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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

If you had the choice would you rather have been born male?

123 replies

khuliloach · 09/03/2016 20:02

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and its getting depressing. I am 41 and just know I would have had a much better life being a male.

I hate who I am. I have two lovely children, loved being preg and all that. But just see all the males around me have such an easier time. Including husband, who's life hasn't changed at all since having children.

He is so free and has no ties.

I would just love to be a man!

OP posts:

derxa · 09/03/2016 20:05

I hate who I am. This is the problem not being male or female

Icompletelyunderstand · 09/03/2016 20:06

Not at all.

I don't think men necessarily have it easier. They just have it different.

Owllady · 09/03/2016 20:07

You don't want to be a man, you want an equal existence to your husband!

stubbornstains · 09/03/2016 20:09

Not at all.

(warning: massive generalisation alert! NAMALT etc etc)

I see so many men giving women a hard time, but so many of them aren't happy and fulfilled in themselves. It seems to be common for men to have absolutely no awareness of their own emotions, or what they need to make themselves happy. They so often sow misery all around them, while being totally fucked up themselves.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 09/03/2016 20:12

Not even remotely.

But both I and dh were raised in families where both parents worked and both parents did housework. So maybe my life is a little more equal than most womens.

SpeakNoWords · 09/03/2016 20:14

When I was a teenager and a very young adult, I did think this to some extent. Then I reconciled with being a woman, and wouldn't at all want to be a man.

The inequalities that I see wrt women makes me angry and want to take action but it doesn't make me want to be a man.

dodobookends · 09/03/2016 20:14

No.

SurferJet · 09/03/2016 20:15

Yes, I would have rather been born male.

Branleuse · 09/03/2016 20:16

I dont think I could make that choice. Im ok with being a woman, but in all honesty I think id have been OK as a man too. I would have probably just got on with it

zzzzz · 09/03/2016 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TitsForBrains · 09/03/2016 20:17

I have asked myself this question many times over the years and the answer has always been that I would not want to be a man.

LuluJakey1 · 09/03/2016 20:18

Never. I would never wish I had been born a man. I can see no advantages at all that interest me.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 09/03/2016 20:19

Good God, no.

AnyFucker · 09/03/2016 20:20

No.

I am happy as I am.

Seeyounearertime · 09/03/2016 20:20

God no, and i am one.
but thats another kettle with different fish in it.

AnyFucker · 09/03/2016 20:20

I have worked bloody hard on myself to get to that point though

Conflictedkate · 09/03/2016 20:21

Absolutely not. Having experienced pregnancy and childbirth I wouldn't wish to be a man in a million years. I do have a very equitable relationship though where there's no wife work

pollyblack · 09/03/2016 20:22

No, never, I love being female.

I love the way women think about things, and our consideration of others, I don't care if it uses up time, it makes the world a much better place. I enjoy being a (generally) better communicator too, so many men I know have deep issues cause they don't know how to express themselves.

That said if I was a man I would rule the world, with all that spare time imagine what I could achieve!

AnyFucker · 09/03/2016 20:25

being a bloke looks proper shit to me

nulgirl · 09/03/2016 20:25

Nope. I'm very happy being female. I suppose I'm lucky that I have never had to live through what women in other parts of the world have to. I've got a supportive family, great job and a husband who to be honest does 95% of the housework. Don't think I would have all that if I had been born in many other countries.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 09/03/2016 20:28

No absolutely not. Not remotely.

I don't think men always have it easier. I think there was far more pressure on my husband for example to be assumed as a partner- we both are,but I don't think there was a pressure on me.

Men my age who aren't partners will often be assumed to not be suitable or lacking ambition and will be viewed more negatively than women who are not partners.

Including husband, whose life hasn't changed at all since having children

He is so free and has no ties

Um, I think it has. If you think it hasn't and that he has no ties that's really for him and you to address.

exLtEveDallas · 09/03/2016 20:33

No. I've worked in 2 male dominated industries since school (building trade then Army) and if anything it has helped make me the strong person I am. I don't allow anyone to make me feel inferior because of my sex, so I don't feel that being a man would improve my life at all.

ChipsandGuac · 09/03/2016 20:34

Nope! I like me just the way I am.

DansonslaCapucine · 09/03/2016 20:38

My dh's life has changed more than mine has since having dc's. He certainly isn't free.

To answer your question - no, I would bit prefer to be male. I reckon it's just a 'better the devil you know' type thing though.

Not many men would prefer to have been female.

BombadierFritz · 09/03/2016 20:39

No but i feel sorry for my daughter. I would have chosen just boys if it was a choice thing.

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