AIBU to see sexism wherever I go

[FedUpWithJudgementalPeople]

My gym: all these massive muscle men don't bother to tidy their massive weights away. This annoys me because I want to use the weight bar but I'd struggle to get their massive weights off it. Instead of thinking that the guys who do this are just inconsiderate twats I've started to seethe about male entitlement. These guys assume anyone using the weight bar will be big massive men like them and therefore don't give a second thought to smaller lighter people ie mostly women who might want to use them.

I think it's sexism and inherent male entitlement but my friends says I am over thinking it and BU.

Fair enough Palmer. I respectfully say that i felt extremely intimidated going into the gym for the first time but found that most people don't pay anyone else any attention. I've also been told that by a number of woman as well.

Ah, I must be being thick. I was talking about poor gym etiquette being about not wanting women in manly gyms, and you're talking about feeling intimidated going into gyms.

Maybe we're talking at cross purposes.

Why can't you just ask said person who was using the weights before to help you take them off or remove them?

I do. I normally get help and a apology.

My line tends to go "oh excuse me, can you remove the heavier plates off the bar please, I'd like to use it" and they generally reply "oh yeah, sorry. Didn't realise/should have done it"

Many just forget especially if they have done reps to exhaustion/fatigue. They are literally fucked when they do the last rep.

Bertrand, you forgot smothering the boy babies in warm marmalade and eating them.

Splitter.

Ginger, presumably OP is coming to the weights after the previous user has left the area?

Because it's a small residents gym. When I go in its often empty so I can't ask them to remove them.

But I've now ranted on the FB group for the gym do will see if that helps!

Ooh, good plan re fb group

"Sexist pigs"

Oh, you sweet old fashioned thing, you! I haven't heard that expression for years!

Go on, make my day. Call me a "women's libber". Or accuse me of wanting to spell it wimmin and teach herstory in schools.........

Barefoot then just ask one of those instructors that are floating about perhaps?

I think in gyms many people can be thoughtless, women who leave half their fucking hair extenstions on a treadmill dashboard annoys the fuck out of me, looks like a long haired cat has recently groomed itself there.

Oh God also imagine they've only left the bar to get some water or their weight lifting belt/chalk and find all the plates removed and someone else using it when they come back hahha awkward

Barefoot... surely we deep fry them first?

They are literally fucked when they do the last rep

I'm presuming figuratively rather than literally

Yes to the OP's view that leaving-the-weights-in-situ is a manifestation of entitlement though.

As long as there's no celery involved, I'm easy on cooking method.

Ginger, probably a cross post from you with the op but it looks like there are no instructors - Tbf, even if there were, they may be busy training others etc so better for everyone to have good etiquette!

There's no instructors either.

I think in gyms many people can be thoughtless, women who leave half their fucking hair extenstions on a treadmill dashboard annoys the fuck out of me

ah but that can't be sexist, and why should men feel entitled to have women consider them ? On the other hand....

No instructors and heavy free weight bars available for use, sounds like a recipe for disaster and injury.

So can I ask just out of curiosity how do you know it's a man that's left the bar loaded if the place is empty?

I mean I deadlift anywhere from 60-80kg if I left a bar loaded with 80kg would you assume I was male?

And also with the plates, how are you trying to remove them? I can see the 20kg plate being a bother but the bar is generally 15kg on its own so not that much lighter?

It might well be a mix of you assuming it's male privlage vs someone being thoughtless though.

Do hair extensions fall out when you run? That's shit!

I'm making assumptions on the basis that not many of the residents who use it are female body builders. Also I can see who has signed in before me so I can roughly deduce who it is.

I went in the other night - the bar was set up with 30kg on each side.

If I'm lifting the bar i will probably do it with no weights on or at most very small weights on each side. So removing 30kg is not that easy.

Barefoot they must do also thanks to the women of my gym who;

Leave used sanitary wear in the changing rooms
Shave their pubic hair in shared cubicles
Never put yoga mats back
Sit on a body ball for about 30mins chatting away to their friend, right in the middle of the stretching area
Use the weightlifting mirrors to take pictures for their instagram accounts, and block the view of people actually trying to check their form

The list is endless for both male and female gym users though probably.

Its not sexist at all. Its just being thoughtless on the mens part.
I go to a gym. Would never enter my head this as being sexist.
With respect you are way over thinking.

fed up fair enough, if I were you I would ask someone to demonstrate safe removal of the plates. I can unload a bar racked with weight double what I can lift, but I was taught how to do it safely.

I personally don't perseive it as a entitlement issue, just someone being thoughtless, but we are all individuals and are able to perceive and come to our own conclusions on why someone has behaved that way. For you, you see it as a feminist issue, which is fair enough.

Goodness amazed so many men are on the feminism board. Genuinely quite surprised, not being sarky.

Ginger, wouldn't have thought used sanitary wear in the ladies really affected you but hey ho.

My point is not about general inconsiderate- ness - have already said I'm not that bothered by eg a loo seat up.

However because of the size of weights leaving them in an inconsiderate way does impact on whether I can actually use my gym. Can only assume the culprits assume anyone else using the weight bar is strong enough to remove them themselves. That leads me to believe the culprits are male and see the weight benches as a male domain.

I'm not saying that is always 100% categorically true because that would be generalising, but I think it is often true.

I have also on occasion felt kind of in the way when using the weights, even when I am sometimes eg able to swing a bigger Kettlebell that the men there.

To give you an example I shared the gym with one such man the other night. He had three bars set up, spread all over the gym, even though he can only use one at a time. I did feel somewhat like an intruder when I dared encroach on the massive area he was using. He did not offer to move his numerous items out the way, instead I had to fit around him and his space while he off puttingly grunted away to himself. However perhaps that is just one man, who knows.

Ginger, so basically the solution is that I compensate for men leaving their weights out and being inconsiderate.

My point is exactly that I shouldn't have to do that!

Oh it does, when it's left on a changing bench, right there for all to see, filled with blood I don't even like the sight of my own blood, thanks to my mirena coil this is no longer a issue but someone else's blood horrified me. The smell, the sight, the possible disease risk. No thanks, not for me.

Walked right into that one, well very well played.

In any event I am not fucking moving massive weights because it's not my job to pick up after these people.

People are annoying twats in gyms. I don't use the weights room but there are equal numbers of men and women showing total disregard for other users in my experience. I admit that in general, women are better at cleaning up their sweat. I have no idea what the male changing rooms are like but the women's are so often a nightmare because of selfish, entitled behaviour.