"The Child Who Was Never Born"

[BertrandRussell]

People are sharing this picture on my Facebook- AIBU to be angry and want to say something? Just want to make sure I'm not over reacting.

A woman standing, with a transparent child hugging her round her waist would have been a better symbolisation, without any need for 'forgiveness' on the unborn child's part, but the reminder that they're always there with you.

But hey, that's probably not edgy enough for an artist, is it?

Well, that used to have meaning for me (spontaneous abortion, aka miscarriage).

And I sincerely hope my dear friend who has a TFMR never reads these or similar comments, for I know she found to beautiful.

Gosh don't be uncomfortable. I'd rather look at something and know all the facts.

It is rather beautiful if it was made with my interpretation of it. However, the whole forgiveness for abortion (I had a tfmr so abortion is a passionate subject for me) is utter bollocks. No one needs to be forgiven for making a choice that was either right for them or, in our case, right for their baby.

From what I understand, the artist never meant it to be about abortion and that's just other people's takes on the sculpture?

I think art is very personal. It means different things to different people. To me that sculpture shows a grieving mother who's child is comforting her I think. I find it quite comforting. Like its representing my baby will always be with me, growing as I grow. I can see how perhaps it appears the child is forgiving the mother, but I know when I miscarried I felt a terrible sense of guilt that my body couldn't support my baby. I wanted forgiveness because I wanted something to ease the terrible pain and guilt I was experiencing. It feels to me that the mother's position is showing her absolute heart wrenching devastation, when your whole body aches; and the child is trying to say 'it's okay mommy I'm with you' and that brings me a lot of comfort.

Cwtch, the article upthread suggests otherwise, unfortunately.

Creator's intention is not the only, and indeed not the key factor in assessing art or literature.

If the image is perceived as relevant/resonant/comforting by those who are deeply missing the children that never lived other than in utero, then it could (and to me should) be accepted as such.

The statue is horrible.

Jeanne's blogpost says it all for me really.

The overtly Christian imagery is off putting and the woman shaming basis of the whole piece, by a man no less, is just grim.

Jassy, I read that article but while there are quotes from others saying the sculpture represents abortion, the quote from the artist himself didn't actually say that? Or am I reading it wrong?

I've just read Jeanne's blogpost, while I'm sure it's not the intention, I find it reads like a bit of a put down to those of us that are able to find some comfort in it.

The statue isn't horrible, it's a piece of artwork. We all have different tastes and view things differently. I feel somewhat comforted by it, I accept others may not.

My mother had several abortions before she had me and my brother. She was still troubled by them at the time of her death. She was not the kind of woman to ask for forgiveness and tbh her circumstances were such that it would be inappropriate to expect her to. But if her unborn children were able to console her, that would be a great thing.The picture of the artwork makes me cry. I wish this was a world where abortions were unnecessary.

Many of those of us who are parents need forgiveness from our children.

My apologies Cwtch, allow me to clarify.

I find the statue horrible. I find the use it's been put to horrible.

I'm glad you and others take comfort from it, doesn't mean I have to think it's anything other than a religious slapping stick.

I always saw it as the child comforting the mother rather than forgiving her, basically saying don't worry about me, I'm fine.

I find it very moving. I had a termination for medical reasons of a much wanted baby, and it says a lot to me about that. Not forgiveness exactly but understanding

It doesn't have any resonance to me and why I had a termination.

Palmer, I accept you and others may find the statue horrible. You're just as entitled to your opinion as I am to mine. This is obviously a very sensitive topic, and very personal to many people. My post was more aimed at the blogpost than what you'd said, I feel it's a bit preachy I suppose. But I am probably a bit over sensitive where things like this are concerned.

I now can't get past the intention.

Sorry, cwtch, didn't at all mean it like that, and I didn't write it now! I wrote it a while back, when a friend had asked me to try to put into words why she found it so upsetting. She was feeling odd for having had that reaction, and I didn't think it was odd at all.

It wasn't meant to be preachy, and maybe I shouldn't have posted it on this thread.

No, no, I'm glad you posted it! I think it makes for interesting reading. I don't think I'd have understood why people find it upsetting at all if I hadn't read it. It's just an emotive subject (which I'm feeling overly sensitive too atm). I think it's important to have an insight into other people's views on things such as this. It had never occurred to me before I opened this thread that the sculpture could be seen in any other way to the way I view it, which is perhaps quite closed minded of me.

Thank you for saying that.

And yes, it is emotive, and I agree, it's hard to see it the opposite way, once you've had your first reaction. I will admit I am sure part of the reason I find it so visceral is that I do know a little bit of me would like to think it's lovely and forgiving, but I don't really believe it is. Does that make sense? Hope so.

Yes that makes total sense.

I think I usually would feel the same as you, but right now I'm compelled to hold on to the very few things that have brought me any kind of comfort relating to my miscarriage. This did speak to me, because I did (and sometimes still do) feel like I want and need forgiveness for losing my baby. In the depths of my grief, it was easier to be angry at myself and angry at my body than it was to just be hurt; and maybe seeking forgiveness is easier on some levels than accepting something is totally out of your control. And that's why I kind of have to feel it's meant to be comforting. If that makes any sense whatsoever.

I'm so sorry. That is awful. I do know a little of what you mean and I do see how it feels.

Jeanne you are one of the kindest people I know. And Cwtch too. I'm really grateful to read your conversation. So intelligent, so sensitive. There's so much insensitivity on MN lately - your posts however are very thought provoking and posters like you are why I stay here.

It feels like an unpleasant political statement in the context of abortion, and a serene work of art in the context of miscarriage. It's hard to know what to think without context

I agree with the first part of your statement. As a work of art I thought it was mawkish and sentimental.


I hate it. The artists intent is so important. Creating a sculpture to forgive women for having abortions! Awful.

Every time I see it shared with ohh thinking about loss I post the blog above and an article. No women needs forgiveness for having an abortion.