I do wonder whether the main part of the issue for a lot of transwomen is how gender is such a big issue for men.
If you look back over the past 100 years, in western cultures, women have worked hard to knock over restrictive genderised social norms, stereotypes and economic and political rights that impact women's lives.
Men in comparison (being the more advantaged sex) have only experienced positive changes indirectly as a result of women's battles (for example, greater involvement in childcare).
In many ways women now have far more choice in how they express their gender then men.
Men who wish to reject male gender norms, rather than working to change them are taking what feels like a simpler option of wishing to identify as female. Also, men who don't want their norms to change are complicit in encouraging this approach.
It's not unlike non-feminist women in the 60s & 70s telling feminists they wanted to be men or were all a load of lesbians.
Is the difference in approach because women were fighting for economic and political parity for all women and not just their own individual right to not wear brogues and a tweed suit?