Performing Femininity and Feminism

[OneFlewOverTheDodosNest]

I've been wondering about the performance of femininity lately, how naturally it comes to some people versus others, and how it has shaped my attitude towards feminism.

For me, performing femininity has never come naturally - I can consciously mirror the actions but it's putting on an act that can be beneficial in certain situations and nothing sticks when I go back to being me, IYSWIM?

I know I've consciously chosen a more feminine appearance at work because the image of a successful businesswoman in my company means highly polished rather than just neat and professional. I'm careful to moderate my natural behaviour in meetings because assertiveness is seen as bolshiness in women. I feel like I'm playing a game without being 100% sure of the rules.

I think this pretence is, in part, why I've been drawn to feminism - because for me everything gender based is an act I'd be happy to be rid of. I'm sure some women find it comes naturally and would probably think this is strange, but is anyone else consciously playing along? And am I somehow doing feminism a disservice for my own benefit?

I've got a lot of thoughts jumped in my head about this that I'm trying to make sense of, but I'd love to hear others thoughts.

I mostly don't wear skirts/dresses at work after the day where I ended up crawling round a datacentre floor pulling cables from cabinets. That's really not so practical in a skirt. I do sometimes wear a dress, but I don't often wear them at all.

Why do we have this obsession with wearing a certain type of clothing for work anyway? Why not wear smart jeans, a jumper and boots? Would it really affect your efficiency that much?!

My office has dress down days at the end of every month. A few people, including me, never dress down . I asked one of my assistants who usually does why he was wearing a suit- was he seeing a client? No, he said , he wasn't, but he had work which had to be completed that day and he doesn't work as well in casual clothes. My very diligent female assistant agreed she doesn't either.

I know someone (male) who, when working from home, dresses in full suit, including waistcoat and tie. Which just goes to show, there's nowt so queer as folk.

Rather judgementa why should he not ? Possibly, like my male employee, being in a suit focuses his mind that he is at work.

I discussed this thread with my husband, about wearing the same clothes often/ on rotation.He reckons if your boss is a male, he will never have noticed if you have the same suit and 5 identical blouses.

I've worked in private sector law firms for over 30 years. I agree with your husband. Many women adopt the stratagem of a few plain skirt or trouser suits or black dresses. I doubt if you asked their bosses, whether male or female, if they could even remember what an employee had been wearing the day before they would be able to remember.

So far as the suggestion women must wear high heels , lots of make up and be glammed up I can't think of a single one of the many female partners I've worked for or with who have adopted that approach as a career move. Some are more dressy than others but other than being presentable to clients nothing more is required.

The heels, dress & makeup for work look isn't glammed up smoky eyes for a night out, Lass, it's that "no makeup makeup" look. I.e. even skin colour, cover blemishes, colour lashes if pale etc. I.e. being "presentable to clients".

If you say so. I don't wear make up at work.

Neither do I, in fact I wear makeup at most once a year myself. Maybe you should hang out in Style & Beauty more

Hmm. My female bank manager remembers exactly who wears what, how long they have owned the clothes for (I kid you not. One day she pulled a face and told me I was wearing a top that I used to wear when I worked there 7 years earlier) and from time to time expressed her desire to make over an employee to make them look gorgeous. I should add that the damned top was literally as good as new and had been hanging in the wardrobe for most of that time. It wasn't even a specifically datable top in fashion terms. I am wincing slightly at 'presentable to clients' - because what we really look isn't good enough? Do the men wear make-up to cover blemishes, enhance their natural features in a discreet way, and make themselves presentable to clients? Or do they just, you know, put their tie on and go and shake hands?

I am trying hard to imagine a fair skinned bloke carefully applying foundation to even his skin tone, mascara to cover his fair lashes, and concealer on his occasional blemish to perfect that 'no make-up make-up' look in order to be presentable for the clients. I'm sure now someone will swing up with a ginger husband to prove otherwise (I've got one myself, thanks) but in general terms, men have not been socialised to believe they are not good enough without 'no make-up make-up' in the workplace.

Quite, madwoman.

"Presentable to clients" requires makeup, no it requires deodorant and an iron