Simple question - have you ever said "fuck me harder"

[BeyondPolkadots]

That's it

Me - yes.

Yy someone, I hadn't even thought of that!!

Or maybe if she thought it was still McDonald she was having sex with she thought it was him she was saying it to rather than Evans

Thanks for posting the appeal judgement Laura. Having read the whole thing I see it basically did only come down to them believing the sexual behaviour the three men claimed "cannot reasonably be explained as a coincidence". That is all they had. That was enough to overturn the first verdict. Prosecution barrister disagreed, but they didn't accept that it's a relatively common phrase.

And one of the nasty little shits apparently came forward first as he "didn't believe a woman would have sex two weeks after a rape" and he thought she was just after cash. Typical ignorant rape apologist logic there.

yes NO.

And I wear trousers.

And barely any makeup.

I may take up the Burka.

Or does that make it OK to rape me to liberate me? It's all getting a bit confusing now

laura

Thanks for posting that

This bit confuses me...she went home and slept in the same bed on three instances with her "partner" each morning she work up and asked did they have sex

There is nothing reported On The fourth "date"

I will bet anything you like that she didnt ask that last time because she knew she had had sex

The first three times she may have been checking as she didnt think she had had sex but she must have done as she was in the same bed

Does that make sense

I am likely to remember that i have had sex but not if i haven't

Anyway i still dont think she consented...and isnt there something about having sex under false pretences, i would say being videoed with out your knowledge would count

I apologise if i have phrased the above badly and have upset anyone

I have full support for the young lady concerned

Perhaps we need a separate thread for that one, Venus

(How can these men remember exact dates of sex and details of text messages from 2011?! Or is that just me)

beyond

I belive that they may remember that they had sex but not exactly what was done or said either during the act or by text

Yes Rufus, the brother and his mate watching and filming through the window, a couple of perverted voyeurs, definitely committed a crime against her but for whatever reason that was not pursued. And the brother has gone on to be a school teacher.

I've said it quite a few times. Usually when drunk. I have also been raped. More than once. Each time, I was drunk. Like so many others, I didn't report it. Nor did I report any of the other (literally countless) sexual assaults I have been subjected to since childhood. This case, and some of the ignorant and abhorrent things I have seen spouted on social media about it, may explain why.

Oh and also, quite often, I would initiate sex with somebody soon afterwards in order to try and move on and forget about it. I didn't want my rapist (not that I acknowledged at the time that's what they were) to be the last person I'd had sex with. Warped logic, maybe, but years of being treated as a piece of meat do tend to do funny things to your mind. In fact, I even initiated sex with one of my rapists a couple of weeks AFTER he had raped me. It was a way of feeling in control. I didn't really acknowledge it was rape at the time - I didn't want to be a "victim" again. So to make it all seem better in my head, I began a short fuck-buddy relationship with him. No chance in hell of a conviction there.

to everyone who has been affected by this case. I can't fully express how angry and upset this retrial has made me.

I've said fuck me harder.
I've said other (more submissive) things too, take me etc.

I didn't realise that by saying that I was giving blanket permission to all future partners.

Maybe we could get some flash cards made up?

I do not give consent to have sex with me.
Laminated and on lanyards around our necks?

Fandango yes I can relate to that.

I've started a new "why I didn't report" thread in chat, if anyone wants to contribute?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2757211--whyididntreport?

I quite liked the suggestion before that (as with anal sex I do believe?) consent is never legally assumed and has to be proven that they believed it, not just they "reasonably believed they had consent at that time". If you can see the distinction? I don't think I'm explaining it very well

As far as I can recall I've never said that phrase, but I do understand that porn has now influenced sex so much, it's an oft said phrase. I did have sex post divorce with men my own age, 40s to 50s and they were very much into pornified speak. Needless to say those experiences were not good ones. I doubt that I'll ever have sex again with a someone I don't know very well, and even then, I'll be wary.

Can I just quantity by saying one 50 year old asked if I would like to be fucked harder. I said no. He did oblige but the moment he said it it he and I knew that this really wasn't going anywhere. Another guy just ramped up the speed of thrusts and when I asked him to slow down he said I won't be long. We never contacted each other again, despite it being a six months long relationship.

No. I don't watch porn, and I am not into pornified sex, and I refuse to do any of the things men use as excuse for rape/ reason for victim-blaming out of principle.
(I don't wear a burka, because as of yet, a woman not wearing a burka doesn't fly as excuse for rape in European courts.)
Men as a class will treat me like shit in any case, so I'd rather endure the prudeshaming and not give them something to drool at than go out of my way to please them and then be slutshamed as reward.
It is a game a woman cannot win, so why should I act in a way that makes men enjoy it more?

@legotits: What about an underwear label where this phrase is printed on the pants?
Once a woman not wearing this underwear is used as reason to victim-blame, at least we'd make a shitload of money out of this. What do you think?

Having presumably slept with quite a few young women, Ched would probably recognise that it is a bit of a stock phrase.

Also, and I don't know if this is just my experience or shared by others, but I have had men say things like "do you want it hard? Tell me to fuck you harder" very clearly something they're getting from porn and probably conversations with bragging mates. it's entirely possible that fuck me harder wasn't said by the victim but a question by CE that she said yes to which in his head counts as her asking him to.

I have read very little of the details as it has all thrown me more than expected. I had only recently started to believe my behaviour was not to blame.

I have repeatedly over years got partners/ex-h to repeat part of my assault to the point of pain and i used similar wording. God, that would make for terrible evidence.

I didn't see that I had done that until recently and I have not got my head around it yet but it helps to read others saying they too acted in ways that would not be obvious.

it's entirely possible that fuck me harder wasn't said by the victim but a question by CE that she said yes to which in his head counts as her asking him to.

Or perhaps she just didn't say no. In the dictionary of rapists, the absence of "no" means "yes".

Yep, there isnalways that.

Have now been reading. thought this linked from a Guardian article might be interesting.

Possibly been linked elsewhere given how many threads there are.

thesecretbarrister.com/2016/10/14/10-myths-busted-about-the-ched-evans-case/

Yes, I've said it many times.
My blood is still boiling with regards to that poor girl. C.E is a cunt.

I've said it. And had sex doggy style too. And said it while.

I didn't realise it was so unusual that it would count in court tbh.

Yes

Yes, I've never been a porn watcher and it's unlikely I ever will be. I have had hugely enjoyable sex in many positions. I thought that was normal?