If you had the choice would you rather have been born male?

[khuliloach]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and its getting depressing. I am 41 and just know I would have had a much better life being a male.

I hate who I am. I have two lovely children, loved being preg and all that. But just see all the males around me have such an easier time. Including husband, who's life hasn't changed at all since having children.

He is so free and has no ties.

I would just love to be a man!

Me too, sadik

No way would I want to be a man. They might have it easier, but they can never know what it is like to grow a child inside them and nurture it with their body. I know many women won't either but when I had my first child I remember thinking that women's bodies were just awesome...the best thing ever!! All women's bodies.

Also I would hate to be a man knowing the destruction my sex was causing throughout the world. I would feel ashamed of my sex. Whereas as a woman everyday I see and hear of women who make me PROUD to share their sex. I would not get that as a man.

As a child and teenager I would have loved to be a boy, as so many games and freedoms were closed off to me. As an adult I have always been happy as a woman. Especially as, in my day, when a couple separated, the father usually saw very little of their children afterwards.

And it really is a good thing for the world that I was not born a man, because I am such a lazy sod, I would have been the last person to be interested in woman's liberation.

But why, OP, are you in a relationship with such a macho man?

If I had the choice I would rather have been born into a society where women have high status

Yes. I would love to be taller, bigger, stronger. To be able to pee standing up. To not have the unsettling feeling that 50% of the population is capable of killing me with their bare hands if they so choose...
My husband thinks nothing of going out after dark walking or on his bike. I wish I had not been socialised to be fearful of doing the same.

YY Snowshimmer and others that have said similar.

I love being me. But if I had another go I would love to be a bloke. It looks like fun.

Also I would hate to be a man knowing the destruction my sex was causing throughout the world. I would feel ashamed of my sex. Whereas as a woman everyday I see and hear of women who make me PROUD to share their sex. I would not get that as a man

I'm not responsible for the actions, good or bad , of other women or men. Why on earth should I be a proud of what a person who has no connection with me whatsoever ,other than having xx chromosomes, has done?

My husband thinks nothing of going out after dark walking or on his bike. I wish I had not been socialised to be fearful of doing the same

I think nothing of going out walk after dark.

So, Lass, is what you're saying that you don't wish you were born a man?

I'm glad you don't feel anxious when walking in the dark. Do you deny that other women may have been socialised that way?

I think being born into poverty these days has a far more drastic effect on your life chances than sex

Poor and an ethnic group other than white.

So, Lass, is what you're saying that you don't wish you were born a man?

No, why on earth would I?

I'm glad you don't feel anxious when walking in the dark. Do you deny that other women may have been socialised that way?

Did I deny that? Don't think I did.

I've no idea what other women feel about this.That's for them to decide. I was speaking for myself - you know my own experience of being a woman. I have lived in cities all my adult life and walk in the dark.

I have never allowed being a woman to stop me walking or travelling wherever and whenever I want. I actually think men are much more at risk from attacks but attacks on men are not reported so much because of their normality.

I don't know Lass, that's why I was asking!

Perhaps there was something in the way you worded your post that made me (incorrectly) assume that you were dismissive of other women. My sincere apologies.

I don't go out late at night if i can help it. I avoid dark alleys and large crowds of men, i avoid single men if they look ropey too.

I don't think being cautious is gender specific? more geographic.

I avoid dark alleys and large crowds of men

As would I if the crowd appeared threatening but then so would my husband.

If anything, if we're out together and were walking home past a drunk man he's more likely than me to avoid the drunk. That's not the same as being constantly fearful of walking alone at night. A man would react the same to such circumstances.

I don't go out late at night if i can help it

This is just sensible really. Not because you're bound to get into some kind of strife or be attacked if you do, but because, if you do get into strife or are attacked, then one of the first questions you'll be asked by pretty much everyone is "why were you out at that time of night?"

Lass it isn't about being responsible for other people's actions. It is about being inspired by women when I see what they achieve, the enormous strength they possess at overcoming so much. And I also feel proud in the way I feel proud whenever an Irish person achieves something special too as I'm Irish. If we share something innate and it is at the core of what we are, then of course you will feel bonded and united. At least I do.

I'm afraid I don't feel any sense of pride just because someone who might have been born in Scotland but with whom I otherwise have no connection with might have done something special.

You might not, but I do. :) I feel a sense of belonging with women, and I like that. I'm sorry you don't feel an affinity but what can I say? I do.

No never, I don't envy men, although there are inequalities and have suffered, I personally feel I have had more success and opportunities given in life being a woman so far and more so than if I had been a man Imo.

I have wondered what it's like to be in a man's head and how different their thought patterns are to my own.
As pp mentioned it has crossed my mind that most of the male population has the ability and strength to harm me or even kill me but luckily it wouldn't enter most of their heads to do so I hope and they don't realise that potential.

I don't think men have it all, I'm aware of the social expectations also put upon them and feel in some situations they wouldn't necessarily be given opportunities or be accommodated for.

Also we can give birth to children which is an amazing thing to be able to do although once is enough for me 😉

Absolutely no way, I love being a woman.

I too am angry about the inequality one faces as a woman, but I will stick with being an old-fashioned feminist, rather than wishing to be a man.

Apart from anything else, I think having a penis must be the most annoying thing in the world, and i have had the spectrum of female reproductive issues. Women are just so much neater down there. I really could not cope with having a penis, I am afraid.

No
I'm happy being me
Whoever and whatever 'me' is
I don't envy DH at all
He's spent years working away from home and has missed out on loads of things with the dc

"I" wouldn't exist if I had been born male - being female is an integral part of who I am. Yet... I decided not to know the sex of my child till he was born, and part of my feeling when I found out I had a son was relief that he was going to have the relatively easy option and I wasn't going to have to teach a daughter to navigate a male-oriented world.

No. I love being a mother and I think it is harder for men to take a step back career-wise and ask for PT working etc as it isn't the norm. I don't envy DH's work/life balance. Though I do wish my DM wouldn't say that she thinks my DH would resent it if I earnt more than him.