Any advice please?

[Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies]

Hi.

Without wishing to out myself - goodness knows that I'm actually feeling scared for the first time in my career as it is - I'm a health education teacher and responsible for sex and relationship education which I'm happy to do. I think there's v
alue in what I do, supporting learners to navigate this stuff during lessons and on an individual or small group basis as and when. I've been teaching nearly 20 years so have pretty much heard it all...

This year I am facing, for the first time, horrendous hostility from our boys in relation to any discussion about equality, rape or sexual assault. I've carried out quite a bit of research, pupil voice etc and, having followed the dots, I've ended up finding some of the YouTubers and sites that they seem to watching. I feel so depressed - there's no way that I can compete with the onslaught of misinformation. In fact, the more I try to address it, the greater the backlash. These are boys that I have known since the age of 11 and of whom I am so fond.

Can anyone give me any advice or suggestions - or even just encouragement to carry on with my work as it's starting to feel quite futile.

Thank you.

Thanks so much everyone. Probably seems rather silly, but having posters validate my concerns is really helpful. I've contacted the pastoral lead (I'm on INSET today) and said that I need support following an incident yesterday and they said they are going to attend one of my lessons.

Yes - all of my lessons are co-ed. Girls generally contribute, but incendiary comments are all from boys. I think the girls are generally quite resilient - I deal with a significant of disclosures and them know when things aren't right in their relationships and so forth.

I've had a look on YouTube just now - previously only looked up the films that the children have told me to watch - and I am shocked at how many include 'feminist teachers being roasted' etc. At the start of lesson all children are instructed to put their turned-off phones in their bag but still...

Again, thanks.

And Dear God, the number of women on there speaking out against feminism...

This may be helpful to you, it's been set up at Oxford uni to promote positive masculinity. It's aimed at students but they run workshops and may have some good ideas as to how to help tackle this.

www.goodladworkshop.com/about/

Would meeting with the parents help? A group thing aimed at parental education about what their little darlings have been watching?

I feel for the girls in all this...

Tony Porter? www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I watched a number of the videos ready to critique abc found that very flimsy. The Ted talk is quite brilliant, thank you and I think I'm going to make it my starter for my year 9 and 10 classes until Easter. Thank you so much everyone. I was in a dark place...

Keir starmer's review of the rarity of false accusations?

It was that data that kicked it all off. A group of boys found found films that proved the data wrong, apparently. I haven't been able to find that exact one but I'm contemplating asking them where I'd find it.

It was that data that kicked it all off. A group of boys found found films that proved the data wrong, apparently. I haven't been able to find that exact one but I'm contemplating asking them where I'd find it.

Mmm. I might take the word of the DPP over random you tubers!

Is this a cross subject point - the reliability of sources?

Fake news and social media bubbles?

I'm teaching healthy relationships and SRE but this does come under the digital competencies framework too. I'd covered this in a technology and ethics course in January but here we are again!

I'm teaching healthy relationships and SRE but this does come under the digital competencies framework too. I'd covered this in a technology and ethics course in January but here we are again!

Hi, the only way you're going to win these boys over is with plain old logic - you're going to have to show them that you make more sense than one of these anti feminist YouTubers - it's that simple.

I happen to be be one of those anti feminist YouTubers ... www.youtube.com/c/BearingBear ... you're more than welcome to join me for a live discussion - I'm perfectly polite to my guests and I am willing to change my views.

Best case scenario, you change my mind on a few things and look like a hero to your students ... worst case scenario, we don't agree on anything and we've lost nothing but an hour of our time ... you'd probably still gain some respect for having the backbone to have the conversation in the first place.

Email me if you're interested .. [email protected]

Cheers.

Have you come across the Bristol Ideal?
They may have some resources that are useful to you, but more importantly they emphasise that it has to be a whole school approach.

Your lesson shouldn't be the only place where their behaviour and views are challenged. Other female teachers may also be having a hard time.

Girls at your school probably deal with sexual harassment and assault on a day to day basis. The Report to the Women & Equalities Committee last September reported the extent of this, and your school has a duty to address this. But again it needs to be the whole school challenging behaviour and attitudes not just one teacher in one period a week.

OP I have no advice but I feel for you. The kind of videos DS and his classmates watch are littered with misconceptions about feminism: that it is against men, that it is about treating women like special snowflakes, that the pay gap isn't important because women choose their occupations, etc.

Even the girls are anti-feminists, presumably because it's not cool and because they've been fed the same misinformation.

Feminist is a standard insult. It made me laugh because one of DS's female classmates called Katie Hopkins a feminist just as a way of insulting her.

I don't think there is much you can do because you are just one person and anti-feminists like MY may be jerks but are very charming and good at arguing. Unfortunately the better/more logical/morally fair argument doesn't always win the day. Particularly in the case of feminism because it's been so wilfully mispainted.

Your best bet is to take feminism out of it and talk about consent and the legal requirements of the land. A great case to study would be the Brock Turner case for three reasons: the consent issue is a good teaching point, the men who rescued her were visibly shaken by it, and her impact statement was amazing and went viral.

Good luck

You could also direct them to this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2884837-AIBU-to-say-that-the-vast-majority-of-women-are-sexually-assaulted-at-some-point-poss-trigger

Thank you for your invitation, Bearing Bear, but I am a professional and have a family and I would be extremely wary about putting myself in the public eye. I also wouldn't want to win any perceived respect from my students in that way. I am, for many of them, a safe person in terms of disclosures, emergency contraception support etc and I think that I would potentially erode that. I also don't think social media is the reason right forum for discussion; too many factors to impact the quality of debate. Thanks, though.

Thank you for the continued advice and ideas. I did contribute to the Select Committee review. I also use Brock Turner and Steubenville as case studies.

I don't generally talk about feminism, more gender-equality and gender-based violence. I do define feminism, though.

Yesterday we did some work on youtubers and how they are funded and sometimes motivated. A member of SLT observed my lesson and was really supportive.

Just found the Bristol Ideal. Looks brilliant, thank you.

I'm glad your SLT member was supportive.

A Call to Men come into schools to do work with boys aged 11+ but that would be an extra demand on the school budget. And it's shit that we have to get men in to talk to boys because they won't listen to women

So depressing. Good on you for tackling this.

Good luck Jellies, I hope you find a way through. It's very distressing to think waves of young men are entering adulthood with ingrained disrespect for fifty percent of the population.

A lot of universities especially those in the Russell group are focusing on this. Perhaps contact them for advice

Ok, no problem.

Good luck.