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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Any advice please?

86 replies

Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies · 21/03/2017 19:52

Hi.

Without wishing to out myself - goodness knows that I'm actually feeling scared for the first time in my career as it is - I'm a health education teacher and responsible for sex and relationship education which I'm happy to do. I think there's v
alue in what I do, supporting learners to navigate this stuff during lessons and on an individual or small group basis as and when. I've been teaching nearly 20 years so have pretty much heard it all...

This year I am facing, for the first time, horrendous hostility from our boys in relation to any discussion about equality, rape or sexual assault. I've carried out quite a bit of research, pupil voice etc and, having followed the dots, I've ended up finding some of the YouTubers and sites that they seem to watching. I feel so depressed - there's no way that I can compete with the onslaught of misinformation. In fact, the more I try to address it, the greater the backlash. These are boys that I have known since the age of 11 and of whom I am so fond.

Can anyone give me any advice or suggestions - or even just encouragement to carry on with my work as it's starting to feel quite futile.

Thank you.

OP posts:
QuentinSummers · 24/03/2017 22:02

Thanks jellies. I think it's OK just feel a bit sad that they've seen it. I may PM tomorrow when I've thought about it more

Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies · 24/03/2017 22:20

You'd be most welcome. I remember nicking my older brother's Usborne book of the body when I was about 9 and having my mind blown. To a degree and depending on the nature of what they saw, this may well be the modern equivalent of that. At least you know and are in a position to guide them through this. They clearly know you're open to discuss it and that is so positive. Have a good evening.

OP posts:
morningrunner · 24/03/2017 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nellooo · 25/03/2017 01:04

This just popped up in my FB feed -

thewireless.co.nz/articles/the-pencilsword-no-i-in-sex

Nellooo · 25/03/2017 01:05

No "I" in sex. Nice.

NewbieSpartacus · 25/03/2017 02:23

I recently stumbled across 'meninist' groups of facebook - I had heard of it before but didn't take it seriously. The posts and the comments are soul destroyingly inaccurate and I think that's where some young people are getting their fake stats and twisted facts from. It's hard to even counter views that are so illogical. Must be so difficult for educators these days, when I was a kid we may have been ignorant but we didn't have the internet to give us misinformation.

IAmAmy · 25/03/2017 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IAmAmy · 25/03/2017 09:53

Sorry, I messed up the copy and paste on my phone, I'll try again and ask that post be removed...

IAmAmy · 25/03/2017 10:01

In terms of their believing of rape myths, this may not be appropriate or get through but these words from a woman who's rapist was convicted in Manchester last week are, I feel, moving:

“I don’t have the words to describe how I feel about Neil. The overriding feeling is anger. He doesn’t deserve to ever be let out. There is no way that someone like that should ever be allowed to walk the streets again.

“There are a lot of cases where rapists aren’t caught, where people haven’t come forward because they might be afraid of the police not believing them.

“I want to say if anyone has had a similar thing happen to them, come forward. If I hadn’t come forward this person would still be out there, doing what he did to me to other people.

“My life has changed now. It’s affected me, my family, my health. I’m coming to terms with it, with wondering why me? I’m not going to be able to answer that.

“I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. I worry a lot now, I’ve very nervous about situations. I’m now very shy around people I don’t know. I was shy when I was younger but I managed to get over that and this has brought it all back home.

“A couple of weeks ago I felt like I couldn’t cope any more. Everyone in my life has been affected, even though it happened to me.

“The emotional effects on my mum where she started to suffer badly with anxiety and depression. She doesn’t really sleep or eat.

“My relationship with my dad is now also very strained. We rarely speak now and he has been very distant from me. I think he is struggling to come to terms with what happened.

“When I’m walking about on my own outside I feel as though I’m now on high alert, constantly looking over my shoulder and about, in a way, suspecting everyone I come across on the street.

“Before Neil did what he did I was in my second year of university. But after this, I couldn’t even get myself out of bed to find the energy or the mental strength to go into uni. As a direct result of Neil, I left university and I am no longer in full time education while I try to focus on putting my life back together.

“I now share a flat with girls who have been through similar things in their lives. I’m worried what is going to come next for me, emotionally. But now I have closure and I want to get on with my life.”

I think it articulates so sadly well the impact of this horrific crime, and touches on how many women don't report as they don't think they'll be believed (contrary to what inaccurate, misogynist rape myths make some believe).

SecondRow · 25/03/2017 10:51

Nelloo, I just came on this thread to post that link Smile

Interesting thread, OP, thanks.

slug · 27/03/2017 10:42

I also really like this video for a short, sharp, no-nonsense explanation about "equality"

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