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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Why are men so turned off by women with short hair?

244 replies

MissTessmacher · 23/02/2016 11:34

Just idly musing.

I recently cut my hair quite drastically. Changed my photo on OLD to one with the new do (previous photo was very glam/pin-up style with shoulder length hair).

I've gone from a very steady average of 10-15 messages a day to zero Shock Hmm.

It's not the first time I've observed this phenomenon. The few times before I've cut my hair very short I have noticed it's like a cloak of invisibility when it comes to men.

Anyone care to enlighten me? Is it because women with short hair are considered unfeminine? (What a crock of shit if so).

OP posts:
DrSeussRevived · 25/02/2016 07:41

Not OP, that poster, I meant.

chilledwarmth · 25/02/2016 08:33

Attractiveness is subjective, so while there are some guys that like short hair on a girl, others don't. I wouldn't say it's anything to worry about, and I don't think you can really ask for a "why" explanation. I don't think anyone can explain in a logical way what makes them get those feelings of attraction, we all just seem to have certain preferences.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 25/02/2016 08:52

I have read it and , no , still sounds patronising and judgemental , of men and women.

Gwenhwyfar · 25/02/2016 09:07

"A handful wore glasses (me included)."

This country has a problem with glasses. You'll see quite a few people wearing them during the day, but go out on a Saturday night and it's hardly anyone. I've had a few people ask me why I don't wear contacts. Why the hell should I has been my answer, but you get the feeling that glasses on a night out are really frowned upon.

SoozeyHoozey · 25/02/2016 09:08

I've had short and long hair and every colour under the sun. I found short hair more high maintenance, the style grows out very quickly and needs a lot of trips to the hairdressers. I also seemed to have more bad hair days and it needed more styling. I only get my long hair cut every few months and usually just brush and scoop back in a ponytail for day wear. I don't bother blow drying, using products, straightening etc. It's a misconception to think all women with long hair spend hours preening in front of the mirror.

SomeDyke · 25/02/2016 09:34

"I looked like the male in a lesbian relationship"
There are no males in a lesbian relationship, kind of the definition of one! if you meant you looked butch, not the same, and what's wrong with that? Anyway, I'm short-haired and so is my wife, to sound like something from the life of Brian....... And she gets the double-takes when going to the loo way more often than i do, and she has the longer hair.

Pyjamaramadrama · 25/02/2016 09:52

Totally agree soozeyhoney my long hair is very low maintenance. A cut every 3 months. I don't even prude my hair every day I just scoop it up into a messy bun or ponytail. I don't use any products apart from shampoo and conditioner.

I blow dry or straighten it on occasions when I want to, it's in great condition and ponytails keep it out of my face.

Bobs and fringes are way more maintenance.

TheToys · 25/02/2016 10:02

What is it about Brits and their aversion to glasses? I don't get it. I have to badger DH to wear his, instead of contacts, as they really suit him and enhance his face shape. Granted, have a bit of a thing for a man in a nice, chunky pair of glasses.. But still! It's not like he was ever bullied for them?

Pyjamaramadrama · 25/02/2016 11:54

That was supposed to say I don't brush it every day.

SomeDyke · 25/02/2016 17:14

"How about feminism being about freedom of choice?" Cos that's not feminism, just some sort of wishy-washy liberalism.........

The overwhelming impression I'm getting here is the amount of time and thought and worry that (many but not all) women on here are expressing regarding their appearance, and hair in particular. Styling it, shall I have it short, shall I have it long, will I look like a bloke, does it fit the shape of my face, and on and on and ON.

For whom are you doing all this? Because to be utterly frank, the women concerned don't seem to be getting much enjoyment out of all this effort! But hey, as a little academic proto-dyke, maybe I somehow skipped the 'how to do girl properly' stuff at school.

(Although I did almost succumb to the 'hairy bits are smelly and unhygienic' conspiracy against underarms, but only the once! Unless you're having major surgery, I leave body hair alone, because unlike head hair, once past a certain length, it just falls out of its own accord and twirls off down the plug hole.............(or sink trap when you get tired of cleaning all the gunk out!). If I want to enhance my appearance in a significant fashion, I find tattoos, although expensive, don't require regular maintenance.......)

almondpudding · 25/02/2016 17:28

Because apparently what feminism now is is making really nasty remarks about women based on their haircut, and then inserting the words 'men think that ...' somewhere into the sentiment.

And then justifying such nastiness by claiming it is understanding socialisation or whatever.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 25/02/2016 18:23

I agree Almond.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 25/02/2016 18:43

For whom are you doing all this?

For me, myself, I.

What I don't understand is that adopting a short-haired, butch dyke look is somehow adopting one's own style but let your hair go below a certain length and apparently one's brain cells stop working. I suppose it might be the weight of the hair.

Who gets to decide one preferred style is merely the result of socialisation but another is a strong, independent woman socking it to the patriarchy?

SurferJet · 25/02/2016 19:03

SomeDyke but surely lesbians do stuff to their hair to attract other lesbians?

JeanneDeMontbaston · 26/02/2016 09:14

'a short-haired, butch dyke look'

Did you quite mean that to sound how it sounded, lass?

I agree there isn't something intrinsically virtuous and feminist about short hair, and I also think that it is a bit daft to assume it's as simple as 'people who spend time on their appearance must be doing it for men', because conditioning (social, not Timotei) is complicated.

SomeDyke · 26/02/2016 09:40

"but surely lesbians do stuff to their hair to attract other lesbians?" some do, some don't. What does your average straight chap do with his hair to attract women given that many seem to find the wash it regularly and hey, you've got dandruff so change shampoo! routine too much trouble :-) I think my wit and charm did more for my level of attractiveness than my hair. :-) My main reason for my hair style is convenience and ease of care more than how I think it looks to anyone else. Ditto the chaps I know who seem to only get it cut back every six months when it reaches a certain invisible line, or in the spring, kind of like the way they treat their garden hedges................. Not many go for topiary!

Pyjamaramadrama · 26/02/2016 09:53

Well dh has to have his hair cut far more often than I do as does ds.

I think women are often under pressure from other women. I feel far more judged on my hair, clothes and make up by other women than men.

BertrandRussell · 26/02/2016 11:27

What I find fascinating is how incredibly resistant some people are the the idea that their choices are on their appearance can be anything to do with socialization. Of course they are. Even the decision not to conform shows that there is something to conform to!

JeanneDeMontbaston · 26/02/2016 11:41

Even the decision not to conform shows that there is something to conform to!

Yes! This.

PandoesnotwearRaphaclothes · 26/02/2016 11:43

Agree on the glasses bit in this country, UK. Some glasses are brilliantly stylish and focus the beholder on the wearer's upper face. But being a specy-four eyes still seems to have a negative press.
OP, I don't think it as simple as long hair equals attractive, at least for most men ime. Hair style is just part of the whole package, as it were. Rapunzel had other issues too!

BertrandRussell · 26/02/2016 12:37

"I think women are often under pressure from other women. I feel far more judged on my hair, clothes and make up by other women than men."

What form does the judgement take?

JeanneDeMontbaston · 26/02/2016 12:39

Isn't this basic 'operations of patriarchy'?

Men don't need to spend time judging women. There's a whole industry out there delegating the task to other women.

Pyjamaramadrama · 26/02/2016 13:20

Beetandrussell I do believe that there is pressure to conform, or not. Especially for women. I just don't believe that this is solely for men's benefit.

Just a couple of examples that I can think of. Dh isn't particularly interested in fashion, he doesn't notice whether I wear make up or not. Mil on the other hand offered to take me to 'get my make up done', a few weeks after giving birth, as apparently I'd got to that age where I needed better make up.

I went for a meal the other day and it was my sister commenting on my glasses, my clothes.

It's always women at work who notice if I've lost a bit of weight, or if I'm not wearing make up.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/02/2016 13:27

Did you quite mean that to sound how it sounded, lass?

Jeanne I wonder why you felt the need to pick on my comment given the comments by SomeDyke

^I looked like the male in a lesbian relationship"
There are no males in a lesbian relationship, kind of the definition of one! if you meant you looked butch, not the same, and what's wrong with that?^

If you want to object to the use of "butch" and "dyke" please take it up with the poster I was referencing.

Pyjamaramadrama · 26/02/2016 13:27

Having said that, I don't buy into fashion magazines or any of that. I don't read the likes of the Daily Mail. I try not to surround myself with vain people.

Perhaps I don't see it.