How are we supposed to do ALL of this?

[cakestop2016]

Modern society is completely screwed up for modern women as far as I'm concerned. Why are we expected to go to work AND juggle all of the housework AND take care of the children's needs? Why haven't men caught up in assisting us? My DP is slowly learning that he needs to do more but why am I having to write him to-do lists, why can't he think for himself? Why does he fail to notice the greasy finger marks on the kitchen cupboards when he 'cleans' the kitchen?
why is it like this? Why does all the meal planning get left to me? I'm now seriously contemplating leaving DP and taking our DD with me because I can not live like this anymore.
what's the answer for modern women?

*The more people who are aware

I guess training the next generation is the best thing we can do? So encouraging our little boys as well as girls to help with household tasks or learn to sew back on a button, and little girls how the mower works.

And when teenage boys are given career advice I think they should hear 'how well will that work with a family?'

I don't have an agenda... Also I, as well as many other women, are perfectly able and capable of putting up shelves, fixing car etc. What I don't have and believe most women don't have is the motivation or the interest in those things. Give me the housework any day of the week.

Actually, I'd rather be in charge of DIY and how rare it is. :)

StrawberryQuik
Definitely.

Absolutely Quick

DIY is not mind numbingly repetitive. It does not need to be done every day. You can outsource it. Housework too can be outsourced, as can some elements of childcare. However, unless you are royal, somebody has to do the boring repetitive unrewarding tasks which break your spirit if you alone are doing them and you know another adult is shirking their share.

Of course it can be outsourced ~ what can't? But that costs money. I just had a quote to have some cupboards built and nearly had a heart attack.

DIY is not mind numbingly repetitive. Well ok I take tour word for that - I wouldn't know. But I do know that I'm far more likely to break a nail doing that than I am making the beds.

Building cupboards is not diy, it's carpentry.
You need specific tools and skills that are not really in the scope of diy.
Or you could consider building a house as diy too.

But I do know that I'm far more likely to break a nail doing that than I am making the beds.
Having done quite a lot of diy, I'd disagree.

You need specific tools to do anything around the house that could be considered DIY . Stop splitting hairs. But I do understand your need to have the last word.

Just as likely to damage your nails doing house work as doing DIY?
I'm sure the majority of women would agree with you on that!!

I'm talking tools that professionals tend to have beyond your usual drill.
Building a shelf cabinet is not the same as assembling it. And, again, hardly diy.

I'm not seeing the big difference between a specific tool like a hoover or a steam mop and a powered screwdriver, which is generally all I need to put together an Ikea flatpack.

Hell, you can assemble an Ikea flatpack with a teaspoon if you're enough of a bloody minded masochist

Anyway, I'm reading Lweji as saying:

DIY/housework: assembling flatpack furniture, mopping a floor, painting a fence, doing the hoovering, sewing on a button, mowing the lawn.

Pro-level or skilled amateur/hobbyist stuff: building a bathroom cabinet from scratch, designing and making a wedding cake of professional standard, making your own clothes, re-upholstering the sofa, retiling the roof, building an extension.

Good summary I think slightly.

Personally, when it comes to nails the real killer is washing up for me. DIY, motorbike maintenance, general housekeeping, sewing not such a problem (although I don't keep my nails long these days)

I think the gardening comparison is an interesting one.

My family weren't gardeners, but I've grown stuff and gained a similar sense of satisfaction to that which I get from a clean house, or a knitted jumper, or a shiny car (I do find washing the car therapeutic actually - on a sunny day).

I wonder if the difference is that lots of people do treat gardening as a hobby, so if they don't feel like going out and dead heading, or leaving the lawn another week, they do, they only notice they skipped a job if they look out the window.

Whereas house work - hoovering, putting the washing away seems more relentless, and less like something that you can neglect. You're in the house most of the time, you always need clothes.

What I don't have and believe most women don't have is the motivation or the interest in those things

But I do know that I'm far more likely to break a nail doing that than I am making the beds

Well that's your choice if you don't want to be self reliant, and not bother giving yourself motivation or interest in diy, and like to prioritise a damaged nail. Rather than seeing

1.getting something done without it costing you money, by not getting someone else in to do a simple job.

1. Play the airhead female who simpers she needs a man to do it for her.

I just hope you don't have a DD that you are passing this pathetic view on to. No doubt she'd end up moaning on some forum in the future, about how all men are such children who can't even pick up after themselves, but she carries on with a sigh.

Household DIY isn't hard, and doesn't take much brainspace to learn.

I love to do DIY and pride myself on figuring out things like how to install a ceiling fan from scratch or how to repair equipment. I even diagnosed a tough engine problem in my car a couple of years ago to the amazement of the puzzled mechanics. Knowledge is power.

About 15 years ago a single woman friend of mine decided she wanted a window overlooking the side garden of her little bungalow, in the kitchen. She picked up a sledgehammer and by the end of the weekend had a nice large window opening her kitchen and dining area to the sun. I believe her brother helped her a bit with the installation of the window frame but she did most of the work. Some of us get a lot of satisfaction out of being able to create what we want.

slightlyglitterbrained
That's pretty much it.

Wrong thread?

Wow! You're a gem. Men choose to have children too. They are men's responsibility. When you put your dick into someone, without a condom on it, you are making that choice there and then.

Apart from that, this thread is not even about anything you wrote and you are spectacularly stupid.

Interesting points.

1. Many of us for generations have not tolerated sexist men so the first post seems very strange to us. Why does a man have to be told to do those things when many of us have been married to men who do as much of those things if not more than we do?

1. Of cousre women do DIY. i spend half my life with my arm down drains, was pulling splinters out this morning from some garden work and amn ot too bad with plumbing either. If women are worried about breaking their nails - wow - poor women to have such concerns. Let us open their eyes to how it feels to be a real live human who is competent on all fronts. It is a much better life.

I just hope you don't have a DD that you are passing this pathetic view on to. No doubt she'd end up moaning on some forum in the future, about how all men are such children who can't even pick up after themselves, but she carries on with a sigh

But the opening post and many threads on are doing exactly that - complaining about the fact women are forced to do housework.

I find these threads utterly bizarre. Apparently suggesting that women in their individual relationships might actually behave like grown ups and sort it out is victim - blaming.

Let us open their eyes to how it feels to be a real live human who is competent on all fronts. It is a much better life

I agree- although possibly not in the way you intended that comment. You said "play the airhead female who simmers she can't do diy". Alternatively stop playing the eternal "wife-work" martyr too.