacher suggested it was just easier for them to go knickerless. She said the older girls get high cut nude knickers which can't be seen under the leotard and tights.

AlexanderHamilton · 15/05/2017 21:20

At least they don't have to wear a dance belt like the boys.

PunkrockerGirl · 15/05/2017 21:38

She's 2 and its already annoying the fuck out of you. Maybe it's time to try a different activity. If you can't engage with the fact that ballet requires 'pointy toes' then it's clearly not the activity for you your daughter.

BeyondStrongAndStable · 15/05/2017 21:52

Oo, good toes/naughty toes is a throwback that I can still do. Fab! Grin

NeverTwerkNaked · 15/05/2017 22:32

when dd did "good toes naughty toes" for the first time it was like being transported back in time 30 years for me!

I think childhood should be about balance, and encouraging their interests while also keeping children open to all the other options out there.
Dd (3.5) showed an interest in dance almost before she could walk. Her nursery do a lot of dance (with all the boys and girls) and spotted very data how she "transformed" when she danced.
Outside of dance she is a rather wild and feral child, who loves swinging from the climbing frame, scooting down ramps at the skate park, and squabbling. But I guess if you saw her just for the 30 mins a week she does ballet in a pink leotard you might (wrongly) make all kinds of judgements about the way I am bringing her up. She lives to dance. First time she took a ballet class she came running out saying "mummy I NEED to do this!". She does musical theatre too now, and is looking longingly at the tap classes . We go to science museums, skate parks, sports matches, swimming, gymnastics etc but she basically sees these as ways to pass the time until her next dance class.
So yes, you might judge me because she dances and her brother doesn't. But he had the same initial exposure (dance at nursery), I have always offered him chances of dance lessons and shown videos of male ballet dances, but he would (to paraphrase) prefer to eat a bowl of sprouts than attend a dance class.

Had it been the other way round, I would happily ferry him to dance lessons.

Sorry, am rambling and tired, but I think we don't need to panic about girls doing ballet if that is what they want to do. feminism (to me) is about choice, as long as girls have choices and opportunities to try different interests then we are raising them fine

Swipe left for the next trending thread