How can I reconnect with feminism?

[Chemicalromance]

Sorry for any mistakes-this is my first thread and I'm using the app

Im in my very early twenties, and I really struggle to connect with the feminist movement. I'm absolutely pro-equality and ensuring the global rights for women, but my experiences have left me feeling uncomfortable about calling myself a "feminist".

When I was at school, women's issues and feminism were never discussed, so my first awareness of the movement came from websites like Tumblr and EverydaySexism. These websites were quite radical, and I struggled to identify with issues such as 'man spreading', 'mansplaining' and the general man-hating subculture that seemed to be present. It felt to me like a group of quite privileged, fortunate western women looking for reasons to complain despite there being so many serious women's issues to deal with around the world, and there was a lot of talk about the western world supporting "rape culture", which I don't believe to be true, so I grew up feeing like feminism wasn't for me.

When I got to university, I attempted to get involved in the feminism society, but found that most of the events/talks centred around 'trans liberation', 'micro aggressions' and trigger warnings/banning topics or events that might be triggering. When an infamous male misogynist was scheduled to have a talk at the university, I was excited at the opportunity it would open for a real debate on gender and equality, but the feminist society held a rally and protest that ended up causing the visit to be cancelled, which I felt was a waste of a good opportunity and probably not a great move in terms of free speech. I eventually left the society when I was openly mocked at an event about future ambitions for saying that I would like to be a young mother. Over time, I completely stopped calling myself a feminist or having anything to do with the feminist movement.

Recently, I've discovered Hannah Witton's youtube channel, and although I don't agree with everything she says, I have found her videos talking about sex, relationships, women's bodies and what it means to be a woman to be really interesting and encouraging. I've been inspired to read more books and interact with more information about feminism and women's issues, and I really want to start reconnecting with my own female identity and feeling proud to be a woman again.

The only problem is that I really don't know where to start. Can anyone recommend some influential women, works or materials that I can look into, or tell me some of the things that make them proud of being a woman and a feminist?

Chemicalromance you came on here to have a discussion and perhaps change your mind and engage with views you may be unfamiliar with.
You have possibly misused a specific term and so have been lambasted and your academic credentials questioned.

That is why many people avoid FWR which is a shame.

Oh don't be silly. She hasn't been lambasted. She made some statements which are factually wrong. She asked for resources and people gave them to her. I am still not entirely clear what else she is looking for- but if I can help I certainly will.

I don't understand how you can live in a culture where 1/4 women is raped and hen frequently blamed for and not see rape as inherent to the culture? It's like saying curry isn't pet of British culture because they eat it more in the rest of the world.

Or a culture where it's acceptable to have sex with women who don't want to have sex with you in any orifice for a couple of quid or take work mates to strip clubs to watch women who don't want to take their clothes off do so

Also everyday feminism is not radical it's bloody nonsense.

so have been lambasted

I think I might have come closer to lambasting OP and I am sorry about that. I just have a pet peeve about people making sweeping statements about how much better off women are in the UK.

I agree with Amy's posts a lot here.

OP I don't know if you can fully embrace feminism without accepting that rape culture is a huge problem in Britain today.

I was once pinned down naked on a bed whilst a man forced me to give oral sex whilst his friends looked on and laughed.

All of those men would be considered nice normal men - some are fathers of daughters. This didn't happen in a war torn country, or one ruled under misogyny relating to religion. It happened in Britain. It happens every day. And whilst it happens we have memes about rape, jokes made, and women (like me) made to feel that it was their own fault, or that they wanted it really.

Mostly, the above incident is why I am a feminist. I want to live in a world where men would step in and save a woman in my position, rather than standing and laughing. I want to live in a world where girls like me aren't afraid to tell.

I have many more stories like mine but not mine to share. Its not an isolated experience, it's a huge problem.

I agree with what Amy says too. I have been raped twice, once here and once in Europe. I have been stalked on the Tube. I have been subject to lesser sexually assaults or experienced street harassment more times than I can remember.

I know that my experience is all too common in what OP seems to see as the safety of the UK and in Europe. Rape culture is endemic in any society where women are valued for their fuckability, and seen as objects to be penetrated and bought.

Thank you for starting this thread Chemicalromance. I am an old gimmer , born in the sixties so reaching adulthood in the eighties - I guess that would make me a second wave feminist? Anyhow, the feminism I grew up with and thought could only go from strength to strength doesn't seem to exist any more; well not amongst the young . So I am thankful for this thread, pointing me in the right direction so that I might get a handle on where the hell we all are now. Thanks again.

Thing is, Everyday Feminism would never use the word "sexism". It isn't a concept they recognise.

There's still a lot of us second wavers around, Whereyouleftit. And there appear to be some young feminists who are becoming second wave after finding the male-centred bollocks of so-called third wave deadening. I feel for young women faced with Everyday Feminism. No wonder so few of them identify as feminists.

I think the problem is too much theory, to many blogs, too many buzz words and memes. Feminism is just common sense for women.
It's a no brainer. We (and by we I mean all women across the world) are still oppressed, belittled, murdered, dis-beleived, paid less, mutilated and humiliated to varying degrees.
I do find that the emphasis on cat calling and sexual harassment in ; Yes, I used to have men yelling stuff at me on the street, yes it wasn't nice, but now i'm older it doesn't feel like the main issue for me, and obviously, for young feminists it is more of an issue, so everyone has a different perspective on which aspects of feminism are important to them, but it does all matter. It's all part and parcel of thousands of years of being treated as less-than. And being treated this way, because it's so ingrained, can feel like the norm sometimes.

Can someone summarise "everyday feminism" for me?

OP I think you've had a bit of a hard time. Persevere, as people here will help you figure things out.

Keep reading and keep your eyes open in the real world as a PP said. Talk to much older women about their life experiences.

FWIW, my teenage gateway drug to feminism was 'The Beauty Myth' by Naomi Wolf.

I loved "The Beauty Myth" too! It really formed my take on feminism when I was at uni.

I find it really hard to advise the OP- not because I'm being belligerent or putting her down for not knowing her stuff, but because we all have different "hot button" topics within feminism that really get us fired up It's like trying to suggest what sort of books people should read without knowing what they like - it totally depends what's important to you. I would suggest hanging around the board, dipping in and out of a few threads and seeing what suggests itself? Good luck.

I suppose most of these terms come into being because they do a useful job at the time.

I do find it all very complicated but am not a student of feminism, just a feminist.

What happened to you induction hob Smashed? Sorry, have to ask

I do find that the emphasis on cat calling and sexual harassment in ; Yes, I used to have men yelling stuff at me on the street, yes it wasn't nice, but now i'm older it doesn't feel like the main issue for me

I know you followed this with "it all matters" but I just had to respond to this. I hate people dismissing street harassment. It is horrendous, intimidating and entirely intended to assert dominance over women and girls. First time I experienced it as I've posted on this board before some months ago was in my school uniform just walking to school one morning, from the Tube station to school, from a well spoke n adult male in a suit who probably lives his day to day life ostensibly normally. Didn't stop him from touching me and telling me I'd "tempt many boys". I will never forget this and though I know "worse" happens, street harassment is a regular reminder to women and girls of our value to society. Only this afternoon when walking to meet friends I saw two clearly young teenage girls harassed by two grown men in a car and it infuriated me.

Honestly I am not dismissing it. I started being leched at by grown men aged about 12 so I do understand. Now I am 40, and mostly invisible, which is liberating. I also feel stronger to deal with stuff like that if it doe arise, which is why picking on young girls is so awful. I guess I just meant that as you get older and life gets more complicated other aspects of feminism come to the fore.

I first came across Hannah Witton on BBC Breakfast and since then have from time to time listened to her YouTube videos. It reminds me that although some progress has been made since I was her age in the 80s, there is a lot more to be done.

You only have to read some of the threads here on Mumsnet and the women trapped in horrific relationships to realise the need for feminism still exists.

Dh was caressing his cookbook collection. Suddenly, they slipped sideways, squeezing a tub of ho chocolate (Green&Blacks) into a death grip from which it could escape in one direction only.

Its arc must have been a thing of some beauty.

It was not to blame and has been returned to its spot.

OP- can I suggest a few people to follow on Twitter? They are quite a mixture and I don't always agree with them all- in fact I sometimes violently disagree, but I always have an opinion! Caroline Criardo Perez. Laurie Penny. Mary Beard. Magdalen Berns.Caitlin Moran.
Emma Kennedy. Hadley Freeman.Josie Long.Manwhohasitall. I could go on!
I assume you've read Margaret Atwood?

And Karen Ingala Smith is magnificent.

Thank you Amy. Another on for the collection!

Smashed- I love your tiles!