I'm not the barista's "my love"

[therealsquireofwideacre]

Does that make me humourless? He was highly indignant to be asked to stop calling me "my love" in every other breath, and to be fair the male customers are all his "mate" apparently.

I've lived all over the UK and have never heard a man call another man love.

Obviously not all over - because I have, and others it seems too.

why must (mostly) women accept this behaviour from (mostly) men

I honestly don't think that's the case. Anybody buying anything or interacting with someone in a customer facing role gets called love. Honestly don't think women get it more.

The bus driver called me "flower" the other day.

DH came back from a beer shop the other day, bemused that the woman who served him had called him flower, my darling, sweetheart, and half a dozen other endearments.
He's 42 the woman was younger, in her 30s maybe, so not the usual older/younger dynamic.

I think sometimes if you live, breath and constantly post about a subject you see it everywhere, including where it isn't. Absolutely

*Feels like no one is actually reading what we're writing..

I was. I simply cannot get angry about this. Like several others I rather like it. To be honest to interpret it as a comment on your "fuckability" seems , to me, bizarre.

Oh and before someone calls me out for hiding under a different name (which always happened when I did use to change) I'm Lass. I've forgotten my log in for usual name.

A bus driver in Liverpool called me Queen once. It was the best thing ever. I now work with a woman who uses it regularly and it never fails to cheer me up.

I like Queen.

*The real Queen can go by Queenie

On the other hand my dhs best friend started calling me love about 5 years ago (I've known him for 15years) something about the way he says it makes me want to punch him in the face. I get on well with him so told him but he still slips up sometimes.

It's very hard to know a non-offensive way to be warm and human and greet others.

It's really not. You can just say things like, "Hello," "Good morning," "Hi, how are you?"

I can't think of a single case where saying something with a term of endearment can't also be said politely without one. What's wrong with, "Here's your coffee," instead of, "Here's your coffee, love," or "Here's your coffee, mate"?You're going to be addressing a person rather than just randomly shouting at a crowd - and if you do do the latter, how does a term of endearment help? It's not distinguishing in the way and individual name is, so it doesn't help show who you're talking to.

That's your interpretation. I don't think it is patronising. I'd hate to be called "mate"

Same. I ordered a takeaway once, opened the door without putting the light on in the hall and the delivery driver said, 'There you go, mate.' I was inexplicably offended

I'm oop North and don't (normally) get worked up about this. Everyone is 'love' up here. Although, bizarrely, there is a hierarchy on who can use the term, but it's an age rather than a gender thing. Someone over the age of 30 won't like being called love by someone who is still at school, for example.

Yes to all your post Hippo.