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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Why do so many men turn bad...?

418 replies

Destinysdaughter · 27/01/2017 18:44

Was just thinking about this, May be simplistic but was wondering why so many men end up being rapists, paedophiles, DV abusers, stalkers etc?

Is it something in their family background, being a victim of abuse themselves, conditioning, or something else?

OP posts:

Jmslvlc990 · 07/02/2017 17:47

Rebel no i didn't claim that at all I said most men don't rape for a laugh!
The only experience of rape in my family is of my teenage son being raped by a 40 yr old woman. I don't know why she did it but maybe if she was getting sex elsewhere she wouldn't have done it!
Im not saying that lack of access to sex is the only or even the major reason why rape occurs but
If there are people that want to sell sex and people that want to buy it in a safe secure way where no one is being exploited then why shouldn't it be allowed?

AssassinatedBeauty · 07/02/2017 17:51

Because it still treats women as objects men can buy.

Plus, define "safe and secure", when you're talking about bodily fluids and intimate contact in private.

Jmslvlc990 · 07/02/2017 17:53

Safe and secure in that situation is regulated by the trained and attested sex worker.

Jmslvlc990 · 07/02/2017 17:55

Mostly' your point is irrelevant - the fight or flight response to getting caught is nothing to do with urge to have sex in the first place!

venusinscorpio · 07/02/2017 17:55

Two problems with your idea jml :

It reinforces the idea ingrained into society that women are the sex class and there should be a group of women available at all times to be used by men as men are entitled to sex.

It can be very difficult to tell when someone is being exploited or coerced.

venusinscorpio · 07/02/2017 17:56

It would have to involve PPE, jml, to be a proper job.

Jmslvlc990 · 07/02/2017 17:59

....and it doesnt treat women as objects anymore than a physiotherapist or masseuse or anyone who uses their body to provide a service to another person.

Datun · 07/02/2017 18:00

My suggestion is that it be legalised and regulated. All workers must be over 25, must pass rigorous tests including psychological, drug, and general health. Must have premises, pay tax, NI , full record of clients and ability to regulate there own environments, accounts, cctv, security recordings etc...Do all this- get a licence- get regularly checked both personally mentally and physically and for business H&S

Then, and only then can you lay on your back for 10 hours getting violated by a stream of grubby strangers.

Will an orthopaedic mattress be part of the perks? Along with all that 'respect'.

jms, if even the smallest hint of a smidgeon of a barely perceptible waft of your attitude permeates your real life, I suggest you simply cut out all the blustering and go straight to the result - a mammoth spray of Woman Repellent by Christian Duh should do the trick.

AssassinatedBeauty · 07/02/2017 18:00

jms nearly all rapists manage to restrain themselves until they are in a situation where they are less likely to get caught. They can easily restrain themselves until that situation occurs, suggesting that restraint is completely possible and they are choosing to rape. The idea of men having uncontrollable urges is offensive to men and women, the idea that prostitutes need to be available to reduce the rate of rape is also absurd.

AssassinatedBeauty · 07/02/2017 18:06

Of course prostitution is different to physiotherapy or massage. Can't you tell the difference? Using your hands to do physio or massage is not the same as having men penetrate your body.

Notwhatiexpected · 07/02/2017 18:07

I am REALLY confused, Jml you said:

"That's because women don't have the experience of(or the ability to understand ) how a male brain perceives the need for sex. Try imagining when your ovulating or whatever it is for you, at your horniest then you've had a few drinks, you feel happy elated you really really want sex......that doesn't even begin to come close!.
That's like comparing the desire for a peice of New York cheesecake with pouring cream (my favourite) to the need and desperation of a starving man to steal a sandwich he sees someone holding in the street.
It's not a really desirable nice-to-have! It's a desperate overwhelming, all-consuming need to copulate above anything else in the world! From being teenagers boys have to deal with these urges and thoughts constantly! From the moment they wake up (usually with an erection) to the moment they go to sleep (usually with an erection). EVERY woman they see stimulates them sexually. Not just attractive women. All women! From their friends mum to the dinner ladies. Given the chance they would literally shag every female they could get their hands on until their semen had turned to water and their cocks were falling off!
These urges Never go away. Most males just learn how to deal with them over time because they're Always there."

BUT you have so many anecdotes about how you and your teenage boy, literally hundreds of times (your words) you have bravely faced aggressive sexually motivated women.

How do you control your primal urges, when you are being so cruelly abused?

Jmslvlc990 · 07/02/2017 18:10

I have a friend who is a male sex worker. He has 5 or 6 regular clients, all female, plus occasional comers and goers if you'll pardon the expression. Is he being objectified and exploited by entitled women just because they have money and they can?
Or is he coining it and having a bloody good time whilst making a lot of women very happy?

Datun · 07/02/2017 18:10

Notwhatiexpected

Datun · 07/02/2017 18:11

jms

Why don't you ask him? I suspect he's not very happy.

Notwhatiexpected · 07/02/2017 18:12

Though, let's be fair, after all it isn't always about the victim. Those aggressive women probably just couldn't control their hormonal urges, it's probably an alpha male thing.

Jmslvlc990 · 07/02/2017 18:12

What did I say I had faced?

Datun · 07/02/2017 18:12

I'm waiting for an answer to nots question.

Jmslvlc990 · 07/02/2017 18:13

Datun he's very happy!

RebelRogue · 07/02/2017 18:13

I actually threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Datun · 07/02/2017 18:15

jms

You were outraged over the fact that your son had been subjected to sexual aggression hundreds of times, whilst at the same time saying claiming that primal urges/a biological imperative made men think constantly of sex and how to get it.

Jmslvlc990 · 07/02/2017 18:16

Rebel thought you'd gone! Couldn't stay away obv. Sorry about your vomit. Was it the thought of people having consensual sex?

Datun · 07/02/2017 18:16

Datun he's very happy!

That's great! What's your point?

Jmslvlc990 · 07/02/2017 18:20

Datun I never said I was outraged. Far from it! The exact opposite in fact - I said it's totally normalised- hence the double standard!
Anyway are you implying that if a man touches up a woman without permission then it's OK so long as she's always thinking about (or probably always thinking about) sex?

Jmslvlc990 · 07/02/2017 18:22

Nots still waiting for your response! What are you saying I said I have faced?

AssassinatedBeauty · 07/02/2017 18:22

If it was consensual sex the punters wouldn't have to pay for it.

What relevance does your mate have to whether prostitution should be legalised and encouraged as a tool to prevent rape?

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