I would like your opinion on something...

[UnicornsRuleAll]

I am a trans-women, I was born with the male physical body, but always identified as female, did everything commonly associated with "Female" Anyway, I have been told that I should not be allowed to use the female bathroom.

I was just wondering if you agree with this? My gender on my passport is female, I'm attracted to men, I look nothing like a man, yet people are trying to force me into their bathroom regardless, what is your position on the issue?

Unicorns - no-one has said anything like that to you here.

No-one hates you or wishes you harm here.

What's being said is that you're not a woman, you're a trans woman, and as such, it would be appreciated if you could consider that just as you feel uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with men, so women might feel uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with men or trans women - and they have as much right to those feelings as you do.

So the question I have is, given that you might be causing this discomfort, would you choose to use a bathroom that discomforts others, or yourself?

0 testosterone? Most women have more than 0 testosterone

How old are you exactly? Because puberty blockers haven't been in common usage for very long and you must have started on them no older than ten ish?

I also think that 60+ year old men who transition to female and use the name "Kelly" are taking the piss.

want me to die

Who are you suggesting wants you to die? Not wanting you in the ladies does not mean anyone wants you dead.

I don't think there is a feminist viewpoint unicorns, feminists often disagree on this very issue. FWIW I don't mind who uses which toilets.

Op you say you'd feel unsafe in the men's toilet?
But women aren't allowed to feel unsafe having a male in women's toilets?
That doesn't make sense.
Why is being ott to fear a male in the women's but perfectly reasonable for a trans woman to fear the men's?

"Male bodied" So having breasts, no testosterone, no penis and oestrogen in my body means male bodied? Okay.....

Well, having been born with a penis, and not a uterus are good indicators of sex in the vast majority of the population.

Cosmetic surgery does not change your sex.

It is a difficult issue.

I have no doubt that, psychologically, you are a woman. However, whether that trumps biology is a seperate issue. I wouldn't mind you using the female loos, however, I would draw the line at the Olympics thing. You say you'd feel 'weird' competing with men but surely you get that women would feel physically inferior competing against you? Because, however you feel, you can deny that hormones and genital reconstruction changed the fact that you are probably taller, stronger and have more muscle mass than a female, therefore giving you a huge, unfair advantage.

Anyway, that's an aside. The question boils down to how much are we prepared to penalise and deny the experiences of women to accommodate the psychological needs of transwomen. Because we can't have it both ways.

I do feel for transwomen and don't want any individual to experience MH issues because they can't be who they want to be, but I don't want all women to have their rights decimated even more.

If you have a penis use the male toilet.

If you haven't got a penis, use the ladies. But accept with good grace, that as women are socialised to be wary of men in ladies bathroom, there might be times when your arrival might cause a stir.

It would be good if all new buildings only build individual separate toilets which anyone can use and that would eliminate this issue and a few others like too much queuing for ladies toilets only !

I have no doubt that, psychologically, you are a woman

This makes no sense either. Women are people born with female bodies who've lived long enough to become adults. It's not a psychological state.

You are looking for a feminist perspective op?
Are you not a feminist? Or did you want to have less rights through transitioning?

You say things like "You might make people uncomfortable" Never happened, not once. No one has even second looked at me, that's how 'Passing' Works.

It's quite funny considering some of you are saying "Yes you should be able to" Others are saying "You're a male, use the male toilets" And other's are saying "You can but you'd be making women uncomfortable" Very differing opinions, interesting.

Almost like we were real humans and everything huh!

How do you know if you've made someone uncomfortable by the way?

In my experience, if women see something they don't feel comfortable about, they don't kick up a fuss, they just quietly leave, and don't go back.

But, you will note, I hope, not one has called you a 'Pedo'

I would identify as a feminist, but if I say I am then I would probably get something along the lines of "You don't understand what women have to go through" Or something, even though I have had to suffer sexism in my day to day life, but also not being considered a real women from a lot of feminists. So in that respect it's hard, to deal with sexism from one side and other women telling me I'm not woman enough from the other.

You are a transwoman - not biologically female from birth. That does make your experience different from most women.

I agree, ladies loos, but not a ladies marathon. The difference for me is in sports there is a strength or build advantage. I think in a mixed category, XY chromosomes would have an advantage in most sports. That's why there's separate women's events. However i don't think trans people should be excluded from competitive sport. How would you feel about a trans only category? Would there need to be transwomen and transmen events to allow for the same differences? What about pre op or pre hormone treatment - is intent enough to qualify someone? It's a smaller pool so I could imagine cis people pretending to be trans. Is that avoidable?

FWIW, as a post op transwoman I think it's right that you would be sent to a woman's prison.

How you identify is hugely important, so long as it doesn't put others at a disadvantage. That's the line for me.

My other thought is that I as a biologically born cis woman, have no idea what it is to identify as female. A lot of it seems to be stereotypes and traditions which are more culture than biology.

I only meant if I HAD to pick a team, I'd rather pick the females, honestly, I suck at most competitive sports, I can't run 20 ft without getting out of breath, I only play sports for fun. I agree that post op/post hormone treatment shouldn't be able to use the bathroom, that's why up until I got my surgery, I didn't use the female toilets, even though it made me incredibly uncomfortable, I still did it out of respect for others. But after going through all that to just get told "No, you're a man" is quite saddening.

Post-op: women's prison, pre-op male prison.
That's my view, and definitely no competing in women's events.

I take it you mean 'pre-op.'

Oh yes, my mistake

But if you "pass" and no one would ever know, and no one has ever batted an eyelid, what's the issue?

But after going through all that to just get told "No, you're a man" is quite saddening.

I'm sure it probably is. But it also sounds like you think that what you went through has some meaning or implications for other people when it really doesn't. On a level I can empathise, but it still doesn't make you a woman and I don't feel I am obliged, by dint of the difficulties you've been through, to pretend otherwise.

As an individual, it wouldn't bother me. But I'm not everyone, and I strongly support the right of other women to feel uncomfortable.

Also it's not about whether you the individual, bothers me the individual. I object to the idea women in general should just put up and shut up because yet another group feels their needs are of greater priority.