Feminist Pub XX - may the summer rains wash the patriarchy down the plughole

[NoTechnologicalBreakdown]

Ooh ooh! Do I get to start it?

Wine and cake all round. And a celebratory burst on the patriarchy-blasting cannon!

Old pub here

Nowhere is safe. :(

Can we overthink here rather than underthink?

I prefer overthinking ...

I read that one, too, GreenTomatoJam. Sad, isn't it?

I also read the one where a woman wants to buy shoes with heels for her eight year old because she fears that if she doesn't, the poor thing might end up not being able to walk in high heels. (Which, apparently, would be terrible )

Just in case any one is in London and fancies some feministing

Matchwomen's Festival

I prefer over-thinking too. I wish more people did it...

Today I am imagining an updated scold's bridle. Only instead of going over the faces of uppity gossipy women, this one is attached to the typing fingers of MRAs. So when they try to type goady fucking nonsense on feminist forums, they just end up impotently banging their helpless fists on their keyboards. Muahahahahah!

Let's get a kickstarter going and make it happen!

Hello Buffy!

I have slunk in to down a few single malts as a result of having fairly inadvertently got into a slanging match on Facebook about trans issues. Apparently I am a TERFy bigot and Nazi.

Loving the finger bridle plan, Selkie.

Sorry about the facebookery fuckery, EE. Whiskey is probably the way to go.

Coming in for a hand-hold. Yet another friend has just told me she was raped, aged 15. Every time one of my friends finds the courage to talk about their rape, I just want to cry! And it takes me by surprise every bloody time, even though I know the 1 in 4 statistic and know how common it is. Why can't society bloody well do something about it, something radical, like, I dunno, take the victims' statements seriously and actually prosecute the bastards? I know it's self-indulgent of me to feel sad at second hand, but I still feel upset, and angry, and powerless...

It's maddening, isn't it?

Too many women harmed, too many rapists walking around because society refuses to do anything about it

I'm amazed at how widespread rape actually is. I know so many women who have been affected by this issue. Yet the men in my social circle see it as something incredibly rare - how can that be?

Thank you!

She and I are having a long e-mail chat (unfortunately she lives a very long way away).

I think a lot of men (and quite a few victim-blamey women) don't know about it because women become very astute at reading which people are likely to believe them, and which will belittle or minimize, or victim-blame, and they only open up to people they know they can trust.

Lurcio - doesn't matter how far apart you live. That you gave her the space to share her experience & you believed her is so powerful.

It's horrible lurcio . Horrifyingly common, and yet still society thinks women (who have nothing to gain) are likely to be the lying ones.

One tactic I did use on a male friend which I think did force him into a rethink was to point out to him that statistically he was more likely to be anally raped by another man than he was to be falsely accused of rape by a woman.

I guess we just have to keep listening, keep believing, keep pulling people up on rape myths.

I've found that three of the most powerful words you can say to a woman who discloses sexual assault or rape to you is a simple "I believe you".

To know that someone has listened and not dismissed what happened to you is amazing. It helps you to start healing.

Lurcio

Good point to your male friend

Well done Sadiq Khan www.standard.co.uk/news/london/sadiq-khan-there-will-be-no-more-body-shaming-adverts-on-the-tube-a3269951.html

Gosh I thought the pub had gone for a moment - it just dropped down the board. Everyone going teetotal for the summer?
I need a triple G&T I'm afraid, I'm so fucking cross today. I liked the whole ROAR thing but plus ca change.

No, you didn't cause a problem, I said you were busy because you weren't posting here much at the time because you were... busy and you were.

Hello! I'm about ready to explode at rape apologists on here. Need a drink to calm down.....

Felas.. if it's on that thread we're both on, I suspect that the rape apology serves a purpose for her. It's no excuse, but it might be a reason.

Rape apologism has got a lot worse on MN in the last year or so, along with the rampant xenophobia, racism, ablism and misogyny. Which is why I generally stick to FWR and the majority normal people that post here.