Thing is red, I'm pretty sure most people would use the alternative pronouns on an individual basis. Women don't tend to be rude and unkind. It's not about attacking individuals. It's about getting to the root of an ideology which is increasingly putting women at the bottom of the pile.
It's largely come about following the issue of self identification. Where a transperson needs no other criteria whatsoever other than simply saying I am a woman. They wouldn't have to have surgery, live as a woman (whatever that means) nor present as one.
From a legal viewpoint, it means they can access women only scholarships, compete against women in sport, access female bathrooms, rape refuges, prisons, etc. This is something that is already happening. It's not tomorrow or next year, it's now. There are many examples online.
It also damages women by suggesting womanhood is nothing more than an internal feeling.
Most women, including feminists, are delighted to see a blurring of the genders. Women, historically, have been treated less than fairly based on their biology by having typically female gender roles reinforced. To reduce 'being a woman' to nothing more than saying so, and donning a dress, particularly if it's made legal, makes it very difficult for women to identify themselves based on their biology (see the examples above where biology doesn't count).
It's not about unkindness or rudeness, The trans-activists have forced people to take it way beyond that. It's about the erosion of women's rights.
I recommend you go online or read some more threads on MN. Many people started as allies - why wouldn't you just live and let live, after all? But when a tiny minority are campaigning for the right to be called women means your 11 year old daughter suddenly has to share her showers with boys at school or men at a public pool, it becomes a lot more than that.
I think most people are under the impression that transwomen are attracted to men (i.e. gay) and have had surgery. This is not the case. And it is generally not those individuals who are creating the fuss, which is why you often get a disconnect when women know transwomen like that - they're fairly harmless and don't insist they are actually women.