I'm starting to hate men

[Mamaka]

I posted this on relationships but didn't get any response:

I've noticed recently that I've become more and more anti men - I think since having my first child. So many factors that I could mention and probably many deep rooted issues contributing to this but the long and short of it is why do women have to suffer and sacrifice at every turn?!

I don't really want to feel like this. I have a son who I want to bring up/am bringing up to be a feminist but I'm worried about how my hateful feelings towards men are going to rub off on my dc.

I suppose I am asking if there is a way I can combat these feelings and start to feel more positively towards them.

In other words: whether you demonstrate those values after participating in a marriage ceremony or not is entirely irrelevant.

Dervel: Let's just reject objective standards of secular ethics entirely shall we?

Ok happy to, but in which case everything you have said critically of the various strands of feminism has just self-detonated.

Well quite. If you make such a rejection then every single social and political ethic there is detonates. The idea the people can exist without objective morals, or that any sexual behaviour which conforms to the law and meets a narrow definition of consent should be exempt from them, is bizarre.

Right so you need to outline a rational, objective set of secular ethics to validate your pos....

I'm getting sucked into this pointless excercise of pissing into the wind again aren't I?

Ok riddle me this John: how do you square the frustration and silencing you have subjected women to in this thread with your vaunted feminist ideals?

Tell me about the treehouse Buffy. I had one as a kid made of planks and pieces of old carpet. It was not impressive, but I made it myself and I loved it. I always hankered after a "proper" one of the sort you see in the movies though...

I'm hoping if someone finds the right words, the JohnBot self-destructs.

Let the ladder down, I need to get into the treehouse!

Oops posted too soon...

We could all huddle together in there and decide on the definite list of what to tackle in what order, decided according to properly objective standards...

I don't see how I am silencing anybody? Everyone can comment freely. I could just moderate my argument because women should not have their views subject to the same scrutiny as those of intellectually superior men, but should only be humoured so their pretty little heads are not troubled (or because they are 'small and blonde' as Buffy put it). But that would be patronising, sexist BS of the first order wouldn't it?

I wondered a while back if he was using this as a kind of mating game ..I.e. Fall down on your knees and worship my amazing mind ...and while you're down there blow me. BUt maybe it' a form of masturbation , mentally and physically? Obv does not care that he has ruined this thread for the op and pps Nothing matters as long as he verbally jerks off .

Buffy, I cannot just agree with everything you say even though I think otherwise because you are female. Do you really want people to do that?

Maybe if the treehouse isn't working, we could discuss periods?

I'm sure the intellectually superior man can tell us how we're passing huge clots wrongly as well.

I wonder if he can do it with a random series of ridiculous words in the laborious paragraphs?

(sorry Derval)

Okay, I'm obviously making people really angry again. Was honestly not my intention. Just like a bit of sparring.

I will say I am not just 'jerking off'. I am a victim of sexual abuse (from men and women) and despair at the way abuse is being normalised in our society. The liberal left and feminists are sometimes unwittingly complicit in this culture of exploitation; and rather than just blithely complaining about anyone who stops them from doing or saying what they want, it would be good if (in addition to rightly challenging patriarchal abuse) they could sometimes take a good hard critical look at themselves. Simplistic ideological creeds are not the way forward. Bye.

I don't think you're making anyone angry at all.

I think you just exposed your real feelings about women and now you're desperately backpedalling as a way of trying to cover that up. Instead of signing off with a "fuck you, I'm taking my ball and going home" type post, why not apologise and do what you said you were going to do a fair few pages back?

The only person trying to reduce feminism into a simplistic ideological creed is you. You got found out, you lashed out, and now you're flouncing.

No or you could respect a feminist space as one that by definition should be female led. Also that as well meaning as you may be, as a product of an environment that benefits the male paradigm you may be guilty of propagating damaging patterns, so intense self knowledge and scrutiny should be the order of the day.

If I have (and I do) any critical thoughts concerning feminism I either take them to close personal friends who identify as feminists whom we have a shared history of having each other's back, because clogging up what should be a mainly female space online is counter to my intent.

I am also crucially of the opinion that feminism neither needs nor requires my input. Just cos I have a thought rattling around in my brain is no guarantee of its truth value. I trust feminism can get along perfectly fine without each and every inanity that crosses my mind being expressed. I like to employ a little quality control to my ramblings!

Bye.

John "a narrow definition of consent"

Interesting. What's your definition of consent?

Tryingtomakesenseoflife and Mamaka

I would love to be part of that thread...feel much the same and at the start of my learning process. I don't feel qualified to post anything more on this thread.

When all else fails you pull the " I have been sexually abused " line ..several times .... On a forum where I bet every other woman has gone thru just that and is saying nothing about it. You are an abusive creep.