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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Okay men, strip clubs & stay dos

118 replies

Motherknowsbest84 · 09/05/2017 09:50

Okay not sure this is the right place to write this.. But something has really griped me lately..

Why do men use stag dos & boys being boys as an excuse to go to a strip club or have a lap dance.

If under any other circumstances having a naked woman rubbing up against you and getting off on it is cheating. Why would being on your stag do be any different?

People don't seem to understand my morals on this!

OP posts:
Fairybella · 09/05/2017 12:28

My partner and I are in this debate and have agreed no stag dos or hen Partys... as we both don't feel he need for one last blow out... but he does feel the pressure from mates to not only have a night out but even a weekend...

Original poster
Motherknowsbest84 · 09/05/2017 12:31

Who even made up this shit!

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Pardonwhatnow · 09/05/2017 12:36

I was stag do for my brother in law not long ago. There were no strippers or dance clubs as several of the people going (me included, made it clear it either wasn't their thing or their other halves wouldn't approve.

The hen do was out a bar that was rented as a private venue for the occasion. "Buff butlers" male strippers etc. As apparently that way round it's just a laugh.

Original poster
Motherknowsbest84 · 09/05/2017 12:47

pardon
It's not okay either way round

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likeababyelephant · 09/05/2017 12:49

Ive been to 3 hen dos. 3 had male strippers. The brides to be both groped the male stripper...

But I do understand that it's not as common as strippers/prostitutes on stag dos

Pardonwhatnow · 09/05/2017 12:51

It's not okay either way round

Agreed.

Sort of kills the feminist argument when I know more woman who have groped male strippers than the other way round though.

GuardianLions · 09/05/2017 12:55

I know more woman who have groped male strippers than the other way round

Really?? Please do tell me more... Lots of 'feminist argument killing' details please.... otherwise it might just sound like those bullshit urban myths that antifeminists say like 'woman screams at man for holding door open'.

Pardonwhatnow · 09/05/2017 13:04

None of my mates or circle of friends go to strip clubs or have strippers at stag dos.

The only exception I recall was a stripper was arranged for the coach we were on to a venue about four years ago. We don't have drinks served by hired in naked woman. A club will often supply a "hostess" to look after your group of you are in the VIP are but that's just a pretty student earning a spare few quid by bringing drinks while fully clothed and if were a group of woman you would get a bloke doing exactly the same.

Male strippers seem to be much more popular on hen dos, woman's birthdays etc. Roughly one in three my wife has been to over the last five years has involved a bloke with his non out, and in several cases the "ladies" have been able to touch, stroke, lick etc as they please.

Based on nights out I have and people I talk to the stereotype that men harass female strippers and woman don't do the same is at least 15 years out of date, and if anything I would now say it happens more the other way around.

I am talking about the examples given of group events such sad stag do. There is clearly still a problem with single men using female services as individuals that I haven't seen evidence of existing the other way around.

Original poster
Motherknowsbest84 · 09/05/2017 13:05

I've been to 2...
Never had a stripper, they had morals and would rather go home and grope their partner while actually getting something out of it. Oh and no guilt..
When people plan stag/hen dos in places like magaluf, you just know they're planning on strippers. Also begs the question, whether they are mature enough to be getting married in the first place.

OP posts:
GuardianLions · 09/05/2017 13:14

I am not convinced about this thing of male-strippers being more normal at hen-dos - there is now this whole 'stag weekend' thing now, where groups typically go to Amsterdam or Prague - places known for their sex industries - I know a lot of men who have been. And the hen-do thing is more going around Brighton or Leeds or where ever in a limo wearing an L plate 'trying' to be wild have a good time. I haven't actually been to one of those myself - for some reason the hen-dos I've been to have involved going for a picnic before going out to get pissed - not exactly wild.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 09/05/2017 13:35

I am another who is baffled by the claim that male strippers are more common than female strippers Confused

I'll never forget the night I went with my arsehole abusive ex to his friend's birthday in the pub. About halfway through the night, one of the 'lads' went around collecting money for a 'surprise'. I didn't ask, ex didn't have cash on him so pilfered some out of my purse, no big deal.
The surprise was a stripper that all the guys went to watch in another room while the mugs girlfriends, me included, sat in the bar in almost silence. I couldn't quite believe it.
The things he said she did, and that some of the men watching did to her, I was truly shocked at. I do not shock easily.

dailydance · 09/05/2017 13:39

Boyf is going on one shortly. They sorted the strip club and have paid in advance for a stripper to do things to the groom in the club. It makes me feel disappointed and sad that men are still like this. I don't know how I'll feel about boyf. I don't think I'll want to sleep with him for a while. I'm not sure if I'll want to see him again even. I certainly won't want him to touch me.

GuardianLions · 09/05/2017 13:41

Flowers daily

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 09/05/2017 13:47

Oh daily Sad

Missb00 · 09/05/2017 13:49

daily.. Flowers does he know you feel this way? No doubt he will say there's nothing to worry about, he loves you, it's only fun, all the boys are doing it yabba yabba yabba

AssassinatedBeauty · 09/05/2017 13:49

I was once out for a quiet night out in Brighton with a small group of friends. A stag party turned up in the pub, and then shortly afterwards a stripper turned up and did her whole routine just in the main pub area, not in a side room - just right in front of the bar. I was astonished that the pub staff just seemed to ignore it, and I was very perturbed to have to watch what was going on. We left shortly afterwards.

I have never been to a pub and had a male stripper turn up for a hen party. No hen party that I've been to involved male strippers and no hen party I've ever heard of that my friends and family have been to have involved a male stripper. As far as I'm aware there are no clubs where there are male strippers with a female audience, whereas there are strip clubs with female strippers in many many towns and cities.

The assertion that women do it too is not relevant to what's being discussed here.

Original poster
Motherknowsbest84 · 09/05/2017 13:50

Have you told him how you feel?

OP posts:
Original poster
Motherknowsbest84 · 09/05/2017 13:53

everything
assisnated
That is shocking.. the audacity of these men seriously!!
It'd be a deal breaker for me

OP posts:
EverythingEverywhere1234 · 09/05/2017 13:55

Quite, Mother. Sadly that was nowhere even close to the worst thing he did but honestly, if my DP did the same, he'd be out the door.

Original poster
Motherknowsbest84 · 09/05/2017 13:57

The idea that it's okay because it's payed for and not done spontaneously absolutely baffles me..
Isn't it worse roles eyes

OP posts:
Original poster
Motherknowsbest84 · 09/05/2017 13:59

Also daily I'd be tempted to tell the wife.
I mean no offence but if like to know the man I'm marrying has no regard for my dignity.. His mates are basically laughing at her.. EW

OP posts:
dailydance · 09/05/2017 14:13

I don't know any of them. I'd keep out of it anyway, as for all I know the wife-to-be could be ok with it. I have no idea; never met them.

He knows I'm not over the moon about it. I told him that I may be a bit off with him when he comes back. I'm certainly not going to go into more detail than that, otherwise it could sound like an ultimatum. I don't want to stop him going; it's his choice to go and it's my choice if I can be with him afterwards. He said it's not his scene and he won't be getting a dance. I'm not that naive though. I'm not sure if he'll tell me if he had a dance. I'm not sure if I'd want to know either.

Original poster
Motherknowsbest84 · 09/05/2017 14:27

That is true daily she may well be okay with it..
She probably doesn't know the extent though.

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dailydance · 09/05/2017 14:36

Maybe not but I've never met them. I'm hardly going to poke my nose into a strangers relationship. Also, I wrote it the wrong way around- stripper is paid to let the groom do things to her. Not sure it makes a difference tbh

Original poster
Motherknowsbest84 · 09/05/2017 14:56

No you're right.
I thought you may Have known them.
Not sure what's worse tbh

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