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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminist Pub XX - may the summer rains wash the patriarchy down the plughole

983 replies

NoTechnologicalBreakdown · 07/08/2015 08:17

Ooh ooh! Do I get to start it?

Wine and cake all round. And a celebratory burst on the patriarchy-blasting cannon!

Old pub here

OP posts:
EightNoineTen · 11/07/2016 13:06

Which thread(s) or is it bad form to say?

NeverEverAnythingEver · 11/07/2016 13:19

All my threads are dropping off the list!

slightlyglitterbrained · 11/07/2016 18:27

It's an AIBU thread, predictably. Think you're not supposed to start threads about other threads - I guess it's okay to vent? The one about husband not asking for flexible working seems to have brought out all the usual Stepfords - I am pretty sure some of them turn up religiously to stamp the little woman back down and chide her for her ingratitude. Makes me wonder if they've got a search automated.

Xenophile · 12/07/2016 09:22

They almost certainly do have some kind of alert, I know there's at least one poster who must have an alert set up which triggers at the word abortion, because she's on every single thread about the subject droning on about how women just can't possibly be trusted to make decisions about their bodies.

Xenophile · 12/07/2016 09:23

In today's instalment of "why women are to blame for being raped" I saw this little nugget.Yes, it's been recalled, but how the ever living fuck do police forces STILL get it so wrong?

Felascloak · 12/07/2016 09:47
Angry
FreshwaterSelkie · 12/07/2016 09:53

that pamphlet is ridiculous! I want to believe it's a parody, but sadly it appears not.

I'm finding the dog-whistle types crawling all over feminist threads (here and elsewhere) to spout the same tired old tripe, straw men, derailing etc very very wearing just now. There's stuff I'd love to talk about but I'm hesitant to open up at a time when I'm already feeling very vulnerable. I just want to have a good old whinge 'n' tantrum like an over-tired three year old today Angry

Felascloak · 12/07/2016 10:26

Do it in here selkie and don't mention any buzz words!
I know what you mean. Between the guest post about decrim, the poor Oscar pistorious posts and the weekend debacle about Serena/trans stuff I am also struggling

Xenophile · 12/07/2016 10:52

Don't even go there with the poor fucking Pistorius thread, I wasn't aware that my blood could boil quite that much. I almost feel sorry for the pro-punter poster on the decrim threads, she's obviously really damaged by it all however, the way she is throwing up strawmen and calling in the punters is not on.

Selkie, hope things are ok for you. Feel free to whinge and tantrum in any way that makes you feel better. Take care Flowers

Felascloak · 12/07/2016 12:56

Its not that poster, its the sleazy men feeling like they are all so right on for knowing so much about the subject. It turns my stomach that these guys are getting big pats on the head for being creepy fuckers. And then the debate gets framed as if we are the ones that hate women Sad

Xenophile · 12/07/2016 13:23

It always does. Creepy punters are going to do everything they can and use every insult in the book to ensure they still have unfettered access to women's bodies so they can continue to degrade women. It's our place as the sex class to have men do this in their heads, and how dare we want to change things?

FreshwaterSelkie · 12/07/2016 13:41

Thank you felas and xeno

It was the "losing custody of our ambition" thread that got to me - the comment about becoming cinderella...it really hit home for me just now. And I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do about it. But that thread doesn't feel like the place to discuss it.

WilLiAmHerschel · 12/07/2016 20:46

I feel really worried about the state of the country right now. I know every generation has it's worries but it does feel like things are going backwards equality wise...or maybe I'm worrying over nothing. Usually I find solace in fwr but it feels all gloomy here too. Maybe it's me.

Felascloak · 12/07/2016 20:48

I feel the same wilLiam. I used to love reading FWR but now it seems really quiet and threads infested with goady fuckers :(

OublietteBravo · 12/07/2016 20:53

I think it is quiet in FWR at the moment. I don't spend so much time here anymore - I suspect I'm not alone...

WilLiAmHerschel · 12/07/2016 21:02

Yeah...can we sort it out somehow? Make it the happy, cheery place of yesteryear? I'll go and get the cannon...

OublietteBravo · 12/07/2016 21:09

Has anyone fed the goat recently?

WilLiAmHerschel · 12/07/2016 21:13

Ermmm.... we might need a new goat.

NeverEverAnythingEver · 12/07/2016 21:39

I don't have any cheery news. :(

WilLiAmHerschel · 12/07/2016 21:50

I've just badly burned two fingers on a stupid heating plate stupid air freshener thing.

NeverEverAnythingEver · 12/07/2016 22:03

WilLiAm That is definitely not cheery news. :(

What on earth is an air freshener heating plate anyway?

I'm watching some old episode of Pride and Prejudice on the True Entertainment channel. Hmm

WilLiAmHerschel · 12/07/2016 22:41

I wish I was doing that!

The heating plate is the stupidest thing ever and I wish I'd never seen it in Wilkinson for £6. It plugs in and you put scented wax on top and it melts. The cat knocked the wire, the stupid thing dropped and I picked it up bare handed not thinking.

OublietteBravo · 12/07/2016 22:43

My DD loves her new haircut and has been swishing her hair all afternoon. However, she's fully aware that tying it back and getting on with her adventure holiday next week is much more important than having nice swishy hair I might have a touch of hair envy today

Xenophile · 13/07/2016 12:23

I'm going to fail at being cheery, because this perception is pissing me off, so I am going to rant here about it, and then blog......

I wonder where all these people are who just hand out Dxs like smarties, when anyone who has actually had anything to do with the system knows how difficult it is to access specialists and even then to get any kind of Dx at all.

This is especially true for girls and women for whom ADHD presents differently than for males. The same goes for ASD and indeed many physical health issues.

Even with a Dx, PIP and/or UC are nigh on impossible to get and these difficulties almost always fall onto the shoulders of women.

Women who have had to leave jobs and careers to care for their children, because working when you have a child with ANs is nigh on impossible, given that schools are so poorly funded and seem to uninterested in providing full time education to children with ANs, and therefore call the mother to collect that child.

Women who, because of society's view that women, mothers, are naturally the better placed person to care for that child give up everything to do that. So those women are then placed into the group 'economically inactive' and castigated for being so. Their pensions are being taken away, because caring is seen as a 'choice'.

Women who, when their husband/partner decides that they've had enough gets to just walk away and then quibble about how much maintenance they are willing to pay for their children, when the added financial burden of having a child with ANs is ignored, are just left to get on with it. (and the stats for divorce when there is a child with AN in the mix are high, much higher than the national average)

And yet there are continual 'examples' of women who are 'setting out' to get their child Dx'd for things so they can 'claim benefits' for them. There are easier ways to get money, like working for example.

VestalVirgin · 13/07/2016 12:37

What is a Dx?
I try to keep up with all the abbreviations on mumsnet, but I've never seen that one before.

I agree with you on the topic of care - in fact, while my biological clock is ticking and I soon have to decide whether to have children, or not, the more threads I read here, the less it seems worth the trouble. (Especially since I know I would be a single mother, with all that implies)

Sinking birth rates are the natural consequence of contraception combined with a society that makes women suffer for having children.

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