Page 2 | Ballet classes

Awholelotofhot · 2017-05-15T12:43:49+00:00

I took my two year old to a ballet class today as she loves a dance. I was surprised to find the class was all girls and one of them also had a tutu on! Also it was all very 'graceful' (as I guess ballet is!) however it made me wonder if going to a class like this would start to ingrain in her that ballet is for girls and girls are graceful and pretty etc. Am i over thinking this?

OlennasWimple · 15/05/2017 15:35

Yy to other posters' experience of doing ballet

No no no to wearing a tutu in class!

NoLoveofMine · 15/05/2017 15:36

It's hardly "trendy" when stereotypes and society imposed "gender" is rife at the moment. If anything, it's becoming more ingrained with the idea that children who have particular interests might be the wrong sex if they don't match with what's deemed appropriate for a girl or boy.

Why on Earth should parents not take their daughters to do judo? Plenty of girls do martial arts. The take up at my school of that particular sports half option has been sizeable from Year 7. I'm baffled by your implication this wouldn't happen.

CryingShame · 15/05/2017 15:37

My DS is the sole boy in his ballet class and not remotely bothered by it. I did find him some footage of men doing ballet to stress that they do more than just prop up the female dancer. He loves the strength and exercise bit of it, and will tell me about the exercises that open your hips etc. Any implication that it's pink and fluffy and only for girls has completely passed him by, he just complains about the girls shoehorned into ballet because the parents think their girl should do ballet -t hey tend to muck around in class and not listen so the teacher has to repeat stuff.

SylviaPoe · 15/05/2017 15:38

DD is young adult now, and I believe that what has been far more important to her character than challenging gender stereotypes is constantly reinforcing the message that girls and women matter.

It doesn't matter whether boys and men are or are not doing any particular activity or interest. It doesn't matter what men or boys think of any particular activity or interest. We're people; we're not people adjacent.

The message that girls matter and the problem of gender stereotyping often run into conflict with each other. People on this thread have pointed this out with questions like what is wrong with being graceful?

When there's a conflict between the two, I always go with girls matter.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2017 15:42

All I got out of ballet was a reminder that being short and naturally rounded in the middle was a no-no. My tights always wrinkled, I was always being compared unfavourably to the tall girls and frankly it was boring.

I've since learned that dance does not always equal ballet.

I'm in the anti ballet camp (I feel quite glad that I have my toes) - but there are other forms of dance that are a lot of fun!

drinkingtea · 15/05/2017 15:44

Both American football and real regular football players famously use ballet training to improve their fitness, strength and fluidity of movement.

Firenight · 15/05/2017 15:46

My 3 year old DD goes to ballet with her dad; he used to do ballet as a teen. No gender stereotyping here. DS would have gone too had he showed any interest in music or dancing.

NoLoveofMine · 15/05/2017 15:48

It doesn't matter whether boys and men are or are not doing any particular activity or interest. It doesn't matter what men or boys think of any particular activity or interest. We're people; we're not people adjacent.

Definitely an interesting point. I can see both sides, as it does sometimes feel as if boys/men have to be into something for it to be worthwhile - almost like a past time is legitimised by them but were it to a preserve of girls/women it'd be inferior. On the other hand I do think certain pursuits being seen as being for either girls or boys is harmful and limiting to all, and girls shouldn't be pushed into activities which encourage them to conform to artificially created notions of "femininity" (not saying ballet does this though).

Dawnedlightly · 15/05/2017 15:51

We have professional ballet dancers, male and female in the family and my dss and dds did it as children. TBH I'm very glad they didn't continue as it's a poorly paid job for males and females, it takes a dreadful toll in the body and as a feminist I think it is problematic in terms of body image etc.

AliciaMayEmory · 15/05/2017 15:53

My DD rocks up to her ballet class in her DM boots, denim dungarees and camouflage print jacket. She's 10 and has been dancing since age 3. She is graceful in her class but knows that that isn't how she has to act in every day life. She also does karate and knows that both of these activities keep her body strong and healthy. It's about balance and letting them find their own path. Even if your DD was the girl who wanted to wear the prettiest, pinkest, most sparkly Princess dress in the whole world, that doesn't make it shameful and wrong. Give them lots of choice, different things to try and let them find their way.

TheMogget · 15/05/2017 15:58

I would like my children to experience equality, so that whatever they do is not restricted by them being male/female. That doesn't mean I wouldn't allow my daughter to do ballet because it can be seen as 'girly' anymore than I wouldn't stop my some doing football because it is 'boyish'.

If she enjoys it let her carry on. It seems like it's you that has categorised being 'graceful' as being girly...

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2017 16:00

We have professional ballet dancers, male and female in the family and my dss and dds did it as children. TBH I'm very glad they didn't continue as it's a poorly paid job for males and females, it takes a dreadful toll in the body and as a feminist I think it is problematic in terms of body image etc

Yeah, there was always that shit about being tall and slim and beautiful - tough shit bulemia if you weren't. That's why I prefer other forms of dance quite honestly.

SylviaPoe · 15/05/2017 16:03

It's a disadvantage to be tall as a female ballet dancer.

NoLoveofMine · 15/05/2017 16:05

It seems like it's you that has categorised being 'graceful' as being girly...

I don't think the OP did; she said she wouldn't want her daughter feeling girls had to be "graceful"/"pretty" which isn't the same and is an understandable concern.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/05/2017 16:20

It's a disadvantage to be tall as a female ballet dancer

Fuck knows. I know when I did ballet between 4-8 before I escaped it was the tall and slim girls who were the venerated ones who got all the lead parts and teacher's attention one of them grew up to have huge tits and left ballet after though

Railgunner1 · 15/05/2017 16:22

Why on Earth should parents not take their daughters to do judo? Plenty of girls do martial arts. The take up at my school of that particular sports half option has been sizeable from Year 7. I'm baffled by your implication this wouldn't happen.
They would, but because they like judo. They wouldn't make a gender challenge fuss on social media about it.

NoLoveofMine · 15/05/2017 16:25

They would, but because they like judo. They wouldn't make a gender challenge fuss on social media about it.

That wasn't what your post implied to me and who's "making a gender challenge fuss"?

umberellaonesie · 15/05/2017 16:28

My son does ballet.
At a recent boys only masterclass the buzz words were graceful and elegant.
So yes it is difficult in a all girl class and a,sea of pink but boy ballet dancers must be graceful and elegant and pleasing to look at. It is a performing art after all.

LexieB · 15/05/2017 16:34

My DD does ballet she is 10. She does not like pink!! she loves the discipline, exercise, friends she has made & the boy in her class has just got a place in Year 7 at White Lodge. Ballet is brilliant she is not interested in 'screen time' a lot of her friends are phone obsessed. She is just so happy dancing. I would not deny your DD a wonderful opportunity

hiveofactivity · 15/05/2017 16:39

I don't think dd aged 2 could have really 'expressed' a firm interest in pursuing a hobby. She trotted along to whatever we took her to. Loved something one week. Hated it the next. We were driven by cost and convenience.

Nothing wrong with ballet at all but logically you do have to wonder when toddlers are being taken by their parents whether its the 2 year olds decision or a sub-consciously stereotypical decision by parents.

All of the (several) ballet classes in our area have majority girls. All of the football and rugby classes have majority boys. There must be a reason why.
This includes extra curricular classes at dd's school (by then many kids have already been doing those activities outside of school for some time so I guess they're just continuing it).

Other classes, such as martial arts, street dance, gymnastics (but not the older age groups) have been more mixed in our area and at the school.

sticklebrix · 15/05/2017 16:47

Railgunner I have to admit that we did exactly that. My DD's ballet class was all girls in a princessy atmosphere. When the teacher started talking about 'good' and 'bad' tummies (stuck in or out) and making comments about the kids' prettiness I deregistered them. Just didn't feel comfortable with that. Although I'm sure that other teachers teach differently.

We later registered them for... judo Judo has given them tons of strength and confidence on a very level playing field with the boys.

sashh · 15/05/2017 16:51

ll she'll learn is that ballet is for girls and girls wear tutus, dance gracefully and look pretty!

Don't count on it.

For some reason I watched, 'toddlers and tiaras' a while ago. One little girl was going to come out of a 'box' like a barbie doll to do her dance routine. But before she got all sparkly and dancey her and dad put on their dungarees and she got out her own set of power tools to help him make the 'box'.

I still disagree with the whole pageant thing but this girl was as happy doing the woodwork as the pageant.

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 15/05/2017 16:51

Most ballet teachers strongly discourage the wearing of tutus to class. They are for performances and you only get to wear one once you've reached a certain standard and age.
Some classes for little dancers do push the pink and princess angle as a marketing tool, but not all. The uniform at the dance school DD works at is blue, and the teaching for tinies focuses a lot on using movement to tell a story.

Butteredparsnip1ps · 15/05/2017 16:56

I don't have an issue with Tutus or floaty skirts. Boys are welcome at the school DD attends and wear a white vest and black shorts. Younger girls wear a pink leotard with a sewn-in skirt and older girls a plain, swimming costume style, navy leotard.

I am immensely irritated though that for exams, girls as young as 6 are not allowed to wear knickers under their leotards. Now that is fucking sexist.

coleridge · 15/05/2017 17:20

I did ballet for years and years and would go back to it now as an adult if I had a free minute here or there!

I liked the exercise, the work I put in on improving, and I love how flexible it made me (still very flexible!). Yes, it's pink and graceful and 'girly', but it's also something that teaches hard work and dedication. I don't think I'd think twice if a daughter or son wanted to do ballet.